Status: We'll see where this one leads

A Lifelong Promise

Flowers

"What the fuck is this!" James yelled again as he got closer to Paul, storming over pissed off and on a mission.

"L-look," Paul stuttered completely caught off guard and trying to figure out when he dropped the pictures. "I-I can explain," he started in self defense in hopes that James would take a breather for one second and listen to him. He could see the look in James eyes, and understandably he was as angry as he'd ever seen him.

James didn't wait for Paul to continue speaking. As soon as he was within arms reach of his buddy, James pulled his arm back and punched Paul smack in the jaw. Paul stumbled backwards before pulling himself back up. "It's not what you think man," Paul continued in self defense knowing full-well that James wouldn't listen- and even though he wasn't happy he just got hit, he couldn't blame the guy for it.

"It isn't?" he yelled condescendingly. "So you aren't fucking my wife?"

"No!" Paul yelled. His eyes popped open and he was still nursing his jaw. His heart was racing as this spectacle continued in front of everyone. "I'm not sleeping with her," he said looking directly at James. When he looked up and saw the looks his teammates were giving him, he felt the need to defend himself. "I'm not sleeping with her!" he yelled again looking all them in the eyes.

James and Paul stood there, squared off with each other for a few seconds before Crosby patted Paul on the shoulder. "Let's take this outside guys," he said quietly as he was acute to the looks they were getting from patrons of the restaurant. "Not the place."

James and Paul both nodded and agreed to step outside where this would undoubtably continue. As soon as the doors closed behind them James went right back to it. "You didn't answer my question. What the fuck are these pictures?" he yelled as he looked down at them again. Paul saw James wince when his eyes fell to the fourth and last picture before he looked up at him and threw the photo strip at him. "And why the fuck are you kissing her?" James shook his head and went to punch Paul again but was stopped by one of the other guys- the rest of the group was just as in shock as James and totally prepared to prevent a fight from breaking out there on the street. "You've played me this entire time. You've listened to me tell you everything and the whole time you were fucking my wife!" he yelled, releasing not only anger and frustration but hurt as well.

"Would you just listen to me!" Paul demanded as he raised his voice. "It's not what you think! I'm not sleeping with her. It's not like that."

"Oh really?" James asked mocking him. "Forgive me if I don't believe you."

"I know how it looks but nothing happened...." Paul took a second to muster out the second half of the sentence. "While you were married," he added with his head down.

"I'm still fucking married to her you asshole!" James yelled as he began to lunge at him but was again restrained.

"NO!" Paul said more aggressively. "You aren't. You did a great job at ending your marriage."

"And you just went right in there right? Where is she?" James demanded to know. It was clear by the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice that he wasn't leaving without Paul giving up that information.

"I'm not telling you," Paul said, standing his ground and adamantly denying his request to protect Clare.

"Where. The fuck. Is she," James demanded to know again, his tone lower and his gaze deathly.

Paul shook his head as he glared at James. "Fuck. You."

Just as James began to try and shake free to go after Paul there on the street again, he heard a familiar voice bellowing from behind him. "I think I can help you with that." James quickly whipped his head around to see the guy he thought would be a threat all along. Jason stared at the two of them there on the street with an amused grin on his face.

Paul glared at Jason and felt his blood boiling. "Where did you come from?"

"It's Sunday. We don't work on Sunday and I have a life of my own. So forgive me for dining in the neighborhood- I just finished and I'm on my way home with my lady-friend over there. I wish I knew how entertaining my meal was going to be."

"Get out of here, this isn't your business- this doesn't concern you," Paul snipped, wanting to hit the guy himself.

"Well I don't think the night Clare and I went out- remember that? In your building lobby?" Jason asked as he looked at Paul with pure hatred, ready to hand James the information he so desperately wanted on a platter. "I don't think that night was any of your concern either. I guess last night when I told you how fucked up it was that you were with your teammates ex-wife, I guess I wasn't the only one who thought that."

Paul's nostrils flared and his lips pursed as James absorbed what Jason just said. "Your building lobby?" He asked in disbelief as he shook his head. "She lives in your building," James said out loud, still not able to accept all of this information. "It all makes sense now," James said wide-eyed as he thought back and realized what he should have seen all along. "The way you always, always defended her, came to check on her when she was sick- the flowers, you were the one who sent them to her. Not you," he said turning to Jason before turning his attention back to Paul. "It was you. All of it. You helped her get out of our place and into another one so quickly- I knew she had help, great help at that. Oh my God," James said more distraught as what he was saying out loud hit him internally, in the heart. "Oh my God. I expected someone like Jason to go after her. I'm not stupid. I knew guys would want to be with her- but you? I didn't expect my friend to be the one who stole the winning ticket out of my hand."

Paul didn't know what to say as he listened to James figure it all out. "Okay," Paul said as he put his hands up in a surrendering motion. "I won't say I didn't do anything inappropriate, alright. I tried not to have feelings for her, I tried man- out of respect for you. I sent her the flowers, okay? I know! I just couldn't stand to see her as unhappy as she was. You fucking neglected her for how long? Fucked anything with a pulse behind her back. Stood her up. Ignored her. I was the one who would see her crying when you'd forget about her or blow her off at the rink. I was the one who had to look in her eyes and see the pain that you caused and have to try and find some kind of comforting words to make her feel the slightest bit better. You think I asked for that? That I could stand it? You ignoring your wife and not being a husband is why I even developed feelings for her in the first place. I didn't do anything- I didn't steal anything- I never made a move even when I thought I'd explode. Nothing happened...before last night."

"You're going to take me to her apartment," James demanded.

"No," Paul shook his head. "I'm not."

"I'll ask the doorman. I'll knock on every door. One way or another, I'm going there and I will see my wife."

"STOP!" Paul yelled, he was clearly at his breaking point. "Stop calling her your wife. She isn't your wife anymore. You broke the vows. You're the reason she lives in my building now."

"I know that," James yelled back with pangs of guilt and pain. "And you listened to me tell you everything about what was going on between her and I, and how miserable I've been. And all the while you were moving in on her."

"It wasn't like that. I didn't intend for this to happen."

"But it did. You using my admissions of guilt against me makes you a bigger asshole than I already think you are."

"I'm not using anything against you! I've never mocked your situation and if you think back clearly, I tried to warn you about what you would lose if you didn't clean up your act. I told you to snap out of it and fix your marriage. You didn't care then. Why should you care now- because someone else is showing interest in her? You're threatened all of a sudden? She left and it's over. What she does isn't your concern anymore."

James was sick to his stomach and angry beyond repair. He couldn't think straight. He did the first thing that came naturally to him- he punched Paul in the face once again.

Paul steadied himself once again and when he looked up he didn't see James. He looked around but James wasn't there like he had been a half a minute ago. "Where is he?" he looked around at the guys but no one had the nerve to say anything. "Where is he?" Paul asked more authoritatively this time.

"He's gone," Crosby said quietly. "I think you can figure out where he went."

Paul dropped his head and rubbed his forehead taking a second to regain his composure. "For what it's worth," Crosby said so only Paul could hear him as he grabbed his shoulder and gave it a sympathetic squeeze. "I don't blame you for this."

"No?" Paul looked up at him and asked seriously needing to know the truth.

Crosby shook his head. "I'd hate you if you did this to Hannah. Difference is...I wouldn't ever give you the reason to."

Paul nodded his head understanding full-well what Crosby meant- and knowing Crosby understood the situation more than he expected. "I gotta run," Paul breathed out as he pushed through everyone and ran to his car. He knew James had a head-start and he needed to do his best to catch up before he bombarded Clare.

Paul drove home barely able to breathe with his heart in his throat the entire time. He couldn't fully focus on the ride, he was completely determined to get to the destination. After white-knuckling the wheel he parked and ran to the front of his building as fast as he could. He pressed the elevator doors frantically and fidgeted mindless the whole way up, feeling as if he was on the longest elevator ride of his life. When the doors opened he sprinted down the hall and when he rounded the corner and saw Clare's door he felt his body go numb. He wasn't sure what he'd find on the other end but when he approached it, he saw that it wasn't fully closed, so he pushed it open.

"Get away from her," he practically growled as he immediately laid his eyes on James who was begging Clare to give him an explanation. When he looked over at Clare and saw the tears in her eyes, he knew he'd be sacrificing a friendship but in that moment, he didn't care. "I'm sorry," he breathed out as he met eyes with Clare. "I guess the pictures fell out of my wallet," he explained as he began to walk closer to her. "And he found them. And because nothing goes my way in life, Jason was there and told him where you were." He was about to reach out and grab her but James forcefully pushed him backwards.

"Don't touch her." There were so many more things behind that statement than what it simply was. Paul knew James was threatening him but he wasn't afraid of whatever James would throw his way.

"Why are you even here? Are you pleading with her for another chance? What is this- your hundredth time begging her for forgiveness, promising you'll never hurt her again? News flash- she stopped buying the shit you were selling a long time ago."

James looked like he took a dagger when he heard Paul's words. He looked at him for a few moments before turning his attention back to Clare. He put his hands on either of her upper arms and looked down into her confused eyes. "I know I hurt you, but I don't deserve this. I deserve a lot of things, I deserve you leaving, I deserve to be alone and miserable to wallow in my self-pity every night knowing what I lost...but I don't deserve watching you with him." He paused for a few seconds and looked down at the ground before looking up back into Clare's eyes where she could see the tears forming his. "I can't handle it," he breathed out, probably the most vulnerable he'd been to this point. "Are you doing this to get back at me? To hurt me? Because I get it."

Clare shook her head as she looked back at him. "No," she said softly, her own face wet from tears. "You weren't even supposed to find out. I didn't do this to hurt you...I'm not you- nothing happened while we were together. I wouldn't do that to you. He's just been a great friend to me and it kind of...just happened. I didn't want it to because even though I'm furious with you, I didn't want to do that to you- but it did and...I don't know," she sighed out.

"See," Paul interjected from his spot a few feet away, watching them interact. "I told you. She didn't betray you."

"No," James spun around and looked at Paul, where he could see the hurt and brokenness plastered on his face. "But you did."

"I didn't do it on purpose," Paul said through gritted teeth.

"You fucking sent her flowers! My wife! You sent my wife flowers- while we were very much still married!"

"I never told her!" Paul yelled back in this quickly escalating battle of words they were engaging in.

"Flowers?" Clare asked as she wrinkled her brow and looked back and forth between the two of them confused.

Both men stopped their bickering and breathed heavily as they realized they revealed this information in front of Clare.

"You...sent me flowers? When?" she asked as she looked to Paul genuinely having no idea what they were talking about. Suddenly her eyes widened and her mouth opened as she raised her hand to cover it. "Oh my God," she said in a barely audible gasp. "Those flowers that I thought you sent," she turned to James who wore guilt and remorse on his face. "After I told you about his ritual, when things were getting really bad," she turned back to Paul figuring it out. "And you," she turned back to James. "You didn't really send them. That's why they had no note, no nothing. Because it wasn't from you. Oh my God," she moaned out again and ran her hand over her face. "I feel like such a jackass." She put her face in her hands and cried for a few seconds before looking up at James. "And you never said anything. You never said a word- you took the credit for something you didn't do." She turned back to Paul shook her head. "And you let him. You never told me, you never once let on that it was you."

Paul swallowed as he gave a faint nod. His heart was frozen in his chest and he couldn't move- until he saw her lips curl up into the smallest of grins. "You did that to make me smile- even if that meant he got all the credit."

Paul nodded again as he was caught red-handed. Seeing her look at him the way she was, he couldn't help feeling himself smiling back just the slightest. "I would do anything to make you smile," he breathed out with a raspy voice.

James squeezed his eyes shut and felt the sharp pains in his stomach. Every lie he'd told, everything he'd done wrong to her, he was paying for now. He reached out for Clare's hand but she snatched it away. "Don't touch me," she said through tears. "I can't do this with you anymore. I can't keep letting you get to me like this."

Though she resisted, he tried to pull her to him and run his hand down her cheek. "You can't just forget all the history we have. The life we built together. I know I fucked it up," he said totally breaking down. "But I love you. And I'm sorry."

Clare took a deep breath and let the air out slowly. "You're right. I can't forget our history...and I loved you more than you know. But I can't forgive you for what you did, either."

"I can't imagine living my life without you Clare. I never wanted to, I still don't- I've never been this lonely. You're my wife. This...can't be it. This can't really be over- not for him. What we have? It can't be over."

Clare wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and sniffled back her sobs. "Then how come it is?"

James looked at her and fought back having uncontrollable despair before shaking his head and turning to leave. He didn't look at Paul as he walked out with his head down and Paul didn't look at him.

When the door closed and James was gone, neither Clare or Paul moved for a few seconds. Finally, Clare wiped her face once again and walked slowly over to Paul. She stood in front of him and swallowed as she got him to look at her. She held his gaze for a moment before resting her hand on his cheek and catching him off guard by reaching up and kissing him.
♠ ♠ ♠
It's not this simple. And it's not even close to over. It's still up in the air who she'll end up with even though it seems hopeless for James.

I have to say, I really enjoy seeing the debates in the comments as to the 'team James' vs. 'team Paul' dilemma. I understand why some of you feel one way, and why some of you feel another. I'm glad you're invested enough to care that much, and I hope -however it ends- that you're not disappointed when we get there.

What do you think? Seems Paul's selfless gesture all that time ago really touched Clare's heart. Did you expect that to come back up? Can James ever make up for what he's done- because let's be honest, though she loves him, she probably can't trust him even if she wanted to. He's hurting...but right now he kind of should be. We'll see what happens next ;)
Thanks for reading!