Will You Let Darkness Fall?

[Josh's Point of View]

"It’s not like I hate the kid, you know?” I mumbled, staring down at my lap. “We just didn’t get off to a good start.”
“That doesn’t give you the right to treat him like shit.” Mike muttered.
“If anything, I’m pissed because we got off to a bad start. I had too much to drink and shit happened. When I tried to apologize, he told me to fuck off and I didn’t appreciate that.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, I wasn’t going to back down.” I trailed off, looking away.
It was after the show.
The stagehands and roadies were tearing the sets apart and cleaning up. The rest of my band was talking with a few lingering fans.
I had been planning on signing a few things, but Mike Fuentes had grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away.
We were currently sitting on his bus, just talking.
“Why the fuck would you do something like that to Oli?!” he had demanded, anger clear in his brown eyes.
Honestly, I didn’t know why I did that.
I was angry and a little buzzed. I saw the opportunity, and I took it without thinking.
Now Vic and Mike were pissed off at me, but Mike actually had the self-control to talk to me.
Sitting here and thinking about Oli’s crestfallen face, painted a new picture for me.
Fuck, I had messed up.
“Well, I hope you actually hate him because he’s not going to glance your way anymore. I wouldn’t expect Vic to either.”
“I know.” I sighed.
Before he could say anything else there was a knock at the door.
"It’s unlocked!" Mike called out, still staring at me.
The door opened and one of the members of Bring Me The Horizon stepped on, looking a little pale and disoriented.
"What’s up, Lee?" Mike asked, glancing at him worriedly. "Do you need to sit down or something?"
He shook his head, seemingly unable to find words.
"Oi, do you have a lighter?" he asked, patting his pockets and pulling out a cigarette.
"Only if you hand me one." Mike agreed with a smile.
They traded off and Mike was messing with the almost empty lighter when Lee spoke.
"Thanks." he nodded, letting out a calming breath of smoke. "Anyway, Vic wanted me to tell you he’s on the way to the hospital with Oli."
"What?!" Mike shot up, his eyes widening in concern for his older brother.
"Whoa, mate!" Lee backtracked. "Vic’s fine! It’s Oli who’s fucked himself up."
"What happened?" I asked, unable to contain my curiosity, at the same time Mike asked, "Is he alright?"
"He’s breathing." Lee joked, exhaling another round of the light colored smoke. "The imbecile fell or something and had a really long cut down his arm."
The façade was fading as worry began to set in Lee’s eyes. “There was a lot of blood…” he trailed off. “Anyway, he didn’t want to cause a scene with an ambulance or anything - though your brother was freaking out, and Matt agreed to drive them to the closest hospital because that cut is gonna need stitches.”
"Well, fuck." Mike mumbled under his breath, quietly enough that Lee didn’t hear him and I barely could. "I’m willing to bet that’s not what happened."
"What?" I accidentally asked, still curious.
His eyes shot up and met with mine. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, he whispered, “Nothing.”
"Alright…"
"Anyway, what are we still doing here?" Mike asked, grabbing two jackets from the back room. "Let’s see how Oli is doing, and I need to make sure my brother’s okay."
"Sure."
We clambered onto someone’s car, Mike sitting on my lap because the vehicle was one seat short.
“So, what happened?”
I don’t know who asked, but I think his name was Jona.
“Fuck, if I should know.” Curtis grumbled, peeling down the freeway. “The idiot fell and cut himself against something, and he refused to tell anyone. Apparently, he couldn’t get it to stop bleeding and called Vic for help.
At least, that’s the explanation Vic gave me when him and Matt were rushing him into the car.”
“There was a lot of blood…” Lee whispered again.
“I don’t know how the fuck we missed that when he walked in.” Curtis shrugged. “He was nearly passing out when Vic got to him.”
“Fuck…” I mumbled.
It seemed that everyone had forgotten I was there, probably because Mike was sitting on me and he was covering me.
“Why do you care?” Matt Nicholls asked, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve been a complete asshole to him.”
“That’s just how our relationship is.” I lied, cracking a smile. “We just try to annoy each other to wit’s end.”
“Oh, like me and Oli!” Lee started laughing.
“Or me and Vic.” Mike added, hesitantly going along with the lie.
Thank God.
“Yeah.”

“We’re here!” Curtis announced, pulling into a parking space in front of a boring-looking building.
“I’m going to look for Vic.” Mike muttered, pulling out his cell phone and calling his older brother.
Walking inside, he glanced towards the hallway that led to the Emergency Room, catching the eye of a nurse.
“Can I help you?” she asked, smiling brightly.
“Uh, we’re looking for Josh Franceschi?” Lee asked timidly. “He, uh, hurt himself and we just want to make sure he’s alright.”
She nodded, whispering something to the woman behind the front desk who started typing at the computer in front of her.
“Oh, Mr. Franceschi.” she tsked. “He’s currently getting stitched up, but you’ll have to wait a bit before seeing him.”
“Alright, thanks.”
It took over two hours of waiting before Mike’s phone started ringing with an incoming call from Vic.
“Hello?” he answered.
After a short conversation, he nodded and hung up.
“That was Vic.” Mike informed anyone who didn’t know. “Anyway, Oli’s been moved to a private room for various reasons and we can see him.
He assumed they’d forget to let us know.”
“Oh, okay.”
He stood up and we followed him into the elevator and down a hallway before stopping in front of a closed door.
“Wait, why the fuck did Oli get a private room?” Curtis asked, reasonably confused. “The kid had to get stitches, not a heart transplant.”
“I don’t know.” Nicholls shrugged, glancing at Mike. “He’s already been in the ER for almost three hours, what’s going on?”
Sighing, Mike answered. “They stitched the gash, but they had to give him an I.V. to keep him from passing out. They just took it out, and they want to keep him around to make sure he didn’t lose too much blood or anything.”
“Makes sense to me.”
Opening the door, we quietly filed into the room to find a tired and pale Oli sitting on the bed, absentmindedly kicking the sheets.
He was wearing a different long sleeve from earlier, one of the sleeves pushed up and a white bandage wrapped tightly around his arm.
“Oli, baby!” Lee cooed, laughing a little. “You need to watch where you’re fucking going, man!”
Oli smiled a little, the gesture not meeting his eyes.
“Hey, guys.” he croaked.
Glancing around the room, I noticed Matt Kean was leaning against the window. He was wearing a pair of sunglasses and his lips were set in a tight line, obviously upset over something.
Vic was sitting near Oli, shaking lightly and continuously rubbing his arms for a source of heat.
Mike noticed quickly, handing his brother one of the jackets he had brought.
Smiling appreciatively, Vic slipped it on and the shaking subsided.
“Are you guys doing okay?” Mike asked, the question mostly directed towards Vic, but Oli answered.
“I don’t think Vic’s had anything to eat since before the show, which was hour’s ago.” he hinted.
“Neither have you.” Vic hissed.
“Alright, alright.” Mike cut in. “Do you guys want anything to eat? Matt?”
“Can you bring me some water?” Oli asked, coughing a little. “I’m not really hungry right now.”
“You sure?” I asked, worried for some reason.
He glanced at me, slightly surprised and bitter. “I’m sure, Josh.”
“I don’t want anything right now.” Vic shrugged his brother off, reaching for Oli’s hand and spinning his bracelet.
Mike seemed a little hesitant, but let it go. “What about you Matt?”
Matt nodded, walking out of the room without a word. Mike and Lee followed, planning on grabbing food from the cafeteria downstairs.
“So, what happened?” Curtis asked, sitting down on the other side of Oli and running his fingers down the bandage.
“You know those metal boxes we have, where we store the instruments?” Oli asked with a light smile. “I was walking over a stack of them, wondering if I could do a front flip from them – like Beau Bokan can, and I slipped and scraped my hand down one of the corners.”
“Fuck…”
“I didn’t think it was that bad.” Oli shrugged. “It split open, but it didn’t start bleeding right away for a second. All I could think about was how it was going to scar pretty badly.
Anyway, I went to the back room, and when I tried to change shirts, it snagged on the fabric and that’s when it really started bleeding. I panicked and called Vic to help me.”
It was a little speech, perfectly rehearsed and delivered.
“You know, Lee and I were in the front of the bus.” Curtis reminded him. “You could have just yelled, mate.”
“I know.”
“Fuck, by the time Vic reached you, you were practically out cold. We could’ve at least put pressure on it so you wouldn’t bleed out while Vic came.”
“Well, that’s a thing of the past.” Vic mumbled, looking up. His eyes were red and swollen, tear tracks running down his cheeks. “We should just let it go and focus on the fact that he’s okay.”
“True.” Jona shrugged, picking at the sleeve of his shirt. “So, when are you getting out of here?”
“Uh…” Oli trailed off, looking at Vic.
“We’re waiting for a certain…doctor to come in and talk to him. She’ll let us know if he can go home or if there are further complications.”
“Further complications?” I asked.
I didn’t get a reply, but I assumed it was because Vic didn’t like me and didn’t want to talk directly to me.
Throughout the next few minutes, I couldn’t help but wonder about Vic’s tone of voice. He didn’t seem entirely relieved – even though he was.
There was a hint of sadness and…disappointment?
There was the same demeanor with Matt, only he seemed slightly angry and betrayed as well.
At that moment, the door opened and Mike came back with Lee and Nicholls. He handed Oli and Vic a bottle of water.
“Thanks.”
Lee and Matt were each holding a package of Twizzlers, chips, and an iced tea.
“God damn it, guys.” Jona laughed.
They shrugged, passing the snack food around. Everyone but Vic and Oli grabbed at least a handful.
An hour or two of mindless talking before people started yawning.
“Fuck, when is this doctor going to come?” Curtis wondered, checking the time on his phone for the fourth time.
Vic shrugged.
“I think I’m gonna head to bed.” Lee yawned, glancing at everyone with a pleading face.
“Yeah, me too.”
Everyone but Vic and Mike wanted to go home.
I was surprised Matt Kean wasn’t staying, but I didn’t question it. He seemed really tired.
“I think I’ll stay.” I decided.
“Alright.”
Matt handed Mike the keys to one of the cars and they all called out their goodbyes before leaving the room.
There was an awkward silence for almost thirty minutes before Mike noticed the quiet drumming of Vic’s fingers against the chair.
“Stop that.” he whispered, getting annoyed with the beat.
“Sorry.”
When he had stopped tapping, you could notice the way Vic’s fingers were shaking slightly, despite it being pretty warm in here.
“Are you alright?” Mike asked, worried.
Taking Vic’s hand in his, he watched the way it shook.
“Yeah.” Vic mumbled.
“He needs to eat, that’s what.” Oli muttered, clearly upset that Vic wasn’t listening to him.”
“Shut up.”
Mike nodded thankfully, standing up and taking his hand. “Come on, Vicky.” he pleaded. “Let’s grab something.”
“I want to stay with Oli.”
“Oli will still be here when we come back.” Mike assured, leading him out the door and towards the elevator.
“Unfortunately.” Oli groaned, leaning back.
“You brought this upon yourself.” Vic whispered, looking down.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Whatever.”
When they had left the room, Oli glanced at me with a curious expression. “No offense, but what the fuck are you doing here.”
“I was worried.” I answered, looking at him.
“Uh huh.” he mused. “No really, why are you hear? I don’t believe you actually care about me.”
“Well, I do.” I muttered awkwardly.
“Even after mentioning I should kill myself?” Oli shot back, angry tears forming in his eyes.
“What?” I yelled, bewildered. “I would never say something like that! I’m not that much of a dick. Who the fuck told you I said that?” I demanded.
“Some fan.”
I couldn’t help it.
I started laughing. “Oh my God, Oliver! Did you seriously believe some whiny little bitch about that? I would never fucking say a thing like that. I know I’ve been a cunt, but you were too. I wasn’t going to let you say the last word, but I wouldn’t say something like that!”
He kept silent, glancing out the night sky in thought.
His thin legs were curled up towards his chest, one bony arm wrapped around them. The bandaged one resting on a pillow.
His face was buried in his knees but I heard him sigh.
“What?” I asked, getting up and sitting on the edge of the bed with Oli.
“How does he manage to be so perfect?” he asked, still lost in his thoughts, a sad glint in his eyes.
“Who?” I asked, confused. This wasn’t what I expected him to say.
“Vic.”
“Uh, what?” I questioned, still confused as fuck.
He sighed again, gazing at me sadly. “Have you looked at him? He’s absolutely perfect.”
For some reason, that statement upset me.
I had suspected there was something going on between the two of them, but now it was basically confirmed.
“Oh…”
I could feel my chest tighten with…sadness?
Longing?
Jealousy?
I didn’t understand this feeling, and it seemed completely irrelevant. I didn’t like Oli, not in that way.
Fuck, I barely liked him as a person.
Maybe I was being cocky, and I wanted him to like me. You know, instead of putting all of his attention on Vic.
I don’t fucking know, okay? Emotions are weird as fuck.
“He can eat whatever the fuck he wants, and he stays really thin. Not to mention his hair always looks great.”
I couldn’t help but smile a little. “Oli, your hair is nice too. Not to mention you’re already thin as fuck.”
“No I’m not.”
Before I could retort, there was a sharp knock and the door was pushed open. At first I assumed it was Vic and Mike, but a woman with dark hair and a clipboard walked in.
She wasn’t dressed as a doctor, with the usual lab coat and stethoscope. She wasn’t even dressed as a nurse, in blue scrubs and sneakers.
Instead, he was wearing black skinny jeans and a floral shirt, a name badge clipped to the lanyard she was wearing around her neck.
“Amelia Wallace, M.D.”
At the least, she was a doctor. There was another word underneath her name, but I couldn’t read it.
Something that began with a P.
“Hello, Oliver Sykes?” she smiled, sitting down on a chair.
“Yeah…”
“I’m Dr. Wallace, but you can call me Amelia, if you’d like. I just wanted to talk to you about some things.”
“Alright.”
She barely acknowledged I was there and didn’t notice when I stood up and walked to the other side of the room.
I had meant to leave, but Oli’s demeanor had changed.
He had been staring at me with pleading eyes, almost begging me to stay. I didn’t understand why he suddenly wanted me around, but I didn’t leave.
“Could you tell me what happened?”
“I…cut myself.” he whispered, seeming incredibly uncomfortable.
“Was this a suicide attempt? Were you hoping doing it would solve what was going on in your life?”
“…no.”
“How do you feel, knowing you’re still alive?”
“I, I don’t know.”
Something clicked in my head, and I couldn’t help but wonder. Moving, I walked so I was standing on the other side of Oli.
I was facing Dr. Wallace and could fully see her ID now.
“Amelia Wallace, M.D. Certified Psychiatrist.”
“Do you think you could show me your other arm?” Amelia asked, signaling towards his unbandaged arm.
He shook his head, pulling the sleeve down further.
His hands were beginning to shake, and that’s when it all clicked in my head. He hadn’t fallen.
He did this to himself.
Now it made sense why Vic was upset.
“Why not?” Dr. Wallace asked.
“I, I just can’t.” he choked out, his breathing speeding up a little and his eyes widening in panic.
“Oliver, are you alright?” she asked.
He shook his head, and I took his hand, rubbing my thumb against his palm in an attempt to calm him down.
“Does this happen often?” she asked, scribbling something down. “Panic attacks like these?”
He nodded.
“Do you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder?”
“N-no.”
Humming, she scribbled something down. “I’m going to get you some water and something to calm you down, alright?”
Dr. Wallace left, leaving me alone with a trembling Oli.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” I whispered, rubbing his back. Wrapping my arms around him, I held him in a hug.
He seemed to relax and moved positions a little.
His sleeve rode up a little, showing me three angry cuts on his wrist, the welts red and angry.
Sighing, I sat up and glanced at Oli.
He was looking down, almost seeming embarrassed.
“You know,” I whispered, taking his hand and pushing up the sleeve. “People don’t seem to realize that you need to be in a lot of emotional pain to intentionally hurt yourself.”