Just Let Me Go

~~~Tony's P.O.V.~~~

Tell me she didn't just ask me that. Please tell me she didn't.
"Anastasia, what did you say?"
She pulls out of the hug and smiles. "Nothing. Nothing at all."
"You're lying. Did you seriously ask how much longer you're going to last?"
"No. Of course not. Why would I?"
I rub my face in my hands. She's frustrating me. "You're frickin' lying. I'm not an idiot. Don't you get that? I'm not."
"I know you're not--"
"Stop it! Stop lying to yourself, and most importantly, to me! I'm trying to help you and you keep pushing me out of the way. I promised you that I wouldn't leave, but how can I keep that promise if you keep doing this? Huh? Why the hell do you do this? There's nothing wrong with needing help! Especially in your situation."
"What situation?" Her voice rises. Seems like I'm not the only one with a short temper. "I'm fine! Why the fuck can't you see that?"
Damn. She's pissed. "Because I can see pass the shit! No one is fine when they get notes like this, and judging by your face, you've gotten others! Why didn't you tell me? Or Vic? I know how much you trust him! Why can't you trust me like that?"
"Maybe because I don't trust any fucking person! I barely trust Vic! I don't think you can understand anything about me at this point if you can't see that! Why do you think I keep my mouth shut up my feelings? I don't want to pour my heart out to people that are probably going to leave me in the end just like my other friends did!" Her eyes are filling with tears. "They left me when I needed them most, but they left me! They fucking left me and now I'm alone. I....I don't trust people because they told others my secrets! And Lexie? That bitch is the leader of the 'I Hate Anastasia' party! I've kept my mouth shut about that so Mike wouldn't have to hear about it and hate me! My mom is marrying this pig of a man who only uses her. I'm stuck with them and they hate me! They hate me and they don't care if I die or not. My mom has told me numerous times that she wishes Lexie--LEXIE--was her daughter because she's just 'so pretty and skinny' while I'm a fat ass! Why do you think I avoid eating? It's probably been a month since I ACTUALLY ate something, like a big meal. When I'm home I work out like a maniac just to avoid putting on weight!" She stomps her foot. "Do you know how frustrating it is to try and be accepted by everyone around you? They all hate me and I can't do a damn thing about it! I don't have high expectations for you guys because I know you're going to leave me eventually."
I look behind her and see the others are at least a good fifty feet away. Did they really stop following me? Nice. Real nice. Now I have to try to calm her down. She's a fucking raging beast and when you put two raging beasts together, everything turns to shit.
"WHY haven't you told us this before? Huh? Are you that hellbent on us leaving?"
"YES, Tony, yes! No one could ever like me because of the people in this school!"
"We like you! Don't you get that? WE DO!"
"Shut up! You think you do! Just wait a few days and then you'll realize you don't."
"NO! I'm not going to, and I don't plan to. But you know what? I'm sick and tired of your bullshit line, 'everything's fine'. No it isn't! And you know what? It's okay if everything is falling apart as long as you have someone to try to help you up if YOU fall! I want to be there, but you aren't letting anyone! I promise on my life that I won't hurt you, or leave you like those so called 'friends' did!"
She leans her head back and stares at the sky. I look up with her and see that it's about to rain. With a smile on her lips, she speaks, "Wanna know why I like the rain?" I open my mouth to answer, but she doesn't let me, "It's because I can get away with crying--cheesy, I know--but I can also feel free...like the rain washes me of my worries. It's the only time I don't have to keep myself together."
Suddenly it begins to pour. I grab her hand and begin to pull her towards the guys so we can get to the car, but she tugs back. "Sometimes I wish I wasn't here, Tony."
That catches me off guard. "What?"
"I wish I wasn't here, alive. I want to be the rain and bring joy to people like me. Those who find solitude."
"Don't you get that you bring me joy? Actually, you bring us all joy! I've never been happier than I am with you around!"
"You're saying it now, but soon you'll--"
"I'm not messing around, Anastasia, if you say I'll leave you or something stupid like that I WILL have to smack you."
"Go for it, I'm used to that shit."
What? What does she mean?
"Tony?"
"Yeah?"
I look at her, she's crying. "I don't want to go home...not tonight."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm late and they'll be mad. I'm tired of people being mad."
"Okay, okay, don't cry. You can stay with one of us."
"But--"
"No. You're staying with us and that's that. Now come on, lets get you to the car."
"Okay."
I wrap my arm around her shoulders to keep her "warm". At least, that's what I'd tell her. I'm only doing this so she can't get away. I'm not going to let her. Later on tonight I'm going to tell Vic what she said. And she'll be present.

~~~Anastasia's P.O.V.~~~

I let Tony lead me to the car. The other boys stay silent. I wonder if they heard anything. Hopefully not.
The car ride is awkward. No one speaks. Tony still has an arm around me, and I'm starting to wonder why. I'm not cold....completely. I've been colder, lets just go with that. Vic pulls up to Tony's house.
"Tony will get you some clothes, I think, if not I'll give you some of mine." Vic says.
"I got her covered, man. Anastasia, come on in."
I follow Tony out of the car into his house. It's nice. It also smells like yummy food. God I'm hungry....
"Mom? You home?" He shouts.
"In the kitchen, novio!"
He smiles. I love his smile, not gonna lie. It's adorable, and brightens up his face. "Come on!"
Tony grabs my hand and pulls me into the kitchen. His mom stands with her back towards us, and Tony kisses her cheek while peering over her shoulder to see what she's cooking.
"What took you so long, Tone? I was beginning to worry."
"Sorry, my friend, uh, Anastasia was having a bad day. Oh, by the way," he grabs his mom by the shoulders and spins her around, "this is Anastasia."
I smile, then look at the ground. She's pretty. No, beautiful. "Uh, hi...nice to meet you."
"Ah, eres un lindo!"
"Gracias. Eres muy bonita."
"Gracias, Anastasia. So, Tony, what do you two have planned tonight? Are you staying for dinner?"
"Uh...I dunno. The guys are waiting in the car, and--"
She smacks his arm. "Tony! ! Invitar a que se queden! And get this girl some dry clothes! She must be muy frío."
He kisses her cheek. "Yes, Mama. Anastasia, I'll get you the clothes first."
"Nah, it's cool. Lets get the boys first, I think they'd like to know they're getting some awesome food."
"I love you already." Tony's mom exclaims. "Oh! Where are my manners? Better yet, where are Tony's?" She laughs. "Call me Momma, I figure you'll be around for a while."
"Okie dokie. Fine by me."
I lift my eyes too meet her gaze. I wonder what it's like to have a mom who actually cares. Instead of asking like I want to, I go up the stairs to find Tony, who left me. Okay, um...there's a fork in the hall...Which way to go...
I turn to the right and, luckily, I'm right. He's the third door on the left side of the hall. I lean on the door frame and watch him. He lays on his bed with his eyes closed, but he's not sleeping. Rather, he's thinking. I bet money he is.
"Ello, gov'na."
"Ah!" He yells. "Jesus Christ, Anastasia, you scared the shit out of me!"
"Tony! Language!" his mom shouts.
"Sorry!" he laughs at me, then points to his dresser. "Shorts and sweats are the third drawer down. Hoodies and tee shirts are in the closet."
"Okay, thanks."
I walk over and open the drawer he told me to. Perfect. I grab a pair of black sweats and walk to the closet to get a hoodie. It's hot today....do I really want to wear a hoodie? I check my arms. SHIT! My makeup has come off my arms a little. Shit fuck.
I snatch a red hoodie, and shoo Tony out of his room. I change quickly and open the door. He's no longer there. That's when I hear a lot of voices from the kitchen. He must've told the guys to come in.
"Damn, Princess, you look like you're ready for winter!" Mike says when I walk into the room.
"Michael!"
"Sorry, Momma."
I smirk. They all call her some form of 'mom'. That's cute.

"Thank you, uh, Momma, for dinner." I say awkwardly.
"No problema. I enjoy cooking! But you barely ate a thing, novia. Do you feel alright?"
I nod my head. "I'm okay. I just have a small appetite, and this was more than enough." Lies. I could down another plate of this rice.
"Okay. Are you sure, though? How about I pack you some food for the sleepover?"
"Just for her? What?" Vic pouts, "I thought you loved me! You told me that you'd only pack me food."
"Victor, silencia. Let the poor girl have a chance to enjoy more of my cooking. You've had your fair share of take home meals."
"Fine."
"Good boy."
She goes and fixes me a a container full of rice, chicken, and chips. I accept the food, but inside I know I will never touch it. Vic may just get himself another meal. After saying goodbye, the boys and I head out to Vic and Mike's house.

~~~Tony's P.O.V.~~~

Wow, I've never seen my mom respond like that to anyone. At all. She had to warm up to the guys slowly, but with Anastasia....Damn. They like clicked.
I look at the sleepy Anastasia besides me. She looks cute in my clothes, though they're baggy on her. Almost fragile, but not. Maybe it's just because she's such a thin girl. That's one thing I'm going to have to address tonight.
Within minutes she's asleep. Her chest rises and falls in a pattern--who's doesn't? She seems peaceful. I hope she is. I don't want her to have anymore nightmares. When she wakes up, I'll get Vic to--
"Tony? Earth to Tony!" Anastasia giggles.
"Huh? Oh, yeah?"
"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?"
"I thought you were sleeping."
"Nope!" She adds extra emphasis on the 'p'.
"Okay. I'll be right back."
I get off the couch and go to find Vic. His room. Of course! I run up the stairs. He sits in the middle of his bed with a notebook. Must be writing another song.
"Vic, man, we need to talk."
He nods towards an empty (and clean) spot on his bed. "Sit."
"It's about Anastasia..."
That grabs his attention. "What about her?"