A Lifelong Promise

"What changed your mind?" Paul asked as he laid in bed tangled up in the sheets and Clare after their round of hot make-up sex. As soon as they opened the door to her apartment he had pushed her against the wall and ripped her clothes off of her while she went to work on his suit. He slowed the pace once her back hit the bed and took his time in pleasing her but the heightened sense of love and adrenaline overtook his senses as he was appreciating the fact that they'd found their way back to each other rather than fall apart. The actions she took to show him her feelings towards him spoke louder than any words she could have spoken. Now they were cuddled up against each other and it was time to say the things that needed to be said.

"I spent the night you left trying to figure out what I wanted- if I was really as ready for all this as I thought I was," Clare answered sheepishly as she kept her eyes down- she couldn't look him in the eyes and say that.

"I hope this is going in the right direction," he said with a grin knowing she came to a favorable conclusion. He was secure in their relationship regardless of the curves thrown their way. He was more secure now than he'd been before their big blow-up fight.

"Shut up," she shot back with a cute laugh as she gave him a playful slap on his chiseled chest. "I was really a mess, I really was. I didn't get much sleep."

"Neither did I."

"I know that a lot of what you said was totally right," she said as she turned into him and looked up at him from her place on his shoulder. She rested her hand delicately on his cheek and felt safe despite the fact that the only thing covering her bare breasts as they pushed into his naked chest was the comforter. "Going through everything I went through really messed me up but you've never done anything to hurt me. And I don't...I don't think you ever would. You've sacrificed more for me than he ever did and you didn't even have a reason to."

"I wouldn't say that," he whispered as he leaned down and gave her a quick peck. "I had my reasons."

"Everything you said the other night is why we're so good together. I don't wanna lose you, Paul. I know we're kind of unconventional considering I was married when I met you and I don't think that's exactly the type of person a guy like you is looking at as a potential girlfriend, but you've been such a wonderful friend to me through everything I can't help but trust you even if I'm held back by fear. We never talked about your past and the thing is, it doesn't really matter because if you can love me through mine when you work with it, I can love you over the things you did years ago."

Paul looked down into her eyes and caressed her head as he ran his fingers through her hair before he leaned down and pressed his lips softly against hers. The way his eyes shimmered when he looked at her said more than anything that could escape from his lips.

"I thought about walking away, seriously thought about it," Clare admitted as she swallowed a gulp of nervousness. "But it wasn't because of me....I thought maybe it'd be best for you. If I walked away you could free yourself from the mess we've created. It isn't fair to you to have to deal with the brunt of it when the only thing you did wrong was care about me. I didn't wanna see you go through that and I thought about leaving, about going to my grandparents down south, but I don't want to go anywhere you aren't."

He looked at her again and swallowed before kissing her forehead. "I'm glad you decided to stay. I'd rather deal with what I have to face times a million than lose you."

Clare smiled a relieved smile at him as she nuzzled in closer. "I know that," she let out softly.

"You have grandparents that live down south?" he asked her amused as it just hit him what she'd said.

"Yeah, they got tired of cold weather and shoveling snow. Wanted a simpler, warmer life. So they went down to South Carolina and never looked back."

"Not bad. You're close with them then?" This was something he didn't already know about her and any opportunity he had to learn more about her life he took in an instant.

"Yeah I am. If I didn't have you after everything hit the fan with James I would have run to their place," she admitted with her cheek resting on his chest. She was able to hear his heart beat and it made her smile. He made her feel comfortable and safe just by his touch, and she didn't want to ever leave her spot from there in his arms.

"That's interesting, I didn't know that. I don't think he ever mentioned anything about family down south."

"Oh well I don't think it's something he would bring up. He's close with his family too but there'd by times when you guys would be on extended road trips that I'd go down and stay with them for a few days. They have horses and lots of property; they live on acres of land that has this beautiful river run through it," she said with a sigh as she imagined the land in her mind. "It's so peaceful there. It's like going back in time."

"It sounds it," Paul said genuinely wanting to see it someday. "I'd love to go with you."

"I hope so because I wouldn't mind bringing you. They'd love it, don't tell any other my cousins but I'm kind of their favorite," she laughed. "Plus they'd adore you. More than James, anyway."

"They didn't like him?"

"Oh no they did," she clarified. "It wasn't like that. They thought he was fine, didn't mind him. They were always good to him, treated him like their own grandkid you know? It's just....I don't know. It's different. I can't really explain it."

"You don't have to. I know how you feel." He did, he knew things were different with her than they'd been with anyone else prior. So he understood what she meant and he loved the fact that she was so sure her family would approve of him. He would totally understand if they viewed him as horribly as James did.

"So," Clare started, this time more timidly. "We're good. You and me."

"We're more than good," Paul answered reassuring her as best he could. "I'm not upset with you. I'm actually really content right now lying here with you like this. I'm kinda just at peace."

Clare felt her lips curl up into a smile and she breathed in deeply as her heart swelled. "Like I said, I don't want to give up on this."

"I won't ever give you a reason to."

Clare reached up and kissed him hard on the lips before settling back down on his chest. "Will, uh, will the other night be the first and last time we see your ex? Or will she be back?"

Paul couldn't hide the smirk that spread across his face. "You jealous?"

"Well yeah," Clare laughed. "Wouldn't you..." she started to say but trailed off as she realized how stupid of a question it was. "Yeah... nevermind," she said as she felt her cheeks turning red from embarrassment and Paul ate it up.

"I like that you're jealous," Paul admitted with a little shrug. It made him feel like he really belonged to her and that she wanted it that way. "I've been jealous more times in my life since I've been with you than I ever had been combined before."

"What do you mean?"

"Well before we were even really together I had to deal with you being married- which is totally my own fault for developing feelings in the first place. Then you guys split up and I still didn't allow myself to go there yet, but when you relapsed and had sex with him that night before you got drunk with the dude you work with...yeah, jealousy at its finest my lady--all of it."

"Paul," Clare reached up and pressed her cold nose to his cheek as she nuzzled into him. He could sense the slight sense of urgency behind her sudden movement.

"Yeah babe?" he asked softly as he clamped his hands around her.

"Don't give up on me," she pleaded so softly it was borderline whispering.

"I wasn't planning on it," he said with a slight chuckle at how ridiculous he found the possibility of that to be.

"I'm serious," she said this time her tone of voice reflecting her words. "I know I've been a challenge to some degree and there's a lot of baggage that comes with being with me. No matter what happens just don't give up on me."

"I won't Clare," he whispered sincerely and reassuringly before he gave her a sweet kiss on her soft lips.

***

The next day at practice Paul wasn't looking forward to seeing James- he knew that Clare's ex-husband didn't take it well when Clare showed up to support him, and with everything James had put Clare and he through already, he expected some kind of retribution. When he walked in the locker room, however, he didn't see James. Paul thought it was weird but didn't think much of it. He figured James was running late- perhaps he'd drank a little too much in response to Clare's declaration of commitment to Paul and couldn't wake up due to a biting hangover. It didn't make Paul think anything about it until practice was over and he realized James hadn't shown up at all.

Paul had made plans to meet Clare back at his apartment for lunch, which was precisely where he was headed as soon as he could get out of the arena in as good a mood as any. When he walked through the door he put his stuff down, went to do his business in the bathroom and was in the process of washing his hands when he heard his front door open. When he stepped out into the hall and saw Clare traipsing in his apartment he smiled to himself. When she looked up and saw him, her eyes lit up and she held the two cups of Starbucks up at him. "Got this for you."

"Thanks Clare," he grunted out as he simultaneously took his cup from her hand and wrapped his other free one around her waist, pressed it to the small of her back and pulled her into him tightly for a heart racing kiss. As their kiss slowed to a stop he felt Clare's shaky breath against him, her eyes still closed taking him in. "You're welcome," she flirted as she flashed him a sexy smile.

Paul looked down into her eyes for a few seconds and knew she was thinking the same thing he was. He grabbed her drink, put them both down on the table and walked back to Clare, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. They crashed their lips together and immediately began to maul at each other's clothes. Paul slammed her back into the wall of the hallway and ripped her shirt up and over her head exposing her tits in that sexy bra to him. He grabbed at them, squeezed them, kissed them and licked them until he felt Clare slid down and put her feet on the ground. She ran her hands from his sides, down across his abdomen and met them at his belt buckle where she quickly undid it and unzipped his pants. She slipped her hand in under his boxers and gave his hard cock a squeeze before sliding down onto her knees and tugging his pants all the way down to free his dick. Just as she was about to take him in her mouth they both froze as they heard a knock on his door.

"Oh fuck," Paul panted in complete frustration. He seriously considered ignoring whoever was there when he had Clare half naked and on her knees in front of him.

"Don't get it," she moaned as she looked up at him and shook her head.

Paul was about to give into her request when he heard it again. He pursed his lips and puffed out a frustrated sigh before he pulled his pants back up and walked over to the door. He just finished zippering his pants but hadn't bothered to redo his belt when he opened it just enough to stick his head out.

"Hey," James greeted Paul with the saddest look on his face, no hint of resentment or revenge for the first time since he found out about he and Clare.

Paul's eyes popped open and he tried to slow his heart rate. He knew his cheeks were red and his lips raw from using them on Clare, but he didn't want James to be able to tell. The second James let his eyes fall to Paul's obviously undone belt buckle though, Paul could tell by the look on his face that James knew what was going on.

"Is Clare here?" James asked before Paul could even get a word out with the same pained expression and winced at the thought of her being intimate with someone else.

Paul didn't know what to say and had to fight the urge to say something that would lead to a fight between the two of them. "Are you seriously here to find her-- like I won't protect her?"

"It's not like that," James immediately said with his hand up in a surrendered motion. Paul looked down at the ground and let out a deep breath before pushing the door all the way open where James finally saw Clare. Her eyes widened the second she laid them on James-- she could tell by the look in his red eyes and unkempt hair that something was very wrong. "Can I talk to you?" he asked somberly and she hesitantly nodded her head. "I'm not here to cause any trouble for a change. I went to your apartment and you weren't there so I figured here was a safe bet."

"What's wrong?" she asked as she walked over to him and swallowed knowing it couldn't be good.

"My grandfather died this morning," he said as he dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand as he tried to keep it together. When he finally looked up at her with tears welling in his eyes she felt her jaw drop and the tears begin to form behind her own. The news was startling to her-- she'd spent a lot of time with his family and news like this hurt her just as bad as it did him.

"How?" she asked in disbelief. "What happened?"

"He had a heart attack and couldn't overcome it," he explained. They both knew his grandfather had heart issues but every time something went wrong he'd been able to pull through.

Paul rested his hand on Clare's lower back but didn't smother her. He saw the look on her face and wanted to give her any kind of support he could.

"I'm so sorry James," Clare breathed out as she walked over and offered him a sympathetic hug. Paul swallowed as he watched her embrace her ex-husband but stayed silent as she did.

"Listen, you were part of my family for a long time-- until I went and fucked it all up," James started still as somber and heartbroken as he was when he walked in the door. "The funeral is in two days back home and I was hoping you'd come with me."

Clare felt her heart rate pick up just a bit as she absorbed his request. Clare knew how hard this was for James- how close he was with his grandfather, but the fact that they had broken up made everything a clusterfuck. "Uh...I... I don't know..." she stuttered out as she looked nervously back to Paul who was doing his best to pretend he wasn't bothered by that favor. Due to the circumstances it made everything very complicated and hard to see where the line in the sand needed to be drawn.

"I need you to come with me," James immediately pleaded. "I can't get through this by myself," he said as he began to break down in front of her. "Look I'll do whatever I have to do-- I'll sign the divorce papers if you just come with me. After the funeral we'll come back here and I'll leave you to be with Paul," James said with a swallow in attempt to mask his obvious pain. "Please."