Finding Atlas

It had been days since I had seen Atlas, much less talked to him. I threw myself into school and when I wasn't at school, I was hanging out with Delphine or trying to occupy myself at home. And if I couldn't find anything to do, I would lie in the backyard and try to think about anything but Atlas, because truth be told, he confused me and even worse, he terrified me. He terrified me with how open he was, he terrified me with how deep he was, he terrified me with how emotional of a person he was, and he terrified me because of the way he made me feel.

I didn't want to be romantically involved with him. I kept reminding myself of that, but the more I thought about it, the more I did want to be involved with him. And I couldn't have that. Falling meant failing. Falling meant being weak. I couldn't fall and I couldn't be weak.



The weather was cooling down quickly, and sooner than I wished, I was wearing sweaters and scarves and layering up. If there was one benefit to the coming of fall, however, it was that I went to Bardia's more often to warm up with their hot chocolate. Although I was still trying to keep my distance from Atlas, Bardia's was where I drew the line. I walked in and the door bell jingled behind me, and the moment I saw Alphonse behind the counter, a grin spread across my face. As I hugged the man behind the counter, he asked, "Ma belle, comment ça va? How is the family? I feel as if I will die before I see you again!"

"The family's, well, the family, you know? Mom's being Mom and Dad's being Dad." The lie escaped me before I could stop it, but could I really have told Alphonse what had been going on?

Alphonse offered me a knowing smile before saying, "You know, if you ever need to get away, you could always stay with me, Leonie has missed you like no other!" I laughed before shaking my head.

"No, no, it's all right! I've still got Grace to keep me anchored, so I'm all right for now."

"It'll always be an open invitation, chérie! The usual?" I grinned before I replied, "You know me all too well." As soon as he handed me my mug, I couldn't help but wonder where Atlas was. Despite my efforts to stay away from him, I couldn't help it if my mind drifted towards him.

"Say, Alphonse?" I asked hesitantly, the internal war between my head and my heart still raging on.

"Ouais? What is it?" As he turned to me, my head gave into my heart, possibly because the baby blues Alphonse had reminded me all to much of Atlas.

"Do you know where Atlas has been?" Alphonse's face fell somber as his eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head. "Sa mère est folle!" he exclaimed, more to himself. "He has been taking care of his sisters; I have had to call him in sick a few times. The poor boy is the image of selflessness!" Alphonse continued rattling off angrily in French when I left Bardia's, my destination already in mind.