Open My Eyes

The next couple of weeks passed quickly, until it was Mid-May. Ayden couldn’t believe that despite the sheer amount of work he had already done for his exhibition and final portfolio, there was still so much to do. He had to finalise the prints he was going to choose, narrowing down from 4 years of work to show his progression as well as making himself look good. And he had to finalise the theme for his exhibition. He had it narrowed down to three options now, but his tutor wanted him to choose prints and gives reasons and examples for each option, backing up why he wanted to choose each one before actually deciding on what he was going to use. He was spending long hours going through tiny images of four years’ worth of camera shots, tagging and editing the ones he thought were suitable, before making his personal annotations, day in and day out. It was exhausting, and he hadn’t even chosen his final 20 to really work on yet.

It didn’t help that the only person he knew he could talk to about his stress, the only person he wanted to help unburden him, was the one person he didn’t want to weigh down with his problems. Jimmy. And he knew that Jimmy didn’t like him leaving in the mornings, and not being there in the evenings. Most nights Ayden was too tired to spend time with Jimmy, and just crashed back at his own house. But he tried to make time for his boyfriend. He didn’t want Jimmy hating him.

“You’ve got to go again,” Jimmy said, deadpan as Ayden sat upright in his bed.

“Yeah, I’m sorry Jim. I’ll try and come over a bit earlier tonight though?” Ayden offered.

Jimmy smiled weakly and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it if you get caught up with your work,”

Ayden frowned, and leant back down, cupping Jimmy’s face with his hand before pressing their lips gently together.

“Please don’t forget how important you are to me. I love you,” Ayden said seriously, face hovering close still.

Happiness fluttered in Jimmy’s eyes, making Ayden feel a little better.

“I love you too,” Jimmy said softly.

Ayden smiled as Jimmy kissed him again, moaning softly as Jimmy’s morning hardness was pressed firmly up against him, groaning as the kiss started heating up, Jimmy gripping at Ayden’s bare waist. No, he didn’t have time for sex right now. And Jimmy was worth more than quick rushed sex. So Ayden broke the kiss.

“Jimmy, I need to…”

The vulnerable look in Jimmy’s eyes, like he could break at any second, surprised Ayden slightly, and stopped him from finishing his sentence properly.

“I need to blow you before I leave,” Ayden corrected.

Jimmy blushed slightly, but nodded, eagerness showing all over his face. Leaving 20 minutes later than scheduled couldn’t hurt, right?

*

On top of his Photography work, Ayden was still submitting to the student newspaper, and although he was meeting with Pete infrequently now to discuss everything, it was still extra work for him to do. Today he was meeting with Pete just after lunch, before he had to be back in the studio.

And it didn’t take Ayden long to realise that Pete was really quite awkward around him today. Luckily, Jimmy wasn’t in the newspaper office, no-one was actually, so Ayden had no problem confronting the younger guy.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” Ayden sighed.

He wasn’t stupid. Pete was definitely acting strangely.

“Nothing,” Pete muttered.

Of course.

“Bullshit,” Ayden retorted, staring him down.

Pete stared back for a couple of seconds, before looking away. Hah.

“It’s Jimmy,” Pete eventually said.

Jimmy? What’s wrong with Jimmy?!

“Is he okay? Is he hurt? What happened?” Ayden demanded.

“Woah, cool your jets. He’s not hurt. Well, not physically anyway,” Pete said.

For fuck’s sake.

“Dude, just spell it out. I have way too much on my mind for riddles,” Ayden groaned.

Pete narrowed his eyes slightly, making Ayden panic a little. Was it really that bad?

“Jimmy’s trying not to show how you not being around is affecting him,” Pete explained.

“What do you mean? He was fine this morning when I left him,” Ayden frowned.

“No, he wasn’t. He’s trying to hide it from you because he doesn’t want to mess up your graduation,” Pete replied.

W-What?

Pete sighed at the hurt on Ayden’s face. “He’s been writing angry responses to Aunt Jemima letters and when I confronted him about it, Jimmy went on a spiralling rant about how you’re going to realise while spending all this time away from him that you’re better off without him,”

Jimmy…what?

“He thinks I’m going to leave him?” Ayden spluttered.

Pete just nodded. What the fuck?!

“But I love him!” Ayden insisted.

“I know that. Hell, Jimmy knows that too – he’s just a little insecure right now, that’s all. He’ll be fine,” Pete said.

Yeah fucking right. Even if everything was perfect between them, which it hadn’t been for a little while now, Jimmy would still not be fine. This really wasn’t what he needed right now.

“Fuck,” Ayden groaned.

“Hey, don’t get worked up about it – focus on your exhibition and portfolio, that’s what’s important. Graduating is what’s important,” Pete said firmly, “Jimmy will wait for you, you know he will. And he doesn’t want you to fail because of him,”

“But I need to tell him that I’m not going anywhere, I need to reassure him,” Ayden said.

“Leave that to us. Please, just focus on your work. Jimmy would feel so guilty if he’s the reason you don’t graduate,” Pete said, smiling weakly.

Ayden frowned, but nodded. He had been working so hard for his degree, put so much time and effort into his work, and he knew Pete was right.

It didn’t mean he had to like it though.