The Summer I Grew Up

I think I've been like this for days now, falling asleep at 4pm, waking up at 9pm then being up all night, alone and not knowing what to do. I crept down the stairs of my house trying not to alert anyone that im awake. As i ese down the stairs, my attempt to be unnoticed failed because everyone was downstairs. "Wow, you're awake?" I didn't respond. " whats wrong with you?" "Nothing" i said. Even though i knew what what was wrong, i kept it to myself to avoid another lecture. The longer i stood in my tiny kitchen, the more i realized that i wasn't sure of what i wanted. Both what to eat, and in my life, weird. I always had a pre-conceived notion of how things in my life would go, wether it was one of those that i planed, or a sudden burst motivation that i often got at 2:30am. The longer i stared at the strawberry jelly in the door of the fridge, the more my mind raced. It bothered me that jelly, the sticky sweet substance i drowned my toast in, was triggering me to doubt myself. "Hey,you gonna get something or leave the fridge open?" I just stood there,my mind going 1000 miles a minute. I let the fridge slow to a close. The thing that amazed me the most about myself is how quickly my changed subjects. I went from worrying about what collage i was gonna go to, to being overly distraught over wether or not to have a hot pocket of bowl of cereal for dinner. I chose the cereal.