The Fox and the Flower

English wasn't all that bad. I mean, we spent the whole period just asking questions for the report so it's not like we learned anything. The rest of school was... decent. Most of the periods in between classes I spent talking to Shirley and we ate lunch together outside. She told me some about what life at home is like for her. Apparently her dad ran out on her and her mom when he found out her mom was pregnant. She says she's okay with it, that her dad was probably a selfish bastard any way, but I don't buy it. Not for a second.

When the days over and we go our separate ways, I take the time to look for a thrift shop. I'm going to find a piano or so help me I'll cut my hair to my ears. My fingers have been itching to play something and if I don't find an instrument soon I'll become one of those crazy people that beat pots and pans on the street. The fact that I'm even thinking about it tells me I'm half way there. But there is seriously nothing here. I mean, sure a car wash is great if you have a car. A super market is practical when you want food. And a gas station is self explanatory. But would it kill the whole town if they put an arcade in or something?

After searching for a couple of hours it's starting to get dark and I've already been pushing it by walking around by myself. If I don't get home soon I'm either really going to make my aunt and uncle have second thoughts about me or end up getting jumped...again. And I doubt anyone's going to magically come and save me this time. My lucks been well spent in that department. Retracing my steps as best I can, I come up to a small dollar store when it starts pouring. When I say pouring, I mean pouring. This was like pebbles being thrown at your head pouring. Fantastic. Flipping my hood up, I retreat from the rain inside the store with a couple of other people who had the same idea. It wasn't suppose to rain today. Sure, there were clouds and stuff in the sky, but I couldn't even smell it when I was walking. Not that I mind. I like the rain and all, but it's standing between me and getting home and that can't happen.

For awhile I just stand there in the store. Listen to some people complain about the weather as they watch with me out the window and pray that it gets better. There's a couple cheap figurines on the shelves and I stare at them for a little while. Then I stick my face in front of a fan to sound like a robot for a couple of minutes. I even bounce a 99cent bouncy ball for a bit until the mere sound of it just becomes mind numbing. This is ridiculous. I can't stay here forever. It's just rain, Charlotte. Not flaming arrows. Since when did you become such a baby. Looking up at the clock on the wall I feel my stomach just drop. 9:23. Well fuck.

I don't think anymore, I just do. Putting my hood back up I walk towards the front of the store and stroll out the door. The rain pelts onto my back and I'm soaked within ten seconds of being outside. It's really dark now and the sun has been long ago set. Navigating my way through the rain by the glow of the faded street lights I eventually find myself at the play ground. The rains starting to get harder and the wind has joined in on this little party. My jacket has been soaked to the point that it hangs off my frame, but I still pull the hood down over my face. Even when it's wet I can still smell him. He must've worn this jacket a lot for it to last this long. But that's a good thing I guess. It calms me down.

Okay, if I could find this place in the state I was in that night, I can definitely find my house from here. And I'm right. It doesn't take me long till I find myself jogging along side a dirt road. When I come up to the house, I take a moment on the porch to breathe and just enjoy not being drenched in water. But my relief is short lived when I step through the door.

"Young lady, do you have any idea what time it is?!" My aunts voice is high pitched and shrill.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Sorry nothin', it's ten o'clock at night and not a word from you since early this mornin'," my uncle pipes in, standing up out of his arm chair "You have any idea how worried your aunt was about you?! Do you?!"

"I don't mean to cause any-"

"No, you don't mean to do anything. Ya know what? You gonna start livin' in this house, ya gonna start actin' like it. Now you go march right back outside and carry all three of those firewood stacks to the front porch."

"Now Pete, that's-" My aunt Grace tries.

"And you best get up bright and early tomorrow 'cause you gonna do the same thing again. Now get!"

I think I just stand there at first. My face stricken like he just slapped me. Which in my opinion he might as well have. But I don't say anything. No, instead I just look at him and throw my back pack on the floor. My body is physically exhausted, and my mind is just washed from anything that makes me give a damn. I'm too tiered to think clearly and the next words that come out of my mouth were not thought through.

"'Get'?! You want me to 'get'?! Fine! I'll get!"

Gripping the handle, I throw the door open and run out. Everything is just a blur to me as I run out into the wooded area. My aunt's calling after me from the porch, but I don't even so much as look over my shoulder. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to dissect the situation until reason is the only thing left. I just want to get away. Get away from all of it. My uncle, my aunt, Oklahoma, and all this bogus Soc Greaser stuff. Most of all, I want my life in Texas back.

The rain has reduced to a low drizzle now, but the wind has started to pick up and every breeze feels like a rush of ice through my skeleton. I don't look where I'm going and I think my foot catches on a root, 'cause I crumple to the ground under an oak tree. My face just dives into the mud and any energy that was left before is gone. Picking myself up, I force my body to sit back against the tree and take deep breaths. The rain suddenly just stops and has left me to sit drenched in the cold wind. Snapping my head back against the trunk I stare dazed up at the sky. It's at this point when I feel warm streaks running down my face that I realize I'm crying.

I try to make myself stop. I try to force the tears back, but they keep coming and eventually I just let them flow. My hearts pounding in my chest and for a moment it's the only thing I hear. Not the wind in the trees, not the rustling of birds still awake, just my heart throbbing in my ears. Pulling my knees to my chest, I wrap my arms around them, and bury my face in the sleeves. My heart settles as the smell of sage becomes apparent and I let my eyes close. The woods are more welcoming then that house anyway.