A Lifelong Promise

After congratulating Paul and Clare one last time, the doctor turned and left the new parents alone in the top notch post-delivery room. Clare cradled her little precious miracle in her arms and felt her tensions melt away when Paul tenderly kissed her temple. "How are you feeling?" he asked with such genuine concern and adoration it made Clare forget for just one second how much her body was hurting.

"Well," she let out a little laugh. "I don't think I'll ever go to the bathroom again. Every single muscle that holds me together hurts so much. But it's so worth it."

"You did fantastic and you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on," he said in pure honesty, yet trying to be as supportive as he possibly could. He knew he'd never feel the pain of child birth and after watching the delivery was glad about that.

Both turned their heads up when they heard a knock on their door. The nurse hesitantly opened it and asked if it was okay to come in and they both said it was. A young guy with a huge display of flowers made his way in and placed the vase down on the table next to Clare's bed.

"Congratulations," he said before he turned and walked out the room.

"Who are they from?" Clare wrinkled her brow and turned to look up at Paul who was just as curious as she was. "I don't know," he swallowed as he reached for the card.

Clare watched as Paul opened it and let out a sarcastic laugh. "You want to know what this says?" he asked as he turned to face her.

"I do. Who's it from babe?"

Paul flickered his eyes down to the card and read it aloud. "Mr. and Mrs. Martin - congratulations on the new addition. I hope you are happy as a family." He turned to Clare again. "It's from James."

Clare swallowed and took a deep breath to keep herself calm. "That's very nice of him," she said begrudgingly. "I don't want to talk about him."

Knowing what had transpired between himself and James when Paul had arrived at the hospital, Paul felt in his gut that for the first time - maybe ever - James was actually being sincere. "I think this was him trying to do something nice."

"I don't care." She wasn't about to budge with how angry she felt towards James, she didn't want his name to be spoken in front of her baby girl and she was focused on leaving him in her past.

"Enough about that," Paul said as he stood up and let out a deep breath. He was exhausted from the emotions of the night. "Can I get you something? What do you need babe?"

"Ummm," she looked up trying to actually get her thoughts straight. "Did you bring me a change of clothes or anything?"

"Honestly I didn't. When I got the call I ran out the door I don't even know if I closed it behind me. I don't want to leave you but I can call someone and see if they'll pick it up for us."

"Whatever you want to do baby, it doesn't matter to me. Make sure you have stuff for yourself too. You know what I want? I haven't had a turkey sub since I found out I was pregnant. Doctor's orders and all. Can you get me the best sub I will probably ever have in my life? I'm so hungry."

Paul smirked as he looked at her making this hilarious and adorable request. "Anything for you my princess," he whispered as he leaned down and gave her a sweet kiss. He then looked down at the sleeping little child in her arms and smiled wider before kissing his daughters soft cheek. "Let me make some calls, I'll be back in a flash. Get some rest baby. You need it."

***

Clare had been doing her best and giving absolutely all of herself in the week since they'd brought little Ava home. She was up every few hours pumping despite the fact that her baby was seemingly programmed to sleep through most of the night. Paul had gotten paternity leave and missed a few days of practice and a game on top of the Thanksgiving break they had. He was the biggest support system Clare never knew she needed. He was up helping with feedings and changing diapers. He gave her the opportunity to sleep that she needed and took over all the household responsibilities. He cooked for her, cleaned up what she couldn't get to and was there for her whenever she felt frazzled or overwhelmed. He reassured her that she was a wonderful mother - and not only because she needed to hear it as every new mom does - but because it was overwhelmingly true. He fell more deeply in love with her as he watched her selflessly give herself for their child.

Clare wasn't quite at her pre-baby weight yet considering it'd only been a week, but she definitely wasn't fat. She had swelled up for a good few days after delivery - and would have panicked had she not been warned it would happen - but the water weight quickly fell off and she wasn't far off from her regular shape. The thing about that was Paul couldn't care less - he barely noticed. She'd been running around in her sweatpants since they'd brought Ava home from the hospital and he still was enthralled by her. He was on his knees every morning and every evening thanking the Lord above for blessing him with such a beautiful family, and unsure of what he'd done to deserve both the women who owned his heart.

Clare was sitting on the couch breastfeeding Ava and Paul was in the process of ordering some food from one of their favorite restaurants when they heard the doorbell ring.

"Are you expecting anyone?" she looked up at him with her baby on her boob.

"No," he shook his head. "And I know it isn't the food yet. If it is they're getting one hell of a tip."

Clare let out a frustrated sigh. "I really...I'm not in the mood for visitors right now. I know that sounds really mean but I'm just exhausted and I look like crap."

"You don't look like crap. You might feel like crap but for having just had a baby, you look amazing. You're a natural my love," he said with a wink. "I'll get the door and I promise I won't let them stay long. Okay?"

Clare nodded her agreement as she watched her husband walk to their front door. When he opened it, he immediately paused and stopped himself from opening it all the way. She could see him shaking his head but couldn't quite hear what was being said before he stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind him.

"I don't think you should be here," Paul growled at James who was standing in front of him as humbled as he'd ever been.

"I'm not here to be a dick, alright. I even brought a gift."

"She doesn't want to see you."

"I know that," James nodded. "But I owe her an apology. What I did...what I said..."

"You meant everything you said. We both know you don't shy from being honest with how you feel - especially when you're angry."

"It still crossed the line. I mean, I know most of what I've done to you both since her and I split up has been over the line. I know that. And believe it or not I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if something had happened to her or the baby."

Paul pursed his lips and tightened his jaw as he listened to James continue to speak.

"Just let me see her. I want to apologize face to face. I promise, no funny business. If I cross the line you can kill me in the middle of the living room."

Paul inhaled slowly and seriously contemplated the request that was laid out in front of him. Paul wasn't stupid - he knew Clare would be pissed if he let James step foot in the house. But part of him knew that this apology wasn't just something James needed to say - it was something Clare desperately needed to hear. "Fine. You have five minutes. That's it. Are we clear?"

"Yes, we're clear," James nodded his head and inhaled deeply, holding his breath as Paul opened the front door to let him in.

Paul saw Clare's face when she laid eyes on James and he instantly tried to soothe her. "James wants to talk to you for a minute. I think you should hear him out."

"No," Clare adamantly shook her head. "Get out."

"Clare," Paul glided over and sat down next to her resting his hand on her thigh. "It's okay. Try to calm down for five minutes and listen to him. You need this." Her labor was so traumatic for her that Paul knew this was something that was vital to her moving on from it.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes and let out a deep sigh as she sat up straighter on the couch as far away from where James would sit as physically possible.

Paul stood behind Clare for support, not to intimidate James, and rested his hand gently on her shoulder. She lifted her hand and delicately held his fingers with hers as she braced herself for this conversation.

"I brought a gift," James held out the little bag for Clare to take but she didn't budge. "C'mon Clare, please take it."

When she finally budged and took it from him she hesitantly opened it to find she was pulling out a teeny tiny Penguins jersey with Paul's name and number on the back. "I know she probably already has one but babies go through clothes so quick - or so I hear."

Clare's eyes watered and she looked back up at him to see his were doing the same. She'd finally softened a little and was wiling to hear whatever he wanted to say to her.

"Clare I know I did a lot of wrong to you. I've apologized many times and still screwed up, still went out of my way to hurt you. I've put you through so much, and I see that now. I mean, when we were...I saw you at what I thought was your most vulnerable. But seeing you in the grocery store last week, your water broken, in complete panic and such fear and..." James looked down and shook his head. "I'm truly sorry for everything."

Clare sniffled back tears and wiped her eyes. "Thank you," she breathed out sincerely. She didn't realized until she actually heard it from James how much Paul was right: she did need to hear this apology.

"I won't pretend I don't still love you or tell you that wasn't why I behaved the way I did. It hurts, I see now how much I hurt you when I ran around behind your back and did everything to you that I did. I won't tell you that I wouldn't take you back in a second even with his baby," he glanced up at Paul, "sorry man."

Paul glared at him but said nothing as he kept his hand on Clare's shoulder.

"I just felt so badly like I needed to apologize to you for what I did. I could have hurt you or the baby and if I had been responsible for that...I couldn't live with myself."

"I appreciate that," Clare said softly as she looked down at Ava, who had just finished her meal. "Would you like to see her?" Clare asked after a few second delay.

James looked back at her and swallowed before nodding his head. "Sure."

Clare gently turned the baby towards James and let him see her. He stared at her with such pain in his eyes it actually got to Paul. "She's beautiful Clare," he breathed out. "Just like her mother."

Clare's lips curled up into a smile as she fought back more tears. "Thank you."

James kept his eyes locked on the child he never got to have with his ex-wife before shaking himself out of his inner hell and looking up at all three of them. "I should probably go. Leave you guys to do whatever it is new parents do."

Clare nodded her head and looked at him with such sincere appreciation, he knew she accepted his apology. He knew the faces she made, what they meant and how she felt. He reached over and shook Paul's head. "Congrats man."

Paul patted him on the shoulder as he escorted him to the door. "Thanks. That was something she needed. Thank you for stepping up."

"Yeah," James sighed. "If only I had done it a long time ago." He looked at Paul one last time before turning and heading back to his car. "I'll see you at the rink man."

Paul inhaled and let out a deep breath before walking back inside by his wife. "Are you okay?" he asked gently unsure of where she'd be emotionally. He knew her hormones were already running wild and she cried at the drop of a hat to begin with.

"I am," she said as she sniffled back tears. "I really needed that. I didn't realize how much anger I was holding onto."

Paul kind of smirked and wiped her tears away. "I know. I hope you feel better now, not worse. I think he feels bad and he means it. I'll never trust him but I do forgive him. I hope you do too, I don't want it to eat at you anymore."

"I know," she nodded her head as she placed Ava down in her little swing. "It's in the past now. I feel like he finally let it go - that's the difference between this apology and every other one he's ever sold me." She leaned into Paul and nuzzled into his strong chest as he held her close to him. "Thank you for taking care of me. I don't think I would have been willing to hear him out if you hadn't encouraged it. You're not only an incredible husband, but the best dad in the world. I just feel so blessed. Even after something as traumatic as...well, basically everything James has put me through, I still have so much more good in my life. You're the best thing to ever happen to me...well, aside from this little cutie," she nodded down towards the sleeping baby and pressed harder into Paul as she looked up into his eyes. "I love you so much."

"We have so much in our lives to look forward to and I wouldn't want to spend a second of it with anyone but you."

"You wanna know what the best thing in the world would be right now?" she looked up at him seductively.

"What's that?"

"A nap."

Paul couldn't help letting out a laugh at her confession.

"Let's bring her up in our room and put her in her crib and take a nap together. I know you're tired too and I sleep best when your arms are wrapped around me."

"I think I can manage that," he said as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.