They All Say Things You Want to Hear

You know when you get your heart broken and they say "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else!" Yeah, well, they're wrong. After my heart being broken my that beautiful man out west, I came home to my sleepy little Southern town and listened to them. I downloaded an app and swiped left and right all night, not really seeing anyone too promising. I was just looking to be distracted. Fade in Bobby. We started chatting and hit it off immediately. We had everything in common, from coming from well off families, to being conservative Republicans, to being potheads! It was fantastic. He was athletic and preppy and the exact opposite of my desert lover. We went out twice before our first kiss, he was very respectful of me not wanting to go too far too fast, but by the third date the tension was too much. Before I knew what was happening he had my legs in the air above my head in his Chevy Cruze receiving amazing head. We stopped after I had been brought to orgasm. I had never done something like that before. I was the serial monogamist, the girl who never casually hooked up.

Over the next few days he sent me sweet texts, talks of the future, everything a girl could want to hear. I was swooning. He invited me to his place, and even though we tried to pretend to be interested in anything but each other, we were soon making out and making our way to the bedroom. He expertly laid me on the bed and as if he could read my mind, all my deepest desires, he began doing things to me I had never ever experienced. It was so erotic, taboo, sensual, I loved every minute of it. He thrust into me harder the louder I screamed. He made me feel it in every inch of my body, made me convulse below him, and denied me any release until he was ready. When all was said and done I quickly fell asleep as he set the sound machine next to me on thunderstorms knowing it would calm me.

So far, so good? I know that's what you're thinking. This guy sounds great! Way to go! You finally found a good one! Sure, he came from one of the oldest Republican families in the country, was blue blood to the core, had a fabulous job, car, place, on paper he was perfect for me. I thought so too. Then I had to find out the creepiest of all creepy things. It seriously couldn't get worse than this. Here I am thinking, this guy is normal, and especially after Homogate 2014, I did not need any more surprises, so of course that's what I got.

When getting out of bed the morning after, I tripped. A box came from under the bed and the contents spilled onto the floor. What were they you ask? A wide variety of dildos, vibrators, cock rings, anal plugs, anal beads, lube, etc.... I was mortified. I went into the living room, made my excuses and got out of there!

The problem was, I didn't want to confront him about it, so he just kept texting. I tried to politely blow him off, give him the cold shoulder, but no, that only seemed to motivate him more. He started sending me obscene pictures. Pictures of him eating his own ejaculate, a video of him being fucked by a dog, and a long description of being "pounded" by a married man and having phone sex with a sixty year old man.

Perfect? Far from it. My gaydar was obviously way off. First the experience in the desert and now this. Wow. How many homosexuals can a girl attract in a lifetime, hell, in a month? Learn from my mistakes dearies, although he may seem completely normal on the outside, there are things lurking inside, and it's only after you discover those things that you can judge for yourselves whether or not you can handle it. Like this guy, totally unacceptable, but if I met a man who just liked to say be spanked in the bedroom or a finger or two up the wazoo, that would be fine by me. Know your limits, know what you're willing to try, and try to have that conversation before things get too serious. I wish I would have. I slept with him, and then I felt betrayed and fucked all over again when I found out the truth.