What's It Like to Kill a Man?

I think I was unconscious for only about 5 minutes, but when consciousness began to come back to me I could tell I was being carried out of the woods. I was still in a decent amount of pain and felt pretty weak, I assumed I lost more blood then I should have. I wanted to ask whoever was carrying me for something to take the pain away but I felt so weak I didn't want to even talk at that moment.

I was carried into and through the house that must have been in the yard I was in earlier. I kept frequently shutting my eyes since the lights in the house seemed too bright compared to the complete darkness of the woods I was just in. I was placed on what felt like a bed and about 2 minutes later. My knees were at the end of the bed and my feet were touching the floor. I slightly gasped at something cold being wiped around where I had been bitten. My neck still hurt a lot, not just the surface either, but deeper, it felt like the muscles in my neck were bitten into as well, or at least bruised.

"Swallow this. It's going to take away the pain." I head the same voice that was talking to me earlier. I kept trying to hold my eyes open for longer periods of time, but when I would open my eyes things looked a bit blurry. I didn't think too much about it I decided to take it. I wanted to be out of pain. I tried to hold out my hand so I could take what he was trying to give me.

"Just open your mouth." He said after a second. I opened my mouth and felt a pill fall onto my tongue. I quickly swallowed it before it started tasting gross.

"Drink some water.." I tried sitting up, but I guess I wasn't really moving very much, although to me it felt like I was moving a lot. I felt the man gripping my arm to help me sit up. Then I could make out a glass of water in front of my face with a straw in it when I opened my eyes again. I could see the man sitting on his knees in front of me. Everything was too blurry to make out many details of, but I took a few swigs of the water. I saw the man stand back up and shut the lights off in the room as I tried to lay my upper body back down, I head him exit the room and close the door behind him then he locked it on the other side.

Some sunlight was hitting my closed eyelids through a window. I felt a little disoriented and still a little weak but quickly opened my eyes and sat up. I looked around the room I was in and to my surprise it was my own! I was back in my apartment on my bed. I looked at the clock to see that it was 7 pm. I got out of my bed and went into my bathroom to check and see if my neck was alright. I couldn't remember everything that had happened last night but I remembered the portions that I was conscious for. I saw that my neck looked completely fine. I couldn't believe it! By how much it hurt last night I would have sworn that it wouldn't have even started healing yet. I was 99 percent sure that all the events that I believed happened, did happen, but not having the scars on my neck made me open to the possibility that I was wrong. I also couldn't help but notice that my work shirt I was wear over my black tee shirt was missing. I had a few different work shirts but I know for fact I didn't take mine off yesterday.

I replayed bits and pieces that I remembered from the last two days in my head while I ate chips and made myself a hot dog. I was so hungry since the last time I ate was about 26 hours before the point where I was captured. I knew all of the events happened, and I wasn't sure what to make of that. I wondered what was going to happen next. I know that I wasn't supposed to be able to remember anything that had happened last night. I wondered if I would be killed tonight after I got out of work, or if I was going to be turned into a vampire. Or maybe the man would move on and forget about it and spare me. Maybe he knew I had no one to tell.

After I ate I tried looking around my home to see if my purse had been left here with me. I was hoping it would be since it had all of my money and my phone in it. To my disappointment it wasn't. I was debating weather or not to bring some of my kitchen knives with me to work tonight just incase I was supposed to get murdered after my shift. I basically couldn't since I'd have no way to conceal anything like that on my body and work my shift with it.

Before I went in that night I showered changed my clothes and I found a knife I was planning on bringing to work with me. It had a case and wasn't too, too big. I decided I was going to bring a sweat jacket of mine to hide the knife in while I was working. I'd leave the knife wrapped in my jacket in the break room. While I was walking down the street I planned to hold the knife with my hands on an angle in my pockets to conceal it.

Going into work was fine, I was very nervous walking around on the streets to get there. Although I had a knife I wasn't sure if it would do too much against a vampire trying to kill me. I had the night off last night so I knew I wasn't going to get in trouble for not being there last night, but a few hours into my shift is when everything got sour.

"Who's sweatshirt is this?" The manager who yelled at me the other night called out to all of the employees. I looked up from the box I was unloading. It was mine he was holding. I felt my stomach churn I knew they must have found the knife that was wrapped up in it.

"It's mine." I said raising my hand slightly while walking toward them.

"Devon moved your jacket to sit in a chair and this fell out. Why was this wrapped in it?" He sort of spat at me while giving me back my sweat jacket.

"That's also mine. I don't have my purse today because I was mugged last night after my shift. I didn't want be defenseless when there's nothing left to take from me..." I explained hoping he would give a shit.

"You can't bring a knife here. That's against policy. How do I know you're not plotting to kill everybody with it?" The manager said ignoring my statement while making such a stupid point it wasn't even funny.

"I only brought it to defend myself before and after work. I'm not trying to hurt anyone with it." I was being honest about that at least. I wished a different manager had been the one to find the knife I wished the one talking to me would have been on opposite shifts as me. I felt like any other manager would have been more understanding about it.

"I'm suspending you for the rest of the week and you are on your final warning here. Don't bring knives into work anymore unless you want to get fired. Go clock out and go home." He decided then started walking away.

"Can I please have my knife back, I won't bring it in to work again. I need it to walk home." I pointed out hoping he wasn't going to be that much of an asshole.

"No, this is confiscated." He said not even giving it thought while turning around again.

"You're sending me at out at the worse time, the end of my shift would be better walking the streets then 1 in the morning. Can I please have my knife back." I gave it my last shot.

"Don't keep arguing with me. I will get you fired if you do." He said sternly before turning around to walk away again. I was so pissed. Trying to keep myself alive just got me in trouble. As I clocked out I wondered if he would feel bad at all if I did get murdered tonight and the managers at the store found out.

Before I actually exited the store I wondered if maybe I should sit up at the front and until an hour or two after my shift would actually end. I wondered if that would be the better option, but then I also figured if I was put back at my home.. the vampire knows where I live. After thinking that I realized I really wasn't safe anywhere unless I was around people.

After 5 minutes of thinking I ended up walking outside. Part of me was nervous and scared for the end of my life. The other part of me deep down was too optimistic that I was going to live and that nothing would actually happen to me today at least.

When I reached the same spot I was captured at my heart really started racing. Before I crossed the street, I saw a car start heading down it. It was really strange because only one out of 100 times does a car come down the road when I'm going to cross it. It's a road that's hardly driven down. The car which was a black corvette, pulled up right in front of where I was standing and I wasn't sure what to do. The driver rolled down the window and it ended up being the man who captured me last night. I felt my stomach hit the floor but tried not to show it. I assumed he was testing me to see if I had recognized him or remembered what happened last night. Although I tried to look and act casual I don't think I hid the fear in my eyes.

"Hi?" I tried to say with a confused look that said 'I don't know you, why are you talking to me?'"

"Get in." The man commanded. I could tell my acting skills didn't go over so well. I briskly walked in front of the car and got into the passenger's side.

"You remember everything don't you?" He asked looking over at me as he put the car into drive.

"Most of it.. Yeah." I admitted since he knew anyway. "So.. what happens now?" I asked looking down after a minute of silence. I didn't want to ask if he was going to kill me because I didn't want to put the idea back in his head incase he wasn't thinking about that at all.

"Well, I was considering your proposition." He told me while we got onto some highway and he began driving at a steady speed of 85 mph. I felt so relieved when I heard that. "See, I like to avoid killing people if I can." He began explaining, it relieved me to hear that as well. "It usually just creates more problems, if you're not careful, then you have too many loose ends to worry about." He stopped then looked over at me quickly.

"Yeah.. You're absolutely right... yup..." I added somewhat enthusiastically agreeing with him which caused him to give me an odd look. I wasn't sure if he was angry I spoke before he was done or not.

"I was thinking I would take you up on your offer.... But I don't know if you can handle it..." He finished again and smirked over at me.

"Ok..." I said looking into his eyes waiting for him to continue.

"You're going to have to see what it's really like to be a vampire before I turn you into one." He said while looking back at the road. "If I turn you into one.." He added making my stomach churn a little bit.

"Alright.." I nodded. I didn't know how to respond to that. I was up for going along with that if it would let me see what the next day would be like. I didn't want to talk too much and ruin my chances of survival but I had a billion questions I wasn't sure if I should ask or not. "Where are we going?" I decided to ask after another 5 minutes of silence.

"A little ways across the state." He answered plainly.

"Is that where you live?" I asked after a second.

"Not really, no." He answered and pulled a pack of cigarettes from an area under where the CD player in the car was.

"I need to feed." He added before I asked another question. I looked over at him as he placed a cigarette in his mouth and successfully lit it with one hand before cracking his window. "You're coming with me. You're going to help me find somebody to feed on." He added telling me how it was. I was a bit surprised this was going to happen so soon. "If you do anything to screw it up or can't handle it, I will feed on and kill you tonight. Then drive back here and dump your body in the water we're driving over right now. Just to make things clear for you." He spoke very firmly then took a long drag from his cigarette.

"Alright.." I said and nodded my head once showing I understood and knew he wasn't messing around.

For the next 20 minutes I was wondering how the remainder of the night was going to go down. I hoped whoever he was going to feed on would be left alive with their memory erased. I really didn't want to see anybody get killed. I also wondered what might happen if by the time we reached our destination if it would be too light out to discreetly feed on anybody. Maybe he would call off doing that tonight and I wouldn't have to go through with anything yet. After another 10 minutes I decided to break the silence.

"What's your name?" I spoke looking over at him.

"Gerard Way." He answered, I looked forward and didn't say anything else before he spoke again. "What's yours? Your purse didn't have an ID in it."

"Yeah, I never got my license or anything like that... so I don't have one. It's Cori Mauser."

"That's an interesting name for a girl." He commented. When he spoke he didn't sound happy or easy going or anything, but he didn't sound as firm as he had earlier.

"I guess it's short for Corinn."

"You guess?" He asked giving me a strange glance.

"Well, I mean it is.. it is short for Corinn." I spoke again confirming what I meant.

"You say that like it's not your name." He gave me another strange glance.

"Yeah.. I know.." I commented not knowing what to say. Especially since it really wasn't my name.

".....Ok..." He said skeptically, but dropped the conversation.

"So.. are there a lot of vampires out there?" I asked a few minutes of silence.

"Sort of, not really. Not too many." He answered thinking about it as he did.

"Do you know a lot of other vampires?"

"Not really, I've met some in passing, but there aren't any that I would consider friends or anything like that." He answered. I wondered how many people I might have come in contact with through out my life that were actually vampires, if any.

"How long have you been a vampire?" I asked as soon as the thought came into my head.

"15 years."

"Oh.. wow..." I said a little surprised.

"What?" He asked whipping his head over at me quickly.

"Oh.. nothing.." I said hoping I didn't offend him. I didn't mean to. "I was just assuming you were going to say like 200 years or something like that." I responded and he eased up.

"Oh... Well, yeah. It really hasn't been that long." He said himself sitting back in his seat. I wanted to ask him how he was turned into a vampire but didn't know if that was something that was too personal to ask or anything.

"Are the majority of vampires a lot older?" I asked another question after another couple minutes of silence.

"Yeah... for the most part I think so. But like I said, I don't really know too many, and the ones I have met I don't know too well. Are you done with the questions?" He asked me sounding like he was getting annoyed with me. He began lighting up another cigarette.

"Oh- Um- Well, No. But I can be." I answered truthfully but hoping not to make him mad.

"Good." He said before taking another drag of his cigarette.

We sat in silence for another hour then he began to get off an exit. We drove around the streets for another 15 minutes before my heart started racing again as he pulled into a secluded parking lot, and it was time for us to get out.