Forelsket

Graduation was a blur of flying hats of doom, sweat, and handshaking. The aftermath was a terrible mix of photographs, fake smiles, and weeding though crowds of people. Somehow by the end of it all I managed to find my way in to my best friend Melody’s car, air conditioning on high, duffle bag with a pair of clean clothes in the back. The air moving around the lime green beetle started off hot, making the sweat on my brow fall hard on to my lap. But as I sat there the cooler it got. Suddenly I was shivering.

Melody tapped the steering wheel slowly as the parade of cars began to exit the parking lot. I watched my dad’s blue Aspen pull out onto the street only to be stuck at the red light. “At least he got the far.” Melody commented putting her car in park again. “Screw it, I’m just going to wait till all the assholes leave.” She flipped her florescent blond hair, now tinted with pink ombre tips.

“How’d you get past Principal Stalin with those?” I asked holding onto the Aquafina water bottle I got from my father after the ceremony tightly. She had threaten for the 4 years that I had known her that she was going out with a bang. She would wear something completely absurd or dye her hair pink for graduation just in spite of our principal. Half of her permanent record was her fabulous 4.2 GPA, including amazing achievements in her AP classes, the other half was Dress Code Violation detention slips.

“I tied the ends up and hid them during inspections and then pulled it down just in time to walk.” She retold her tale of heroism playing with the pink parts. “She flipped a shit when she saw them, if the superintendent wasn’t the one handing out the diplomas I wouldn’t have gotten mine. I didn’t get a handshake, just a dirty look.”

It had been the first time in a week since I had seen Mel. Her family bombarding her with all sorts of graduation crap that I had pleasantly turned down. The infamous college visit, fancy dinners, dress shopping (even if she and I had picked out ours the same time we got our prom dresses), and of course the party. A party which if the parking lot didn’t clear up in the next 10 minutes, she would be late to start decorating for.

“You’re so lucky your father let you opt out of a party.” She folded her legs and turned the air conditioning down enough that she didn’t have to talk over it. “My mother is going to kill me…”

Parking closer to the football field meant that you’d be the last to leave, but the first to get there. “You shouldn’t have parked here then.” I chided knowing she showed up late.

“I wish, all the parking was taken and…” she paused to look at me. “You were being sarcastic,” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Try changing your tone once and a while Gwen, I could hardly tell.”

I chuckled. “Mel?” I kicked off my comfortable ballet flats and tried to get comfortable in the small quarters.

“Hm,” She began to put the car in drive going to attempt to beat a grandmother for the next spot in the line to leave.

“What are you going to do this summer?”

“What are we going to do this summer?” She corrected me.

“Fine, what are we going to do this summer?”

“Well, there’s the college visit for you,” She started talking about our plans. Plans that were made at spring break. All the boring preparation stuff but nothing with substance. Nothing with more adventure than a road trip to Maryland, which was less than an hour away. “We’ve got the state fair, beach, packing—why the sudden interest?” She cut through Rebecca Baxter’s driveway to get on a back road behind the traffic.

“I want to do something new—something exciting.” I pulled at the hem of my dress.

“Gweny-poo,” it began, her long drawn out speech on how I’ve never wanted to do anything like this before. How I wasn’t one for taking risks. How this isn’t something I should be worrying about with all the stuff I’ve got to do in preparation for college. “Where is this coming from?”

That was a good question. “I’m not sure,” I replied honestly. “I guess it’s been bubbling under the surface. I mean why not? Go on a small road trip to Florida or learn to surf or…”

“Gwen,” she cut me off. “I know you might want to live your life like a John Green novel but sometimes you can’t.”

“Leave it to you, the future geneticist, to be a realist.”

“Leave it to you, the future journalist, to be—” she stopped to laugh. “I would say dreamer but that more fiction writing isn’t it?”

“To be searching for more,” I gave her an ending and pressed my face against the cool window.

“Seriously though Gweny,” she turned into her drive-way. “I’m not saying you’re wrong or that this is silly, but,”

“It’s silly.” I said letting out a sigh. I messed with my shoes and took a deep breath. “That’s what Stephen said, in not as many words.”

“It’s not silly” She said sternly turning off the engine. “It’s just not possible at the moment. I’m all for taking risks. You know that. And I get the whole last hurrah before the party that leads to the eternal hangover of adulthood. Savor your youth. Wahoo.” She pumped her fist, ironically. “But there’s so much going on this summer that 16 hour drive to the sunshine state, or taking the time to learn to surf just seems like a lot.” She paused and grabbed my forearm lightly. “We’ll try though, we’ll do something incredibly insane. Right now, let’s focus on making it to August without wanting to kill ourselves.”

Melody had a point. I hated to admit it, but she was right. “It’s silly, just forget it.” I pushed myself out into the muggy, 90 degree weather. “Besides, we have a party to prepare for.”



It took a couple hours to prepare for Melody’s party. It required, desperately, a shower and outfit change from both of us. A lot of cleaning, prepping and sadly going outside. Her mother had opened the French doors from the dining room to the deck and completely create “an open space”. For some reason, when it came to parties, people ignored the heat for something that look nice.

Throughout the small yard were tiki torches ready to be lit, a volleyball net, a bounce house, and a huge stereo system blaring top 40 radio throughout the entire “open space”. While I was attempting to help her run streamers through the decks wooden bannisters a honk broke through the latest Nikki Minaj song.

“Jordan’s here!” She cheered and grabbed my wrist forcing me to run to the driveway. The car was an old Green Dakota pickup truck. Which I knew for certain wasn’t Jordan’s mother’s sedan.

“You invited Alex?”

She waved to the two passengers. “Come on, they’re really good friends and this gives you a chance to talk to Alejandro” she emphasized his Spanish name with a purr.

“You’re a bitch.”

“You want to live risky this summer, start now.”

They started over. Alex was in a pair of nice jeans, a worn pair of combat books and dark blue button down and brought the green out in his eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes that turned around in AP Psychology to ask for a pencil the first day of senior year and left me crushed.

Of course Melody would invite him and Jordan. Of course he would oblige because he’s the nicest person in the world. And of course the first thing he would say when he saw me was "come here often?” the cheesiest pick up line, joke, whatever ever.

“Well she is my best friend, so I hope so” was my stupid reply that made me blush profusely and rethink ever sitting next to Melody in English class freshmen year.

“That would really tear a friendship apart if you’d never gone to her house, so many secrets can be discovered from a house.” He tried to fix my terrible attempt at a joke with a lame one himself. We both laughed as Jordan and Melody watched.

“So,” I said redirecting the awkwardness to the pink-haired bitch of a best friend.

“You said you needed some help getting ready?” Jordan shrugged. “Put us to work.”

“Of course,” she smiled, that huge Melody is perfect smile she had. “My dad could use some help putting up the rest of the tables and moving coolers, you’re both strong guys, right?”

Alex pulled his arm up to show off his bicep. “I think.” He smiled. That goofy crooked smile that made his eyes sparkle. The butterflies that had cocooned in my stomach were making their way up my throat begging to be let loose onto the world and cause utter embarrassment.

“Come on tough guy,” Jordan said pulling Alex in the direction of Mr. Smith and dozens of folding chairs.

“Thanks again.” Melody said smiling at the boys. Once they were out of ear-shot, “He totally likes you.” She made her way back to the streamers.

“As if,” I blushed again. Hearing her say that didn’t help the swarm of nerves bundled in my esophagus. But for some reason I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to believe it but the idea of someone so, interesting, liking me it just seemed unbelievable.

“That was a pickup line Gweny.”

“It was a joke, he jokes.”

“Aimed at you, not me.”

“We hardly talked, it’s impossible.”

Melody pouted, “Just try, you’re miss adventurous summer.” She used my earlier worries against me like any true opponent. “You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

“Whatever, I’m going to help your mother with the food. I can’t stand listening to your conspiracy theories.”

“Area 51 is real! There are aliens.” She screamed as I made my way into the kitchen.

Mrs. Smith was accompanied by Judith and my father. He gave me a smile, she a frown.

“You changed?”

“I smelled,” she rolled her eyes and began pulling out food from the fridge. “When did you get here?”

“Pulled up right behind the truck,” as he talked I saw something behind his eyes, worry?

“Are you okay?”

“I’m on call” he admitted, “hopefully no one at the hospital needs me, but if I have to leave…”

“Its fine, we made it through graduation without a call.”

With dad being a surgeon it made it hard to actually see him for long periods of time. A part of me felt bad for leaving him for an hour just to help Mel.

“So, what can I do Marge?” My dad tried to lighten up the incredibly blue feeling mood that had formed.

“Well, Jarred has two of Melody’s friend helping him the yard and Judy and I have all this taken care of, do you want to run to the store and get some ice and extra drinks. I feel like I’m going to have way more people than anticipated.” Mrs. Smith began jotting things down on a writing pad. “Gwendolyn dear, would you mind going and helping?”

I nodded and jumped at the chance to get out of the awkward environment for a couple minutes.



The car ride was filled with dad’s favorite classic rock station and light chatter about everything I missed while sitting on the field. He told me all the useless gossip that he heard around him and how excited he was when it was over. For the first time all day I had felt some peace. The peace was shattered around Aisle 1: Ice of Walgreens when his phone went off.

After he paid for all the stuff and helped me take it to the car. He gave me the keys along with a solemn smile. “We tried peanut, but…”

“Don’t its fine. You save people’s lives. I can’t get mad at someone for dying and needing you.”

“You need me too…”

“They need you more.”

The trip to the hospital was short and bittersweet. He kissed my head and sent me on my way alone with 12 bags of ice and a radio filled with Black Sabbath.

At the house I parked behind Alex’s truck and thankfully ran into him. “Alex,” his name tasted sweet in my mouth.

“Yo?”

“My dad kind of got called in to work and left me with 12 bags of ice—can I borrow those big biceps of yours?”

He laughed and nodded. “Sure thing Fitz.”

After unloading all the frozen water in to the Smith’s garage freezer the rest of the world had shown up at the party. I sat on top of the freezer for a couple seconds building up the stamina to party.

“You alright?” I had forgot, I don’t know how, that Alex was still in the garage with me.

“Yeah, I’m just a little bummed.”

“You are your dad are close?”

“Yeah, I just was hoping for one call-free day.”

“Half-way, besides you’re going to be hanging out with the teenagers all night anyway. You wouldn’t have seen him.”

“Yeah, I just have to bug Melody for a ride home.”

“Why?”

“My step-mons—mother will leave after 8 to put my little brother in bed and Stephen is going to get plastered tonight with all his high school buddies…I’m sorry I’m unloading life crap on you.”

“I’ll take you home…Jordan’s leaving with Kevin anyway.”

I had no idea who Kevin was but I wanted to kiss him. “You don’t have too.”

“I want to.” He stressed. “Besides, I’ll unload my life crap on you in return.”

I smiled. “Deal”