What's So Good About Picking Up the Pieces?

It hurt to breathe. And every beat my heart made was one that was forced. I was like a deer caught in headlights; I couldn't move and I kept on staring. And no matter how much it hurt to see this scrawny boy again, I just couldn't move. Memories flooded back, obscuring my vision. Despite the want to run away... my legs wouldn't cooperate with me. And the look he was giving me was the same look I was giving him; like we had seen a ghost. And he was a ghost. A ghost from my past. One I thought would never come back to haunt me.

Yet there he was, standing before. Just as scrawny as before. And just a beautiful as I remembered. Tears filled my eyes and I finally turned away from him, trying to push through the crowd. It wasn't easy and the bodies seemed to enclose around me. I was smothering. I couldn't breathe. All I just wanted to do was run as far away as I could. To not see his face any longer. To just get away and pretend it was just a bad dream.

I got to the back of the store in hopes of escaping. I felt a hand grab my arm and spin me around. Those green eyes met mine. "Scarlett?" The same adorable British accent I had easily come to love.

I felt my legs give out and I fell to the floor. I felt his arms embrace me to keep my from falling and hurting myself. I just really wanted them off of me. The touch was to much for me to handle. The tears flowed down and I couldn't move. I was so thankful it was to crowded for anybody to see us. To see me in my weak and pathetic state. "Please let go," I pleaded softly. My voice was scratchy and I could hear the pain in it.

"It's really you, Scar." His hand caressed my cheek. He called me Scar.... the nickname he had given me so long ago.

The touch burned my cheek. The time seemed endless now. It was just me and him in that moment. That painfully excruciating moment that I wish would end. And like an answer to my prayers, I heard Monica's voice. "Scarlett?!"

Oli let me go to look at her and I knew this was my opportunity to run. I got up as quick as I could and ran out the back. I didn't turn back as I heard my name being yelled. I didn't want to look back. Running was the only thing I wanted to do. I probably looked like a maniac running in the rain, and I'm sure a few car horns honked at me as I almost got hit. But I just blocked it out. I was running as far as I could go.

I was running as far as my legs could take me. I managed to stop at some bridge. The rain was pouring down even heavier now. But my tears were warm as they ran down my face. It still felt like I was suffocating. My mind was running with memories and my emotions were just as strong as they were in the store. All I could see was his face. That face I loved so many years ago.

My wounds that I took so long to fix were open again. His face wouldn't leave my head. His voice echoed in me. It was driving me crazy. Even though it was freezing and the rain felt like sharp pin pricks... I wasn't even thinking about going home. I stared into the water, watching the waves clash into each other. I bet it felt cold, it looked cold. Cold enough to freeze something.

Maybe it could freeze everything I was feeling.

It felt as if I were sleepwalking. I wasn't aware of my arms pushing my up over the rails of the bridge. And I wasn't aware that if I let go, I would drop into the cold water. And the voices yelling at me to not let go, I wasn't even aware of those.

No, I wasn't aware of anything. My hands released the grip I had on the rails and I felt the air around me grow sharp as I fell. The dark water was coming closer and closer. I welcomed the freezing cold. I enjoyed being tossed around in those waves. Maybe now, Oli would go away and I'd be okay.