Status: active!
Second Heartbeat
Change
I was on the porch when he found me. Found me dead in the eyes as I stared off in the distance as tears kept tumbling down one by one down my cheeks as the thoughts I fought to hide kept coming back.
“Melanie?” I felt the chills shoot through my body as I heard his deep voice behind me making this so much harder. I pulled the sleeves of my sweater further down my arms and closed my eyes to squeeze out the remainder of my tears. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes before getting up from my seat and turning around to finally face him. He looked at me and I could see the confusion cross his face as he noticed the moisture on my face. “Are you ok?” He said as he walked up to me and placed his hands on my arms. I looked into his hazel eyes a moment longer before dropping my head and walking around him to get back inside my apartment. I heard his footsteps as he followed me back to my room. “Melanie talk to me!” I ignored him as I pulled random articles of clothing from my drawers and stuffed them in a small duffel bag that was propped open on top of my bed. I started fixing the clothes to close the bag when I see him step up to me and put his hand on mine to stop me. He shifts my body so I can face him but I do everything against my will to look up at his eyes.
“Please just forget this, about us.” I say softly and I feel his hold on my hand loosen as he lets me go. I feel my tears start to build up again and before he can see me crying I leave him to go to my restroom. I flip on the light switch and grip onto the sink right in front of me as the tears come crashing down. I shake my head and wipe away the tears before grabbing what I need.
“Why are you saying this?” I hear his voice getting closer as he searches for me. He spots me and stands in the doorway, waiting for my response.
“I can’t do this anymore.” I say more to myself but I know he heard me clearly.
“Why are you being like this Mel, I thought we were happy.” I froze and slowly lifted my head up. I stared at my reflection in the mirror in front of me, a sight I couldn’t bare anymore. That person in the mirror wasn’t me; it was the person he made me become. I pushed through him and stormed back to my bed to put away the things in my hand in the bag and turned on my heels.
“You might have been happy but I haven’t been happy for the past couple of months.”
“Why?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore Matt. Just let it go please.”
“Melanie tell me.”
“What do you want me to tell you Matt?! That I feel stupid for falling for this and allowing myself to get feelings for you? That it kills me because no matter how bad I wish for something more to happen between us because I know that would never happen.”
“That’s not true.”
“How is it not? You love her and that’s that, you think I don’t see it.” I grabbed my bag and my car keys from my nightstand and walked to the living room knowing he was going to follow me.
“There will always be something between us. We have that connection and you know that, it will never go away.” I stopped at the door swallowing his words and slowly turned around. I caught sight of the tears forming in his eyes making me bite my lip. I wanted to just take back my words and hug him but I knew I couldn’t go on with this charade any longer. I felt a tear slide down my cheek and hit the top of my lip as they parted.
“You know I believed that too until I opened my eyes and realized that this was just lust and that’s all it ever will be.” I turned the door handle to my apartment and stepped out of the hallway just as I heard him protest behind me. I clutched onto the duffel bag in my hand and hurried to the elevator before he tried to stop me. The door opened and I stepped inside as I heard his footsteps approaching. “Goodbye Matt.” I said into the remanding sliver of his face before the door fully closed and I started to break down in the empty elevator.
“I’m going to get you!” I hear the man say as he runs after the little girl in front of him. I hug my body as I watch her light brown hair bounce behind her as she tries to get away from his outstretched arms. I shake my head as a smile forms on my lips at the shrill of laughter that now fills my ears from both the man and the little girl. I watch them as he now holds her in his arms and tickles her, making her giggle some more. I see the black, bear like dog jump up and down by the man’s legs in excitement as he tries to join in on the fun. I feel myself fill up with happiness as I watch the three, feeling the love in them radiate off their body in almost like a glow. I notice the man look up and in my direction before winking at me. I bring my head down as I feel my cheeks heat up at the thought of being caught but don’t stop from smiling. I look back at the man and notice him still looking at me with some interest in his eye. I see the smirk start to form on his lips before bringing the little girl close to her ear to share some secret. He kneels down to his knee to place her on the ground as he continues to whisper in her ear. The little girl lifts her head and looks at me with the biggest grin on her face before she starts running towards me. My stomach fills with what feels like butterflies as I see her getting closer and closer with the dog running right behind her. Before I get the chance to react I feel her little body crash into my chest and her arms swing around my neck as she hugs me tightly. I feel her stomach shake as the dog starts to attack us with his own version of kisses making us both laugh.
“Jack!” I hear the man say loud enough to make the dog stop. “Down boy.” The dog backs away from us and sits down before plopping down on the corner of my picnic blanket. I look up as I see the man now standing right in front of me, making my cheeks heat up once more as his eyes linger on me. I slightly bite my bottom lip and burry my face in the little girl’s hair as he sits beside me. The little girl lifts her head as she notices his presence and lets me go. We both watch her as she steps between us and grabs his right hand before taking my left hand. She joins our hands together and grins at us before walking away toward the Rottweiler who was now sleeping. She sits down on the ground besides him and rests her back on his body before bringing her little hands up to her eyes to cover them.
“Now you can kiss.” She says. I hear a nervous laugh leave my mouth before I slowly turn around to face him. I see his brown eyes stare into mine as we share a smile. I feel his hand cup my cheek and see him get closer to my face. I close my eyes and feel my lips part before feeling his lips on mine as he starts to kiss me. I start kissing him back and feel my body fill with the love I sensed before.
“I love you.” He whispers as we break away slightly. I open my eyes and look at him for a moment longer.
“I love you too.” I see a grin appear on his lips moments before he scoots me into his chest. He wraps his arms around my body and hugs me tightly before planting a kiss on my cheek.
“Do you love me too mommy?” The little girl says as she walks up to us.
“To the moon and back my little bean.” I tell her as I pick her up and place her on my lap.
“I love you too Kaylee.” He tells her as she moves her finger around the tattoo on my arm.
“I know.” She says simply without looking up from the tattoo. She hears us laugh and finally looks up at us to give us a smile. She shifts her body and flings her arms open before wrapping them around our necks. “I love you mommy.” She says, placing a kiss on my cheek. “I love you daddy.” She says, doing the same to him.
I turn to look at Eric who now had Kaylee sitting on his lap and I can’t help but feel so in love with my little family. I look down at my left hand that was still holding on to his and I feel the memories rush my mind as I stare at the engagement ring on my finger. Three years ago I never would have thought my life would have turned out like this, but I couldn’t be happier with the surprises that I’ve received after that night, when I left him.
I remember it like it was yesterday. When I left my apartment that day I didn’t know what I was going to do. I remember feeling like I was never going to be able to get out that sadness as I drove around town before finally stopping at my sister’s house. I remember shutting myself out of everything and crying till days on end until Eric had called me. I remember him telling me that he couldn’t stop thinking about me after our previous dates and he wanted me to be with him all the way in Oregon. I remember getting on that plane without a second thought and next thing I knew months had passed and we didn’t want to leave each other’s side. I moved in with Eric and not long after he asked me to marry him and I found out I was pregnant. It was all so rushed but it never felt so right. There was just something about Eric that I couldn’t explain; the way he looked at me, the way we talked, the way his slightest touch would send a spark all through my body made me realize that he was the one. He filled me with such force I never felt before and it wasn’t until he proposed that I realized what that was. If it wasn’t for Eric I don’t know in what situation I would have found myself after Matt.
“Melanie?” I felt the chills shoot through my body as I heard his deep voice behind me making this so much harder. I pulled the sleeves of my sweater further down my arms and closed my eyes to squeeze out the remainder of my tears. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes before getting up from my seat and turning around to finally face him. He looked at me and I could see the confusion cross his face as he noticed the moisture on my face. “Are you ok?” He said as he walked up to me and placed his hands on my arms. I looked into his hazel eyes a moment longer before dropping my head and walking around him to get back inside my apartment. I heard his footsteps as he followed me back to my room. “Melanie talk to me!” I ignored him as I pulled random articles of clothing from my drawers and stuffed them in a small duffel bag that was propped open on top of my bed. I started fixing the clothes to close the bag when I see him step up to me and put his hand on mine to stop me. He shifts my body so I can face him but I do everything against my will to look up at his eyes.
“Please just forget this, about us.” I say softly and I feel his hold on my hand loosen as he lets me go. I feel my tears start to build up again and before he can see me crying I leave him to go to my restroom. I flip on the light switch and grip onto the sink right in front of me as the tears come crashing down. I shake my head and wipe away the tears before grabbing what I need.
“Why are you saying this?” I hear his voice getting closer as he searches for me. He spots me and stands in the doorway, waiting for my response.
“I can’t do this anymore.” I say more to myself but I know he heard me clearly.
“Why are you being like this Mel, I thought we were happy.” I froze and slowly lifted my head up. I stared at my reflection in the mirror in front of me, a sight I couldn’t bare anymore. That person in the mirror wasn’t me; it was the person he made me become. I pushed through him and stormed back to my bed to put away the things in my hand in the bag and turned on my heels.
“You might have been happy but I haven’t been happy for the past couple of months.”
“Why?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore Matt. Just let it go please.”
“Melanie tell me.”
“What do you want me to tell you Matt?! That I feel stupid for falling for this and allowing myself to get feelings for you? That it kills me because no matter how bad I wish for something more to happen between us because I know that would never happen.”
“That’s not true.”
“How is it not? You love her and that’s that, you think I don’t see it.” I grabbed my bag and my car keys from my nightstand and walked to the living room knowing he was going to follow me.
“There will always be something between us. We have that connection and you know that, it will never go away.” I stopped at the door swallowing his words and slowly turned around. I caught sight of the tears forming in his eyes making me bite my lip. I wanted to just take back my words and hug him but I knew I couldn’t go on with this charade any longer. I felt a tear slide down my cheek and hit the top of my lip as they parted.
“You know I believed that too until I opened my eyes and realized that this was just lust and that’s all it ever will be.” I turned the door handle to my apartment and stepped out of the hallway just as I heard him protest behind me. I clutched onto the duffel bag in my hand and hurried to the elevator before he tried to stop me. The door opened and I stepped inside as I heard his footsteps approaching. “Goodbye Matt.” I said into the remanding sliver of his face before the door fully closed and I started to break down in the empty elevator.
3 years later- Present day
“I’m going to get you!” I hear the man say as he runs after the little girl in front of him. I hug my body as I watch her light brown hair bounce behind her as she tries to get away from his outstretched arms. I shake my head as a smile forms on my lips at the shrill of laughter that now fills my ears from both the man and the little girl. I watch them as he now holds her in his arms and tickles her, making her giggle some more. I see the black, bear like dog jump up and down by the man’s legs in excitement as he tries to join in on the fun. I feel myself fill up with happiness as I watch the three, feeling the love in them radiate off their body in almost like a glow. I notice the man look up and in my direction before winking at me. I bring my head down as I feel my cheeks heat up at the thought of being caught but don’t stop from smiling. I look back at the man and notice him still looking at me with some interest in his eye. I see the smirk start to form on his lips before bringing the little girl close to her ear to share some secret. He kneels down to his knee to place her on the ground as he continues to whisper in her ear. The little girl lifts her head and looks at me with the biggest grin on her face before she starts running towards me. My stomach fills with what feels like butterflies as I see her getting closer and closer with the dog running right behind her. Before I get the chance to react I feel her little body crash into my chest and her arms swing around my neck as she hugs me tightly. I feel her stomach shake as the dog starts to attack us with his own version of kisses making us both laugh.
“Jack!” I hear the man say loud enough to make the dog stop. “Down boy.” The dog backs away from us and sits down before plopping down on the corner of my picnic blanket. I look up as I see the man now standing right in front of me, making my cheeks heat up once more as his eyes linger on me. I slightly bite my bottom lip and burry my face in the little girl’s hair as he sits beside me. The little girl lifts her head as she notices his presence and lets me go. We both watch her as she steps between us and grabs his right hand before taking my left hand. She joins our hands together and grins at us before walking away toward the Rottweiler who was now sleeping. She sits down on the ground besides him and rests her back on his body before bringing her little hands up to her eyes to cover them.
“Now you can kiss.” She says. I hear a nervous laugh leave my mouth before I slowly turn around to face him. I see his brown eyes stare into mine as we share a smile. I feel his hand cup my cheek and see him get closer to my face. I close my eyes and feel my lips part before feeling his lips on mine as he starts to kiss me. I start kissing him back and feel my body fill with the love I sensed before.
“I love you.” He whispers as we break away slightly. I open my eyes and look at him for a moment longer.
“I love you too.” I see a grin appear on his lips moments before he scoots me into his chest. He wraps his arms around my body and hugs me tightly before planting a kiss on my cheek.
“Do you love me too mommy?” The little girl says as she walks up to us.
“To the moon and back my little bean.” I tell her as I pick her up and place her on my lap.
“I love you too Kaylee.” He tells her as she moves her finger around the tattoo on my arm.
“I know.” She says simply without looking up from the tattoo. She hears us laugh and finally looks up at us to give us a smile. She shifts her body and flings her arms open before wrapping them around our necks. “I love you mommy.” She says, placing a kiss on my cheek. “I love you daddy.” She says, doing the same to him.
I turn to look at Eric who now had Kaylee sitting on his lap and I can’t help but feel so in love with my little family. I look down at my left hand that was still holding on to his and I feel the memories rush my mind as I stare at the engagement ring on my finger. Three years ago I never would have thought my life would have turned out like this, but I couldn’t be happier with the surprises that I’ve received after that night, when I left him.
I remember it like it was yesterday. When I left my apartment that day I didn’t know what I was going to do. I remember feeling like I was never going to be able to get out that sadness as I drove around town before finally stopping at my sister’s house. I remember shutting myself out of everything and crying till days on end until Eric had called me. I remember him telling me that he couldn’t stop thinking about me after our previous dates and he wanted me to be with him all the way in Oregon. I remember getting on that plane without a second thought and next thing I knew months had passed and we didn’t want to leave each other’s side. I moved in with Eric and not long after he asked me to marry him and I found out I was pregnant. It was all so rushed but it never felt so right. There was just something about Eric that I couldn’t explain; the way he looked at me, the way we talked, the way his slightest touch would send a spark all through my body made me realize that he was the one. He filled me with such force I never felt before and it wasn’t until he proposed that I realized what that was. If it wasn’t for Eric I don’t know in what situation I would have found myself after Matt.