A Lifelong Promise

Paul felt Clare squirm against him and gently rubbed his hands over her hip so she felt secure knowing he was there. "Morning gorgeous," he whispered in her ear as he kissed the side of her head. She had slept for over twelve hours and barely made a sound or moved a muscle due to whatever drug Jason had snuck into her system. He had never been so worried about anything in his life as much as he was for Clare, and seeing her in such a bad way made him all the more protective of her. He laid by her all night, held her close to him and knew without any inclination of doubt that he wanted to spend all his days with her by his side. No matter how hard he tried to fight it, she was the girl for him and there was no getting around it.

Clare rolled over and turned on her other side where she finally faced him. She nuzzled into his chest and let out little moans as she came to. "I don't feel so great."

"Yeah I didn't think you would. Here," he turned and reached for the water bottle on the table next to his bed. "Drink this," he instructed as he handed it to her. As she scooted up to take a chug of the water Paul brushed her hair away from her face and lightly kissed her forehead. "I've never been as afraid of anything in my entire life as I was last night."

Clare slid back down and let him wrap her up into him, pressing her head into his strong chest again. "I don't want to talk about it, I want to pretend it didn't happen. Just thinking about it and what he did to me and what he wanted to do and what he would have done if you didn't show up..." she let out a deep breath and shook her head as she groggily got flashes back from the night before. "Who does that to someone? It wasn't like I was on a date with him or we were alone by any means. Last thing I remember was everyone ordering drinks and after I was almost done with mine I felt really out of it and I knew something wasn't right. I was terrified and I called you and I...I don't really know what happened or what I said to you. I blacked out and then you were with me and I was here and I was safe and I don't want to ever leave your side."

Paul smiled to himself when he heard her say those words. "I don't plan on ever letting that happen." He pulled back and looked down at her. "I need you to know that what I did, it wasn't because I was trying to make any decisions for you or thought you couldn't do it on your own. I realize now - which I already knew, to be honest, that it was the dumbest thing I'd ever done. I spent every second in pain over it. I just thought..."

"I know," she said softly and understanding. "You loved me enough to let me go. You gave me freedom - something James never did. I get that now."

"I would never do anything to hurt you, not intentionally. I just hope you can forgive me and trust me because I don't think I could keep it together without you."

"Paul," she breathed out his name so sweetly as she nuzzled tighter into him. "I trust you with my life. You're it for me."

Paul felt himself overcome with emotion as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I have something you might be interested in," he said enticingly as he caressed her and held her close to him.

"What's that?"

"Want me to tell you or show you?"

"Well I would say show but I still feel like death and I don't want you to move away from me. So tell me."

"The reason I knew you were supposed to hop a flight down to South Carolina is because James stopped by and told me. The reason he came was to give me a folder. Clare he signed the papers."

She looked up at him wide-eyed and he saw her jaw drop. "He did what?"

"He told me that I won, that you didn't love him and it was over. He gave me your flight info and handed me the folder. I ran out the door to get you off that plane, to try and stop you anyway I could. I bought a useless ticket just to get through security and sprinted to your gate but the plane already took off and I just missed it. I thought you were gone and that it was over."

"You chased me down in an airport to keep me from leaving?" she asked as she looked at him amazed.

"Yeah," he said quietly not wanting to relive that moment. "I was too late."

"Paul..." she sighed with a slight shake of her head. It was clear by the look on her face how shocked she was at his confession and how much it meant to her.

"I went to your apartment because it was so damn hard being in this building and not seeing you anymore. I just, I guess I wanted closure or I don't even know. I had no idea you were there and when I saw your shoes by the door I figured it out."

Clare wiped the faint tears from her eyes as she listened to him fill her in on his side of the story. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I don't blame you. I was an idiot for letting you go."

"So you're telling me that he signed the papers. Finally. And that I'm officially on the market again?"

"Yeah," Paul nodded with a grin. It felt so good for him to say that to her, to know that there was nothing tying her back to her old life anymore.

"Well, see, there's a problem."

"A problem?" he crooked his neck and looked at her with confusion.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Because I don't want to be." She looked up at him and her lips slowly curled into an enchanting smile. Paul instantaneously pressed his lips to hers as the realization of what she was telling him sank in.

"Good," he said as he pulled back and nuzzled the tip of his nose against hers. "Because I don't want you to be either. It took me over thirty years to find the girl that made everything else come second. I don't want to waste anymore time."

"Can you do me a favor?" she asked sincerely and sweetly.

"Anything."

"Just lay here with me," she moaned into his warm chest. "I don't feel normal yet, I still feel so out of it, so sick."

"Of course baby," he breathed out. "But then again I don't expect you to be normal at least for the day, until all that shit gets out of your system. You puked last night - I cleaned it up. Just so you know, when you are feeling better and can be left on your own, I'm going to kill that mother fucker so...prepare for that."

"Paul," she clung to him tighter. "I can't let you kill him. But I definitely will let you go with me to work so that he gets fired."

"How did nobody else pick up on the fact that you weren't alright?"

"You know that's a good question. I think that he, well, he's a good smooth talker, ya know? I think that when I started to feel out of it he kind of just told everyone I was okay, I just drank too much too fast. I don't know. I know he said he would take me home because I remember someone else asking if they should..." she said slowly as she pieced together what little she could remember before she blacked out.

"I'm just glad you called me..."

"You were the only one I could think of, like...the only one I wanted to call. I wanted to call you a hundred times this last week and I had to fight every urge not to kiss you when you showed up here the other day. I was just so hurt and so angry. Even the other night when you were drunk and at the house fighting with him it just broke my heart."

"Clare," Paul's tone of voice made her more attentive to whatever it was he was going to say. "James gave me flight info and I know you had a ticket...why didn't you go?"

"Do you want me to tell you what I told myself or do you want me to tell you the truth?"

"Well that depends. What'd you tell yourself?"

"I told myself that I was staying because I worked hard at my job and I liked it and I didn't want to run away from every problem in my life. I could move out of this building and never have to see either of you and live my own life."

"And the truth?"

"I didn't want to leave you."

Paul's lips curled up into a smile and he felt his heart swelling with warmth. "I like that version better."

"Yeah I thought you might," she giggled as she pressed her lips to his.

"Do you want anything? You've been knocked out for a good while now and you need to get some protein in you Clare - you gotta eat something."

"I know I probably should but I just can't handle it right now. I don't think I could hold it down."

"You gotta eat something soon. Your body is still recovering from all that crap in there."

"I know. I should be mostly myself by tomorrow, right? I should be up to eating and just being normal."

"I don't know," Paul borderline laughed. "I've never tried to date rape anyone so I don't know how long it takes from the drugs to pass through your system."

"Shut up," Clare said wit a smile that quickly faded when the realization of his words hit her. "I've never been so scared," she said with a swallow as she put her raw emotions on display.

"Neither have I."

"I'm so tired. My body is just exhausted and emotionally I'm just beat. I'm gonna fall asleep."

"And I'll be here when you wake up. I won't leave your side."

Clare relaxed even more as he held her in his arms and drifted off into a much needed sleep. When she woke up Paul was right there by her side like he promised he would be. She didn't get out of bed, she wasn't lying when she said that she would sleep most of the day, because before she knew it the sun had gone down and she still wanted to sleep.

When the day broke Clare fluttered her eyes open but didn't see Paul in bed with her. She could tell by the noises echoing from the kitchen that he was cooking up some delicious meal and when she heard him clunking down the hallway she smiled to herself.

"You're eating this one way or another," he said to her from the doorway with a smirk on his face. "Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way."

"Alright, alright. You win," she laughed. "I think I can stomach it now."

As Paul handed her the plate he'd made with french toast and eggs she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "I know I look like the hottest of messes right now but I love you so much for being so wonderful to me."

"You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on."

"Even right now?" she asked cynically.

"Clare you could never change how I look at you. You were drugged by an asshole after an emotionally difficult week and you still are the only girl who could turn my head."

"Paul," Clare called his name as she grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to her. "I just...I think I need to tell you that, well," she sighed out her frustration at how difficult this sentence was for her. "I don't want you to think that anything happened when I was with James. We didn't have sex."

Paul curled his lips up into a supportive yet slightly relieved smile. "I know."

"You - you do?"

"You don't love him. So yeah, I know. I trust you."

"I trust you," she echoed back his sentiment. Clare took a small bite from her plate and let out a little moan. "Yeah I needed this. This is good." She looked at Paul who seemed to be rushing through his plate. "Whoa, slow down there. You're gonna choke!"

"I have to get going babe. But look, can you do something for me?"

"Of course, anything."

"Can you meet me down at the arena after practice?"

"The - yeah," she stuttered out confused. "Why, is everything alright?"

"Yeah I just thought it'd be nice. I want to show you something."

"Show me something?"

Paul let out a playful sigh and pretended to be annoyed. "Would you just trust me."

"Alright. I'll get all showered up and pretty and I'll meet you."

"You're sure you're okay to drive?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I feel a lot better today, thanks to you."

Paul leaned in and let out a little moan as his lips grazed against hers. "Take your time. If you don't feel up to coming down then call me and let me know."

"I'll be there," she whispered against his lips before he pressed his own to hers.

***

Clare made good on her word and crawled out of bed to take a shower. She still felt a bit disoriented but compared to the day before she was a hundred times improved. She did her best to meet Paul at the arena for the time he requested her to be there and when she walked in she was pleased to see him waiting for her.

He walked over and took her by the hand as he lead her in and handed her skates over to her. "Up for it?"

"Sure, just take it easy on me."

"I'll do my best," he flirted as he leaned down to put his own back on.

"So what's all this about anyway?" she asked as they stepped out onto the ice. They were the only two there and this private romantic moment he'd taken the time to set aside for her meant more than he could know.

Paul held her hand and took the lead skating her around the ice. When he nonchalantly skated them over to the front of the team bench. "Look up there," he pointed into the empty seats somewhere up behind the bench.

"Okay," Clare tried to figure out what he was pointing to. "What am I looking for?"

"Well," Paul started. "I want to tell you a story."

"Okay. Tell me."

"A long time ago, years ago, I was skating around here before a game for warm ups. I was pretty new to the team coming from Jersey and so I didn't know everyone yet."

"Alright," Clare nodded urging him to continue as he twirled her in a circle.

"I was still with Jess, mind you, so it wasn't like I was available. But I looked up in the stands just, ya know, to look, and I see this beautiful girl. She catches my eye and makes my heart race a little faster - something I'd never experienced before. But, I don't know her and like I said, I have a girlfriend. So it is what it is. All I know is I've never been captivated by someone like that before. Anyway, I shake it out of my head and tuck it away. Then fate steps in. After the game I'm down in the locker room and I see this same girl come through the doors and my heart kind of does a double beat. But then I see this girl run into the arms of my new teammate, my new friend. And I swallowed and kind of dropped my head because I also see the rings on her finger and realize exactly who it is."

Clare nodded and fought back tears as she knew full well that he was talking about her. "We hadn't even met yet."

"No, this isn't about the first time we met - because that didn't come for a while. This is about the first time I ever saw you and how I knew then that you were something. I never thought I'd be in this position, ever. I respected what you had with him but I hated him the more I watched him run around behind your back. I would have never even considered doing anything if he hadn't messed it all up. And you and I became friends - and Lord knows I did try my hardest to keep my distance from you - and the more I got to know you the more I fell for you, little by little."

Clare didn't know what to say as she looked at him flabbergasted. She gently rested her hand on his cheek and leaned up to kiss him.

"It took me until I was in my thirties to fall in love with someone the way it's meant to be. I never had that before..."

"I don't know if I did either to be honest. You've made me fall for you in ways I don't think I did for James."

Paul's lips curled up into a sweet smile when he heard her words. "You made me want to be a totally different person, a better person. I finally understood how Sid felt for Hannah - how it was supposed to be. It just made sense. People always said when you know, you know - and with you I just knew. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you and simply put...I love you."

"I love you too Paul," Clare breathed out with a smile she couldn't contain. Her heart was fluttering as he told her all these revelations. "Why are you so nervous?" she teased him as she could see it on his face.

"Well... I kinda need to ask you something..." Paul swallowed as he pulled away from her and dug deep into his pocket. "Clare," he said her name tenderly as he dropped to one knee. "Will you marry me?"