Just Let Me Go

Not many people ever hear those words from my mouth. "I love ya/you" is a phrase that seems to be overused in the world today, so I don't say it unless I REALLY mean it. Tony may not even have any feelings for me, which I'm glad about because he can do way better. WAY wayyyy better. But there's something in his eyes as he looks at me now, seconds after I "admitted" my feelings. I mean, that is what I'm feeling, right? I've never been loved, or in love, so I don't know what I'm feeling...Does this make any sense? Maybe?
"Anastasia, you are seriously the best friend I've ever had, even Vic doesn't get me like you do sometimes." Tony hugs me.
I hug him back, but my smile falters. So all I am and probably will ever be is his "best friend". Good, I can live with that. I hope...I mean, yeah I'd like to be more, but I don't think I'd be able to handle it, and he can do--like I said--better.
When he pulls away, his brows furrow together. "What's wrong?"
"What do you mean?"
He rubs his neck. "I dunno, you just seem upset about something."
I shake my head. "It's nothing."
"Uh huh."
"It is! Legit, there's nothing going on so, in fact, I have nothing to worry about."
"Are you sure? Because I mean....I don't like you being upset. No one does, but me especially."
Him especially? Why? Jesus, Anastasia, don't read too much into it. "Why?"
"It's hard to explain...I don't even fully understand."
"Okay." I turn around and begin to walk back into the house, but Tony grabs my hand. "What, Tone?"
"Anastasia, what did I say wrong?"
"What do you mean?"
"When you went to go back in...your face dropped. Like, you just looked defeated."
I shrug. "Just tired." And hurt that you can't explain anything to me because I feel like there's more to your "especially" me thing.
"Alright. Go in and nap. Vic's done lecturing."
"How do you know?"
His phone appears in my face. "You two can come back in now, Vic's done being a bitch. I REPEAT. He is done being a bitch. Can't wait to see you. LOVE YOU--Mike ;* "
I laugh harder than I should. "Awe, do ya'll have a fling going on?"
"Oh yeah, you know it."
"I knew it! How's the ass sex?"
This time, it's Tony's turn to laugh. "Ew, I cannot believe you just asked that! The fuck's wrong with you?"
"That good, eh?"
"Oh my God, Anastasia, stop it. I can't even...ugh, that's just so gross." He screams. I turn around and see him with his hands on his ears and his eyes closed. "IT'S IN MY HEAD. OF MY GOD I NOW HAVE THESE DISGUSTING IMAGES IN MY HEAD YOU BITCH! I SWEAR I WILL END YOU FOR THIS."
I run inside, down into the basement, and hide under the stairs. The guys look at me like I'm crazy, but I motion for them to stay quiet. Tony comes charging down the stairs, and they guys look at him like he's crazy, too.
"Where's Anastasia?" he asks huffing and puffing.
I cover my mouth to suppress the urges to giggle. Vic speaks up, "Dude, I was just about to ask you that."
"She didn't run down here?"
"Nope."
"You've gotta be shitting me."
"Ya know," Mike smirks, "I think I heard some footsteps upstairs. I'd go get that girl and pounce on that--"
Vic smacks Mike's head. "Don't even finish that, dude. I don't want to kill you."
Mike crosses his arms and pouts. Jaime sticks his tongue out at me, then quickly puts it away when Tony looks at him. As soon as Tony focuses back on Vic, Jaime does it again. Ah the perks of being behind a person who's looking for you. You get to fuck with them. I pick up a little rock that's by my feet and chuck it at his head, but I miss and hit Vic's face. Shit.
"Where the hell did that come from?" Tony looks around.
Aw fuck. I duck, and try not to giggle. Yeah, I giggle a lot around these douches.
"I have no clue, man." Jaime smiles, making his dimples pop out, which I love, and glares over in my direction.
"You guys suck at frickin' lyin'. Tell me."
"It came from a motha fuckin' ghost!" Mike yells.
"Anastasia, I know you're here."
"I told you, I think she's upstairs."
"Yeah, man, me too."
"Me three."
Tony looks at them all, then starts to walk up the stairs. Suddenly he stops. "Wait a second..." He gets on his knees and looks through the stairs' spacing. "Gotcha!" He quickly runs down the few steps, goes into the room behind the stairs, and grabs me. "You sneaky little bitch, thought I couldn't see you?"
"Well, dumbass," I squeal as he swings me around, "clearly you couldn't. You only got it because Jaime kept starin' back here, and I missed your head."
He gasps. "You were aiming for me?"
"Yesh."
"Okay, you two, stop acting all cute and shit and get your asses out here! Tony, we don't have to have THE TALK do we?" Vic calls.
"NO!" Tony yells dropping me on my feet. "NOT THAT TALK oh my God you people are disgusting when you talk about that."
Maybe my thoughts from a few days ago are wrong...maybe this WILL be a good summer. Hell, school isn't as bad as I thought it'd be.

Boy was my ass wrong.

WEDNESDAY:

I hold my bag tight. Something doesn't feel right...Everyone's been acting weird. I mean, don't get me wrong, this is the last day of school, but these kids aren't acting weird out of excitement--they're acting weird because of something else, something almost everyone, but me and the guys, know about. Lexie being the ring leader of the excitement.
"Anastasia, my it's been a while."
Keep going, keep going. Feet! WHY YOU NO MOVE?
"Thank you for staying with us all this time. I hear you're going with the boys this summer?"
Lexie steps out of the auditorium, her arms crossed. "Uh...yeah, yeah. I am."
"Bet you're gonna sleep with them all. Oh wait," She smirks. "You've done that already, haven't you?"
"Spit it out, you're trying to get some sort of reaction out of me and it isn't working."
"Come into the auditorium, then you'll know."
"No."
"Tisk, tisk, tisk. Girls."
People grab my arms, causing me to drop my bag. They drag me into the auditorium and I see the big screen's down. A bunch of people from our grade--even some from the grades above and below--sit in the seats. When I walk in, people begin to whisper and laugh...and point...
My anxiety begins to kick in. What's going on? What's going to happen? What are they laughing at?
"Attention, everyone, attention!" Lexie says loudly. ALL the attention's on her now. "Thank you. Now, we all know why we're here right? Right. Now Anastasia, how long have you been sleeping with the boys? Hm? From what I've gathered, quite a lot. Did Mommy's actions rub off on you?"
"Leave my mother out of this."
She slaps me. "Don't get snippy with me, young lady."
"Shove one up your vagina, bitch."
SHe kicks behind my knees. I fall. "Excuse me?"
"I think you heard me. Tell me, Lexie, why do you think you're so much better than me? Hm? I mean, you've gotten it in more times than I can count. I'm not the only one who thinks so. Remember Mike? Yeah, he told me you were a good fuck. And you wanna know what else? Thanks for scarring me. I really fucking appreciate it."
The look on her face is priceless. Had I had a camera with me, I'd take a picture. Sadly I don't. My fist connects with her face. She reels backwards, almost off the stage, but someone catches her. My hands are held again as I get a beat down. The people in the crowd just sit there staring, some laugh, and some look away.
Everything feels light...oh wait, they just let go of me. "Lets show her the video. Now."
Something clicks on, and light shines onto the screen. Mike. A very drunk Mike stands swaying slightly. With a beer in his hand, he smiles. "Anastasiaaaa? Yeah I know her! She's staying with us! The p-poor girl." His words slur together.
"What do you mean she's staying with 'us'?"
"What do you think it means, babe?" He winks. "She sleeps over a lot, that's for sure."
Everything in me breaks. This is because of MIke? I'm about to get embarrassed because of his drunk ass?
I get up and run out of the auditorium. People's cheers and hoots make me cringe. A hand slaps my ass when I bend over to get my bag, but I ignore it. I need to get out of here.
"Anastasia!"
It's Mike.
"Anastasia, wait!"
I twirl around. My fists clenched, jaw tense, eyes have tears...I'm about to blow. "What the fuck do you want, Michael?"
"I am so--"
"You saw the video?"
He nods.
"Did you see me get the shit beat out of me?"
He sighs. "No..."
"Michael, don't you dare lie to me right now!"
"I walked in just as they were finishing."
I edge closer to him. "Are you kidding me? Please tell me you are." His silence confirms it. "I can't believe you! Why would you do this to me? I thought you guys were supposed to protect me, but you just hurt me! How could you? I. Trusted. You."
I begin punching his arms and chest, clearly not strong enough because it isn't phasing him. Everything around me begins to spin. Tears pour down my face, but none of this stops me. I keep swinging and crying, until hands pry me from Mike. I'm lifted up. The world is so fuzzy... But the one thing I can be sure of, and trust, is the one carrying me.

Tony.