What's It Like to Kill a Man?

Some light knocking woke me up. I instantly sat up, It must have been dusk since there wasn't much light coming through the curtains in the room. I usually never want to get out of bed and have a really hard time waking up, but I wasn't at my apartment.

"Hey... Are you awake?" I heard Gerard mumbled from the other side of the door.

"Uhh... Yeah.." I said quietly clearing my throat to make myself sound like he hadn't just woken me up. I slid out of the bed and threw my jeans back on. He didn't reply but I heard him undoing the lock on the other side of the door. By the time I had my jeans and socks back on he opened the door. He was standing there in Star Wars pajama pants and black slippers with slightly disheveled hair. He also had on black tee shirt that looked like a men's version of the one I was wearing now, that had been under my work shirt.

"I'm hungry again, we're going to go out in a little bit."

"Oh... Ok.." I wasn't really expecting that. I felt a bit of anxiety setting in remembering how the previous night had been.

"I'm going to change my clothes, I'll meet you in the dining room in a few minutes." He said before lumbering off to his room. I used the en suite bathroom quickly, I looked in the mirror before I walked out of it raking my fingers through my hair a little. I didn't look completely disgusting yet, but I didn't look super clean either. I picked up my work shirt that was still on the floor and put my shoes on and began to walk through the door way.

A thought about the lock on the outside of the door popped into my head and I thought to look at it before finding Gerard. I inspected door frame and saw that there wasn't any lock, or even holes where one would have been screwed into the wood. I didn't know what to make of that, I was relieved. I guessed he just wanted me to think I was being locked in to the room so I wouldn't try leaving.

I walked down the white hallway passing an archway into his living room on my right before ending up in the kitchen /dining area. I sat down at his formal dining table that was in what was considered the dining room it was just a space that was open to the kitchen, but in front of it. Within a few minutes Gerard entered the room.

He emerged dressed casually in dark blue jeans, sneakers and a black zip up sweatshirt.
"You can leave your work shirt here." He informed me holding out his hand to take it. He just placed it on the back of the dining chairs. "Let's get in the car." He motioned towards his front door.

As I stepped outside the humidity hit me, it must have been pretty hot out earlier today. The sun was pretty much setting as we walked over to his car that sat in the drive way.

For the first ten minutes I didn't say anything. I was trying to figure out where we were and maybe where we were heading.

"How far is the drive?" I asked hoping maybe he just decided to bring me back to my apartment and that'd be the end of it. Even though I figured that wasn't going to happen.

"About another twenty minutes maybe fifteen." I looked at the clock in the car. It was a few minutes after eight. I wondered and sort of dreaded what was going to happen tonight. I wondered if we were going out earlier for any particular reason.

"Where are we going?"

"A bar."

"Oh..." I didn't really know what else to say at the moment. I didn't really know what to think either, I sort of sat in awe at the situation I was in. It hadn't fully sunk in before. Not even just thinking about the previous night, but just in general. The fact that I was abducted by some guy I don't know, and I had no idea what the rest of my life would be like, or if I would still have one. Not that I really knew before this situation, but now I really, really, didn't know.
I had been in some bad situations before, but in those times I always knew I'd end up alright and that someone would save me. Maybe that's because I was a lot younger and more hopeful? As we continued the drive to the bar, I couldn't get over the thought that I might not actually end up okay this time. I had thought that briefly before but in the fight or flight trying to stay alive sort of way, where you're not putting as much thought to the negative outcomes, but truly living in the present. Now those thoughts almost had an impending doom feeling to them. There might not be anyone to save me if need be.

After we arrived at a small parking lot off of a busy road, Gerard took his keys out of the ignition and got out without saying anything and light up a cigarette. I sat for a minute not knowing whether or not to get out.

"Come on.." He came over and knocked on the window. "We're walking to the bar." He informed as he opened the car door and cigarette smoke blew into my face as I climbed out. I didn't say anything before shutting the door and following him down the sidewalk.

The bar wasn't too far down the street. There was a sort of big guy watching the door talking to some girl, and a few men and women on the sidewalk outside smoking or leaving or coming to the bar. Gerard stomped out his cigarette and then signaled for us to head inside.

The bar was a decent size, it had two acoustic guitar players on a small stage doing a set of cover songs. Some people were up close to the small stage area dancing, there were a decent amount of people in the whole bar though. There wasn't any room at the bar to sit. There were some booths on the outer edges of the place half of them were taken, and there were some tables people were sitting scattered in between the bar and the stage.

"Go sit in that corner booth. Do you want a drink?" I felt Gerard's breath floating around my ear a bit unexpectedly.

"Ok. Just a soda, a coke.." I cupped my hand and spoke toward his ear. The music wasn't super loud but it was still a bit hard to talk and hear over. I took a seat in the booth he pointed to and watched the musicians for a few minutes until Gerard had sat down and slid my soda toward me. I immediately drank about half of the soda not realizing how thirsty I actually was. I began feeling some hunger pangs as well. It had been a while since I had food, I was hoping maybe I'd have an opportunity to eat some point tonight as well.

We sat in the booth sipping our drinks for about twenty minutes just watching the guitarists and the people in the bar until Gerard got up and told me he would be right back in a minute. I watched as he went out the front door. I wasn't sure if he had gone out to smoke or if he had decided to go feed without me being there, but maybe not. In a few minutes Gerard had walked back through the front door just as the musicians put their guitars down for a break.

"Pick someone." Gerard leaned over toward me and spoke.

"What? Why? What do you mean?"

"Just pick someone, maybe someone who's not here with a big group of people." He said and then it clicked in my head, the whole point of why we came out here in the first place. He wanted me to pick the person he was going to feed off of tonight. I looked around the room for a second before saying anything he had caught me off guard. The feelings of anxiety I had early began to creep back into my stomach, it felt very strange to have to nominate someone to go be fed off of, or killed. I didn't completely think he would kill someone tonight, but I really wasn't sure. In that moment I wasn't sure if I could actually handle that, I don't know if I could take responsibility for someone's death. I didn't know if I could handle killing someone. I wasn't too sure if I could be a vampire.

"I'm not sure.." I leaned back over to him still scanning the people around us. "Who would you pick?" I asked trying to get out of making the decision.

"It doesn't matter, I'm asking you to pick someone." I really didn't know what to say. Then my eyes scanned over this one guy who I had noticed was in a group of people. It was only a group of maybe five or six people, but he stuck out because he kept bothering his friends. I had kept looking over toward him every once in a while ever since I sat down. He was being obnoxious. You could tell he was sort of drunk, but you could also tell he was just that kind of person. The type of guy who's trying too hard to be noticed and be the loudest person in the group to get the attention of any women who might be near by.

"Him... I guess.." I nodded in the stranger's direction.

"Really? You had to pick that guy?" I wasn't sure if he was saying that because the stranger's lack of presence would surely be noticed or if it was the fact that he tried to carry himself like a tough guy and looked like he went to the gym, everyday.

"Well, I would not feel as bad for you to feed off of him, out of everyone in here."

"Ok.." He nodded his head peering over at the man who had just punched his friend in the arm 'softly' for whatever reason.

"But that doesn't mean I think he should die though.." He faced me and I looked into his eyes when I said that, I wanted him to know I was serious. I really didn't want anyone to die tonight.

"Well, I can't guarantee anything..." Gerard said shrugging with his arms up a little. I was hoping he was just saying that to tease me.

After a few minutes we both noticed the man went outside drink maybe to smoke? Gerard got up to follow him.

"Come on," He told me to follow him. I really wasn't sure how he was going to approach this guy.

When we got outside Gerard lit up a cigarette and we stood to our left of the door. There were a few people outside smoking around us, the man was standing next to a blonde woman wearing a short black skirt and gold sequence covered top. They were on the other side of the door not so close to us. They were both smoking and he kept trying to talk to her, you could tell they didn't know each other. She looked maybe a little bit interested but she wasn't standing very close to him.

"So..." I whispered looking over at Gerard.

"What?" He spoke softly while exhaling some smoke.

"How are you going to do this?" I moved a little closer to him so no one around us would hear our conversation, even though no one was too, too close to us.

"You'll see, but I have to get him alone." I wasn't sure how he was going to be able to do that. I wasn't sure how much longer the man would stay outside after the woman goes back inside.

We stood outside waiting as Gerard smoked another cigarette and most of the people who had went outside went back in.
It looked like the woman he was talking to thought he was alright. By the time Gerard was stomping his cigarette out we heard the woman trying to get back inside.

"Well, it was really nice talking to you.. I'm going to head back in to find my friends, I hope they didn't leave without me." Then he asked for her number, and we watched as she gave him one that he entered into his cellphone, before she walked back inside. He was finishing the last bit of his cigarette when Gerard walked up to him. I wasn't sure whether or not to follow him, so I stood uneasily where I was.

Gerard went up to the man and shook his hand as he patted his shoulder, then leaned and whispered something into his ear. The man sort of smiled and shook his head. I couldn't make out what they were saying, they were speaking a lot softer than the man and the woman were. After a few minutes of them talking, they separated, the man went back into the bar and Gerard came walking back towards me.

"Follow me." He leaned over and whispered to me as we stared walking towards the parking lot we parked in. "We're going around to the back of the bar. The man is going to meet us in ten minutes in the ally next to the bar." He explained as we walked past some rundown building next to the bar.

"Why is he meeting you? What did you say to him to get him to come?" As soon as we were out of sight of the bar we began walking around the backside of the abandoned building we passed.

"He thinks I'm going to sell him drugs." In a few minutes we arrived to the back of the building and began walking toward the ally. It was a pretty dark and there wasn't anyone in sight.

"Do you want me to hide around the corner or anything? Will him seeing me freak him out if he's 'buying drugs.' I asked as Gerard pulled out another cigarette to smoke and checked the time on his phone.

"You can just stand near that wall on the other side it's dark enough there where he won't even see you. You just have to be quiet."

"How much time until he comes?"

"A few minutes."

"What if he doesn't come?"

"He'll come." He said confidently while taking the last drag of his cigarette then flicking it toward the back of the bar.

"How do you know?" I asked starting to follow him into the ally.

"Because I do. Enough questions! He's going to be here in like a minute." He said frantically waving his hand toward the place he told me to go. "Be quiet!" He whispered as I scurried to the wall of the building next to the bar.

About thirty seconds later I saw the man hesitantly approaching ally. I couldn't see his facial features but I could tell by his body shape as the light from the front of the bar projected onto him before he walked further into the ally.

"Hey!" I heard Gerard speak up just enough so the man would hear him as he waved a hand up to show where he was. Then the man quickened his pace a little to meet Gerard. As I watched I slumped down almost sitting on the ground with an arm across my chest and a hand over my mouth. I knew I wasn't going to make any noise, but I think I did it more out of nerves over the whole ordeal.

I couldn't tell what they were saying from where I was I could only hear a bit of mumbling, and I saw Gerard casually moving as they talked so the man had his back to the wall. Then Gerard begin to reach into his pockets slowly.

A fraction of a second later Gerard grasped the man's neck with both hands while hurling all of his weight at him to throw him into the wall. I could see the man's arms flailing in attempts to throw punches at Gerard, then trying to pry his arms off of him, he even threw kicks at Gerard. As I watched from afar, the homeless man's face full of pain and fear from the previous night had popped into my head. I felt the same ripples of intense anxiety. I was lucky tonight that I didn't have to watch this victim's face as he was asphyxiated. I had a small feeling deep inside that Gerard wasn't going to kill this man, but it was so hard to believe that as I watched him being strangled. I could hear the man gasping for air similar to the homeless man. I held my breath watching until Gerard let the man go and he slumped down into a sitting position against the wall.

I continued watching silently as Gerard got down to his knees. I took a sharp breath in as soon as Gerard swiftly pierced the man's neck with his fangs. It seemed like he fed off of this man a lot for longer tonight. I couldn't tell if it just felt like it took forever or if he actually took a lot of blood. I took a few slow steps toward them, I was a little worried he might have been taking too much blood. I only took about three steps by the time Gerard finally pulled away. I continued walking closer to them as I could make out Gerard looking over at me.

"Did everything go ok?" I whispered out to him.

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know it seems like you took more blood from him.."

"I did. I took a bit more. He's a bigger guy though. He'll be alright. I think it might take him a little bit to come to, though." Gerard and I stood in front of the man for about five minutes. I could see the man was breathing still, it made me feel better.

"Do you think his friends are going to start looking for him yet? Do you think they'll walk over here?"

"I don't know. They might."

"Do you think he told them about the 'drug deal'?"

"I don't know. Maybe. You should really chill out." He said looking into my eyes and I felt sort of dumb for asking those questions. "I know it feels a lot longer to you since this is all new to you, but we've really only been out here with this guy for fifteen minutes, maybe." He was right, it really wasn't that long. It's not like it had been an hour.

A few seconds later the man's eyes began to flutter open and then shut again. Gerard leaned down and put his hands on the man's face.

"Hey," he said shaking him a little bit as the man's eyes opened again. It seemed like he was really out of it. It reminded me of when I was fed off of and how dizzy I felt afterward. "Look at me," Gerard said shaking the man a little more, the man obeyed. "You came into the ally to get drugs. The drug dealer tried to stiff you. He had a gang of people who knocked you out and took some of your money." Gerard spoke to the man as their eyes were locked, the man looked like he was in a trance. "You're going to go to sleep now, and wake up feeling better." He finished and the man's eyes closed.

"Is that it?" I asked watching the man fall back asleep against the building. The spot Gerard had bitten him looked like it was already starting to fade. I was amazed at how quickly it began healing. "Are you going to put a band aide on him?"

"Yeah, that's it. No, he doesn't need one. He'll wondered why he has it if I do that." Gerard said as he began shifting the man a bit, then he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket.

"You're taking his money?"

"Well... yeah, that's part of the story I told him to believe. How do you think I pay my bills?" He responded. I had been wondering how he did pay for anything. "I'm not taking all of it. Just... a few twenties." He said chuckling to himself before sliding the money into his own pockets then putting the man's wallet close to him.

"Isn't he going to think it's weird though that someone went through the trouble of robbing him and only took some of his money?" I asked, I wasn't trying to suggest that he take all of the man's money, but that's just not usually how being mugged worked.

"Well, he might, he might not. I told him that's what happened, that someone only took some of his money. Typically I would take all of it. I just figured it might make you feel better if I only took some of it. I didn't want you getting all weird about something else besides worrying if he's still alive or not." Gerard said crossing his arms looking over at me. I didn't know what to say back to him. I was surprised that he wanted me to feel better, but I was glad that he did. He was right, I would have felt bad about it too. I probably would have told him he didn't have to take all the money too. I sort of felt like smiling.

"Justin!" Gerard and I looked up at each other. We heard someone coming toward the ally.

"We have to go!" Gerard whispered to me while snatching my hand and pulling me out of the ally with him. We ran from the ally the same way we came to it.

"Do you think his neck will heal up before his friends find him?" I asked Gerard as we got far enough away from the scene and he let go of my hand as we changed our pace to a walk.

"I think so, they heal up really fast. I also don't think they'll pay that much attention to his neck right when they find him." Gerard spoke as we came near the car. Gerard lit a cigarette before he unlocked the car and we both climbed in. He started the car and rolled down his window.