Just Let Me Go

~~~Tony's P.O.V.~~~

I help Anastasia off the roof into Mike's room, after we toss things inside it. Jaime, Vic, and Mike come rushing over, pulling us into a hug. Anastasia stiffens, but then relaxes--as if by force. I know her smile is fake, so why is she even bothering?
"Don't do that to us EVER again." Vic whispers in her ear.
I nod my head in agreement, hell, so does everyone else.
"Little girl, if you ever think I'm leaving you out of my sight, you're cray cray." Mike says.
She giggles slightly. "I'm not that little! Did you ever think that maybe you're just tall?"
"I have, but you're an itsy-bitsy girl!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
Jaime jumps. "Anastasia! What about me? Am I tall?"
She giggles even more. "Sureee, Jaime, whatever you want."
"I sense the sarcasm, but I'll take it!"
We all back away from her. She bites her lip nervously. An awkward silence overtakes the room's normally loud, almost obnoxious, noises. I tap my foot on the ground nervous as well. Okay, someone has to break the barrier here. Why not you, Tony? Ahhh, good idea, self!
"Hey, Anastasia, do you wanna go get some food or something?"
"Or something."
"Alright, we're gonna take your car since that's all I have here."
"Okie dokie!"
I reach for her hand, she welcomes my touch and slides her fingers between mine. The guys give me an encouraging look--especially Mike, who winks and gives me a thumbs up. I flip him off behind my back after me and Anastasia are out of his room. He can be immature, like he's five, I swear. But then again, I can be, too.
I open the car door for Anastasia, watching her slide in makes me realize that I've missed her. Weird, I know, but we used to drive with each other everywhere. Then Stephanie came in the picture....I sigh, close the door, and go to the other side of the car. God, I was so stupid.
"Where we goin', Turtle? Back to the aquarium?" She teases.
"Ha ha, you're so funny I forgot to laugh."
"Hey, I know how much you wanted to swim with the turtles, but you know that jumping into the tank wrong tank without permission isn't the best way to, right?"

~~~Anastasia's P.O.V.~~~

"How was I supposed to know that one would have the sharks?" He exclaims.
I laugh at his demeanor, he looks at me incredulously, then laughs, too. "Maybe because I was telling you not to jump in that one."
"Okay,I was in the moment, I didn't hear a single word you said, all I knew is that I was going to swim with turtles! TURTLES ANASTASIA!"
"Calm down there, kiddo, you're drivin'!"
"Hush, I drive this thing a hell of a lot better than you."
I open my mouth to protest, but he stops me, "You almost went into the person's garage across the street from me....and at that point you had the car for about a two months."
"Okay, you got me there."
My hand reaches for the radio, but Tony stops my hand. "We can't just forget tonight, Anastasia. We're going to talk about it."
And this is what I was afraid of.
"Just explain everything."
"Didn't Mike?"
"He explained part of it, but I need to know what was going through your head when he left."
I bite my lip. "Okay...I felt like he didn't hear me out, that I was going to have to deal with things by myself again, then I just started to feel alone, abandoned, and basically everything in the world. I thought about Lexie, Stephanie, and myself. Needless to say, that didn't help me. I hate myself a lot, Tone, and there are some deep rooted reasons as to why, but I'm not getting into that. Ever if I have my way. My past floated into my mind, tears flowed down my face, I was just a mess. Didn't want to feel a thing."
"And you thought that was going to fix everything?"
I nod.
"You could've always talked to me..."
"That's impossible, Tony, you were always with that bitch--sorry, but I'm being truthful--and she hated me, and made me feel worse about myself. I put up with her for you, but clearly you didn't see that...."
He slams his hand on the steering wheel. "Dammit, Anastasia, why didn't you tell me how she treated you?"
"Hit my wheel like that again, and you're done for." I change my pitch into a more harsh one. "Are you shitting me? Tony, I didn't want to hurt your feelings! I was putting up with her because I thought you were somewhat happy with her! Dear GOD!"
"Did you ever think that maybe I wasn't? That I was doing it to make you jealous?"
"Did you ever think that I'm not the jealous type? If you were so un-fucking-happy, then why didn't you end it with her?"
He stops the car and turns to face me. "Because the person I loved didn't want me! Had you told me that you loved me, I wouldn't have been with her!"
"YOU NEVER GAVE ME A CHANCE!" I scream, "I tried to, but then you walked out of the room during the tour. You stopped talking to me, so I figured that I fucked up and blew it! Tony, you have no clue what the hell I was thinking during those days--MONTHS ACTUALLY! Don't try to throw me to the dogs on this one, I'm not the only one at fault here!"
"Are you kidding me? You didn't talk to me either!"
"BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED!" I lose my temper and punch the dashboard. My hand aches, but I don't care. "Do you have any clue what I've been through? No, you don't! I don't know everything about you, but I knew you enough to give you your distance, and if you didn't want it, then you should've fucking told me! I was waiting for YOU to make the first move because all my life I had to!"
"THEN TELL ME WHY YOU'RE SO BROKEN!" He screams back, but a lot louder than I ever thought he'd go with me. "TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK I'M SUPPOSED TO DO TO MAKE IT BETTER! Because I'll be damned if I let you kill yourself anymore, Anastasia! Do you not realize how weak and frail you're starting to look? You starve yourself, harm yourself, and sleep a lot. That's not good for a person!"
"You think I don't know that? I know that I'm a fucking ugly bitch, that's why I starved. I'm a fucking mess, that's why I harm. I sleep to get away from all of it! But you, YOU were the reason I wanted to stay alive! I wanted to make sure that you got what you wanted in a girl, and that you'd be able to love her for the rest of your life and that she'd love you. And when I saw how Stephanie was, I couldn't leave. I was going to leave if she was a good person and shit like that, but she wasn't. I prolonged everything for you!"
"Stop thinking of other people for once in your life, Anastasia! It's okay to be selfish every once in a while!"
Tears fill my eyes. "I don't like being selfish! Making Vic listen to my problems, that was selfish. Staying at your places, that was selfish. I could've found a way to get an apartment, but no. I stayed with you guys so I didn't have to pay bills and because I wanted company. That was sure as hell selfish! Loving you and hoping that one day you'd come around, that was a fucking fantasy! And now that we both get each other, tell me what you fucking w--"
He crashes his lips into mine. When he pulls away, I break down. "I want you to be happy, to feel beautiful, to let me love you." He whispers. "I broke my promise, and I'll go to hell if I break it again. I left you, and I didn't realize it. Just let me in, I want to help. But you get that I can't help you if you don't let me, don't you?"
I undo my seatbelt and straddle his lap. I press my lips onto his, I want to feel better, his kisses make me feel better. But I can't do this. I stop and he wraps his arms around me, making me cry even more. Stop crying, you baby, you're okay. No.
" 'Stay with me,
baby stay with me
tonight don't leave
me alone
Walk with me
come and walk with me
to the edge of all
we've ever known.
I can see you there with the city lights..." He sings.
Kiss me Slowly by Parachute...I love this song. He knows it, too. But I can't hear this. I open my mouth and begin to sing a different anthem, time to change the mood,
" 'Hey, you're a crazy bitch
but you fuck so good I'm on top of it.
When I dream
of doin you all night...'"
He begins to laughs. "That's the most inappropriate song to sing right now."
I wipe my tears away and laugh. "I know, but I wanted to lighten the mood."
"Do you know how amazing you are?"
"No."
"Well, you're pretty damn amazing."
"Nice description."
"Thank you."
" 'Maybe I'm the one,
maybe I'm the one
who is a schizophrenic psycho.
Yeah.
Maybe I'm the one,
maybe I'm the one
who is a paranoid psycho.'"
" 'I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in things
I cannot win
you are the antidote that gets me by
something strong like a drug that gets me high..
What I really meant to say,
is that I'm sorry for the way I am..'" He looks into my eyes. " 'I never meant to be so cold..'"
I nod my head. "I forgive you."
"You hungry?"
"No."
"Youuuu sure?"
"Okay, just a little."
He chuckles and places me back on my seat. "Hang on tight, we're going to Olive Garden."
"OO how romantic!"
"Oh hush, you know you like it."
"I do."
"After we'll go to a movie."
"Okie dokie."

I got some fettuccine alfredo, same with Tone. Don't ask me what that movie was, I have no clue. I had my head buried in his chest for most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I like scary movies, but whatever that movie is...it's disgusting. Just...ugh.
"Come on, it wasn't that bad!"
"Did you not hear me scream? Of course it was!"
"Baby."
"Meanie!"
"Come 'ere."
He pulls me closer to him, and looks down at me with a smile. "What?"
"I just wanted to see how beautiful you are."
I roll my eyes. "How cute."
"You are."
"Ewww, you're all lovey dovey on me! Don't go down that road!" I break out of his arms. People stare at me as I run to my car. "FOLLOW MY VOICE TONY PERRY! DO YOU HEAR ME? DON'T GO TOWARDS THE DARKNESS! TONYYYY, TONNNNYYY!"
"I'M COMING ANASTASIA, KEEP TALKING!"
"JUST KEEP SWIMMING, JUST KEEP SWIMMING, JUST KEEP SWIMMING, SWIMMING, SWIMMING. OH! Here you are!" I laugh when he pops up in front of my face.
"About time." THe person going to the car next to us mumbles.
I stick my tongue out at him. "Well, blah, to you to, mister!"
Tony smirks.
"What?"
"You're a little troublemaker, aren't you?"
"One and only, bitch!"