Lashing Out
Friday, September 6 2013
There's is just so much hatred for myself I feel like it's unbearable for my family. It's almost time for homecoming and I was in a good mood and I decided that I should look for dresses. Big fucking mistake!!!!!! I have to look in the fucking plus sized section now!!!!! because and XL is too fucking large for designers and society! And not only that the prices went up and my mom can't afford to pay for it!!!!!!
I'M SUCH A FUCKING FAT ASS!!!!!! I just wish I could be like those other girls tall and blonde. Beautiful, I just want to be skinny and beautiful.....
There haven't been as many triggers until now when all the girls at my new school are gorgeous and I have to try and hide my fat with layers of clothes. I can't stop the voice in my head saying over and over "Do it you pussy! Cut, it's the only thing you're okay at. Ha NOT! you can't even cut deep enough you pathetic piece of shit!"
I don't know if I can stand to live this way.....
I'M SUCH A FUCKING FAT ASS!!!!!! I just wish I could be like those other girls tall and blonde. Beautiful, I just want to be skinny and beautiful.....
There haven't been as many triggers until now when all the girls at my new school are gorgeous and I have to try and hide my fat with layers of clothes. I can't stop the voice in my head saying over and over "Do it you pussy! Cut, it's the only thing you're okay at. Ha NOT! you can't even cut deep enough you pathetic piece of shit!"
I don't know if I can stand to live this way.....