A Lifelong Promise

It didn't sit well with James that Clare wasn't there. He found himself looking up in the crowd for her even though he knew he wouldn't find her. There would be no rest for his nerves because he wasn't going to get the chance to see her face to face either-- they were heading out on a trip for two days and he wouldn't see her until they got back. There was no chance to ask her why she wasn't at the game or find out just how angry she was, he was going to be forced to succumb to phone calls and texting.

The problem was that James wasn't ready to acknowledge his mistakes and his shortcomings, he was ready to lose his cool at Clare for not being there for him. When the game was over he tried to call Clare but was unsuccessful. He tried again before getting on the bus but this time it went straight to her voicemail. Paul walked by him to get on the bus as James was leaning against the wall shooting Clare a nasty text and when he laid his eyes on his teammate he did a double take as he felt the frustration and anger boil up again.

"Hey," James called to Paul clearly pissed off and Paul slowed at the sound of his voice.

"What?" he turned to look at James and asked not in the mood for his bullshit.

"What did you say to her?" James asked in an accusatory tone as he walked towards Paul.

Paul shook his head confused. "Are you blaming me for her not being here--because I don't see the connection."

"You said you ran into her, you guys had a little pow wow-- you told me she wouldn't be here and she wasn't. So what'd you say to her? Did you tell her I'm a cheating asshole? Because I can't even get her on the phone."

Paul smiled to himself but made sure not to make it known to James; he was happy Clare was standing her ground. "I didn't tell her anything. I just felt bad she was so upset, like I told you before."

"And you didn't tell her anything to make her not want to come tonight or talk to me?"

"Nah man," Paul shook his head with a clear conscious. "You did that on your own."

"Well she can't avoid me forever. We'll talk about this when I get back."

"Talk about what?" Paul asked completely taken aback with James tone of voice. He could tell that James still wasn't getting it, or didn't want to.

"Her not coming or fucking answering the phone-- these games she's playing are a load of shit."

"Waiiiiitttt a second," Paul cut him off in complete disbelief. "You're telling me that you totally stood her up for a date you had and you're more focused and more pissed about the fact that she didn't come to the game?"

"Fuck yeah I'm pissed," James spat back. His eyes were ice cold and Paul couldn't stop shaking his head in disbelief.

"What happened to you man?" Paul asked as he looked at him with a wrinkled brow and slowly shook his head. James was almost unfamiliar to him anymore so he could only imagine how Clare felt.

"What?" James asked defensively.

"You weren't like this with her. There were guys who did whatever behind their girls backs-- you weren't one of them. You were one of the very few who walked the line. The guy I knew would take a bullet before taking his eyes off her." They had kind of an unspoken policy in the locker room amongst themselves not to talk about what others did behind their girls backs. It was a poorly kept secret that most fooled around in some capacity on their women and they had become somewhat immune to it; had a skewed moral compass to some degree, but there were those who did the right thing and didn't cheat. Crosby loved his wife and never thought about it, Fleury loved Vero and James...well, he used to fit in that category but somewhere along the lines he changed. Paul wasn't married, had his fun with women whenever he wanted to and didn't feel much conviction because he wasn't going home to anyone. It never really fazed him to see guys cheat because he saw it so often, but seeing how different James used to be with Clare and how much he used to fight to do the right thing, this bothered him because he knew Clare didn't deserve it and it was visibly breaking her heart.

"Doesn't mean I don't love her anymore," he stuttered out as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. James felt a pang of conviction slice into him but he was still too prideful to accept his wrongdoings. He simply didn't want to see it because it would hurt too damn much-- at least that was Paul's take on it. "Not like it's your fucking business anyway."

"I don't know," Paul sighed out. "It isn't my business, isn't my relationship-- I realize this. All I know? I'd give up the shit I do for fun if I had a wife like that at home," he said confidently not caring what James thought as he walked away to the bus and didn't turn back. He shouldn't have cared-- but as much as James had gotten ribbed for being so faithful to Clare before by some, truth was Paul secretly liked seeing guys who were willing to do the right thing and go against the stereotypical expectations people had for them.

***

James hadn't talked to Clare since he'd been on their road trip. She didn't answer his phone calls or text messages and she certainly didn't call him on her own. The more she rejected him the more pissed he became. He wasn't used to her pulling away from him. She got angry with him and they had their share of fights over the years but he was always able to persuade her into forgiving him rather easily. This time felt different.

After their first night, after the game, there were those who chose to go out-- James was one of them. Paul was too. It was beginning to grate on Paul's nerves more when he watched James flirting with girls at the bar, dancing close with them knowing he had every intention of going to bed with at least one. It didn't ever make him think anything of it before, but now he couldn't help but picture Clare heartbroken back home while her husband lived it up whenever he felt like it and completely disregarded and disrespected her feelings.

Paul was busy chatting with a girl of his own interest at the bar but couldn't keep his head from turning to watch James as he danced with another. Paul wanted to keep his focus on the girl standing in front of him but every time he looked at his buddy he shook his head in disgust. He couldn't figure out why he was so irritated with James; Paul was almost accustomed to seeing James behave this way after seeing it happen for so long at this point, but it was different now. When he watched James grab the girl by the hand and lead her out of the club, Paul pursed his lips and breathed out in annoyance.

"I'm sorry," he said as he looked at the girl who was the object of his affection for the night. It was obvious he was bothered by something and she could see it too. "I'm gonna have to go and call it a night."

"Are...are you sure? Alone?" she asked hopeful, not understanding why he was rejecting her.

Paul nodded his head and took in a deep breath of air, "Yeah," he said as he released it slowly. "Sorry again, good night. It was great meeting you."

Paul walked out the bar clearly flustered and did the thing his married friend couldn't do-- he went back to his hotel room alone.

***

Clare couldn't keep her mind off her husband while he was away. She was dying to talk to him and picked up the phone to call him more times than she wanted to, but she wouldn't allow herself to make the call. She was so angry with him, so hurt and broken hearted that it was the perfect motivation she needed to back away. He'd blown her off and it was clear by the messages that he left her that he wasn't really sorry. He was more upset with her for not being at the game than he was apologetic for screwing up so badly. His ignorance made it easy for her to ignore him in every way he attempted to contact her.

When the doorbell rang Clare raced downstairs to see who was at her door. When she opened it she couldn't help but immediately draw her eyes to the huge display of flowers in the man's hands.

"Sign please," The delivery man demanded with a stoic demeanor as he held out a pen for Clare to take.

After she signed her name, Clare took the vase in her hands and pulled it inside with her. "Thanks," she said as she closed the door and smiled wide the entire way to the table. She searched for a card, something that held James' apologetic words, but there was nothing. No card. No declaration of love. Just her name and address. Clare thought it was odd, but didn't really care. James put forth the effort and that was more than she expected-- all she wanted was for him to show he still cared. The flowers themselves were beautiful and vibrant, and every time Clare looked at them she couldn't wipe the grin off her face.

***

When James walked through the door he was prepared for a fight with Clare. However, a look of confusion quickly overtook his face when he realized he smelled a delicious home-cooked meal coming from the kitchen. He took a few slow steps toward it when a vivacious Clare burst through the kitchen and ran to him, throwing her arms around him and squeezing him tight. "Hey baby," she cooed as she melted into him.

"Hey..." he said unsure of what to do. He wasn't expecting a friendly reaction from her but here she was jumping into his arms like she always used to do.

"Can we just forget all the crap that happened? Can we just kind of start with a clean slate?" she asked as she pulled back and looked at him with pleading eyes and breathed him in. "I love you, I just want to be happy together."

James slowly nodded his head trying to absorb her amazing greeting. "Yeah," he breathed out barely audible. "Yeah," he said again with more authority as he pulled her into him for another embrace and buried his head into her shoulder as he gave it a small kiss. "I love you too," he whispered into her ear.

"Thanks for the flowers by the way," she breathed into his ear. "They're so beautiful and I love you for sending them after everything that happened."

James wrinkled his brow, took a deep breath in and flickered his eyes over to the table where he saw the huge vase of flowers sitting on it. With his arms still wrapped around her and her head nuzzled in his shoulder it was easy to give a confused look without her noticing. "Mmm," he said with a quiet voice, his eyes still locked on the flowers. "Yeah...you're, uh, you're...welcome."

Clare pulled back with her arms still wrapped around his neck and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "I made you dinner, I know you're probably hungry, and I was hoping... maybe you could take me into the bedroom for dessert," she said with a sparkle in her eyes. "We need to make up." She wanted to move forward and stop being so unhappy in her marriage, and she desperately wanted to believe he'd turned a corner as well.

James swallowed before giving a nod as he was still trying to wrap his brain around everything that had happened since he walked through their front door--to say he was confused was an understatement. "Smells delicious baby, thank you," he said with a somewhat raspy voice as he let her take him by the hand and lead him into the kitchen. "You're just...so amazing," he said softly and sincerely as he lightly rested his hand on her butt as she pulled dinner out of the oven and made their plates. "By the way," he looked at her with a devious half-grin when she stood up and faced him, "I can't wait for dessert."