Dance Colors Our Life and Makes It Bright Again

Sunday.

Today I moved back to my parent's house and Taylor and Ethan went off to wherever they were spending this vacation, something about Haiti I think.

I arrived at my parents house around 4am and was quietly greeted by Sammy who decided he'd spend the night with me in my room. By the time he'd fallen asleep he'd told me all about the band competition, how they got 2nd and everything in between.

Although he's asleep, the lamp in my small room is still on allowing me to look around my room.

The walls are still the light green color I'd begged my parents to paint it when I was about 7 and it contrasted beautifully with the dark hardwood floor. My sheets are a clean lacey white and the warm gray blanket my grandmother had knitted me covers Sam's sleeping body at the foot of my bed.

All around my room are bunches of pictures of me, my family and my friends. Me and Sam at his first peewee football game, Taylor hugging me on a camping trip when i was 8 and even a picture of me and my parents and I after I'd graduated kindergarten.

My curtains are sheer white and lace and just behind them the sun is starting coming up. But I just can't bring myself to fall asleep.

I'm back at my parents house. I haven't felt safe being here in 9 years. And even though I have Sam at the end of my bed and I know he'd protect me with his life, I can't help but feel paranoid.

I don't want to be here, but I don't have a choice.

So instead I'm mentally trying to get myself prepared for whatever this stay will bring and hope that if worst comes to worst I'm still alright.

I let myself lay down on what ever room I have left of my bed, Sam's a lot bigger than I am, and try to get some rest. I don't know what'll happen today but it might be easier to deal with if I get some sleep.

But still as hard as I try, sleep just doesn't come to me so I kiss the top of Sam's head as decide I go out to the kitchen and look for something to eat.

As soon as I walk out of the hallway leading to my bedroom, he's standing right in front of me.

My dad.

He's putting on his boots and other winter wear. Going off to work, and for a minute I seriously consider running back to my room before he can see me but. I'd imagine he'd probably find my car and come to my room to see me.

So instead, I just stand at the entrance of the hallway, frozen.

He lets out a sigh after he gets his jacket on and stand ups straight, stretching his back. I could see his job as a Construction Manager in Manchester, New Hampshire was starting to weigh down on him. He used to actually be a worker and did a lot of heavy lifting but Sam told me he got promoted a couple months ago.

He turns around towards where I'm standing and jumps a little when he sees me. It scares me to where I jump too but I still stand there and wait for his next move.

"Daniella? Babe, is that you?" He walks over to me and gently lays his hand against my cheek. He rubs his calloused thumb against my skin and pulls me into a bear hug. "Shit Dani. Look how big you've gotten." I silently hug him back and it feels like I'm in his arms forever.

He feels warm like I remember him being. Before he hated me. I almost want to cry but I don't have the strength. He pulls me back at arms length and examines me.

"Hazel eyes, brown hair, you're still my baby girl." He kisses the top of my head and pulls me in for a hug again.

Damn I'm getting emotional. He hasn't called me his baby girl in so long. It almost felt like years.

"I have to be getting off to work now, I don't want to be late. I'll see the two of you when I get back, alright?"

"Kay."I whisper. He kisses my cheek, grabs his hat and he's out the door without another word. I'm still at a loss for what to say and spend a couple minutes standing where I was before moving on to the kitchen and making myself a bowl of cereal.

6 AM now. I toss the empty bowl into the sink and lay down on the couch where I fall asleep.

~~~~~

I wake up to the sound of my phone vibrating beside me.

2pm already? I see Richie's name on the caller ID and rush to pick it up before it goes to voicemail.

"Richie? What's up?" I sit up and rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"Did you just wake up? It's like two in the afternoon."

"Yea, I did and I Know... What's up?"

"I just wanted to know if you wanted to come over and just talk or something."

"Um, sure, I don't see why not, is something wrong?"

"Nah, we just haven't really talked lately, I wanted to catch up, ya know?"

"Yea, sure! When should I come?"

"Maybe in an hour?"

"Okay, I'll see you then."

"Cool, see ya."

"Bye."

I hang up the phone and get up to stretch. My muscles feel sore from all the dancing I did yesterday. I walk over to my room to see Sam sprawled out on my bed and talking on the phone.

"I know Jace. Yea. I know. Yea I loved that too. Mhmm." He said into the phone, obviously talking to Jasey. I walked over and tapped his foot. He told Jasey to hang on a minute and turned over to look at me with his hand on the reciever.

"I'm gonna go to Richie's house to hang out okay? Do you want me to drop you at Jasey's or something?"

"Yea, that'd be fine,"

"Okay well get out I need to change."

He rolls his eyes at me but does what I say, closing the door behind him as he goes.

I go over to my drawer to pick out something to wear and notice that I hadn't seen any of these clothes in months. I dig through all the piles of organized clothes and fell something I hadn't left there at the bottom.

A present? The box is wrapped in map wrapping paper and a glittery white string was tied in a bow on the side. On top of the skinny box lies an envelope with Sam's sloppy cursive scrawled on it.

'Don't open til your birthday on the 28th. No peeking, I know you!
-Sam'

I smile to myself and put the present back underneath my clothes. Sam is literally my most favorite person ever.

I settle on a pair of sweatpants and a big vintage sweater, grab my charger and call to Sam so we can leave.

Jasey's house is on the way to Richie's, so five minutes after dropping off Sam, I'm there.

I climb out of my car and go up to the door which Richie answers before I have the chance to ring the bell.

He grabs my hands to pull me in and I just laugh at how hyper he is.

"You sure seem excited to see me to day Rich." Say as I rid myself of my coat and boots.

He makes a disgusted face at me "Ew, please don't call me that it makes me feel like an old man who wears diapers and uses a walker." He takes a seat on his couch and I sit beside him.

"Where's Delainey?" Delainey's his room mate and best friend. They've known each other since first grade.

He rests his elbow against the back of the couch and lays his head in his palm.

"I think she went to hang out with her boyfriend." He shrugs. He hates her boyfriend. Or anyone she dates for that matter. All the guys she's brought home to meet her so far, he said, have all been jerks and ended up breaking her heart. Leaving him to put her back together and build her spirits back up.

"You don't like him do you."

"I don't know, there's just something off with this one. Like, he just seems too ..."

"Touchy?"

"Yea. Like all her wants to do is just like have sex with her or kiss her." He shrugs,"I think he's just using her for that."

"I'm not saying she's like a whore or anything because she's not and I love her to death, but you know her better than I do and maybe you should talk to her about how she kinda takes her relationships too fast. You should tell her to slow it down a bit."

"I probably should. That's true she kinda trusts guys to easily in that way. I'll talk to her."

"Good." Even though he told me that he's gay, I've always felt more like he's bisexual. Or at least in a way that he has feelings for Delainey. I could tell by the way he sometimes looks at her and how he acts after she has bad break up that he loves her so much more than just as a sister or best friend. I just don't think he wants to think of it that way. I've got to talk to him about that someday.

"So how are you and Chase?" He asks suddenly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you know what's going on between you guys yet? Is it getting any clearer?"

I lay my head against the back cushion."No, it's really not. And I don't think it helps that we've kinda been avoiding each other since the lock-in. Or at least, I mean, we haven't talked since."

"Why not?"

" Not a clue."

"Man, that's gotta be frustrating."

"You dot even know the half of it."

"Well what do you think about him?"

"In what way?"

"I dunno. I guess, like, do you think he's cute?"

"Well yea. I just." I groan Chase is such a hard topic to talk about. "I don't know where we stand. I don't know if we hate each other, if we're enemies, if he likes me, if we're friends. I just don't know."

"Well how do you feel when it comes to him?"

"I dunno."

"Do you hate him? Are you in love with him? Do you wanna fuck him..."
He trails off.

I slap him hard on his leg."Richard Alan DiCamillo!"

"Ow! Damn sorry!"

"I don't know I guess I don't hate him. It's just that he knows exactly how to get on my nerves, and sometimes it's like he does it on purpose, sometimes it's not on purpose and I can tell and other times he's just really nice. Like, I talked with him at the lock-in for like 3 hours before we fell asleep and he seems really nice it's just, I don't know."

"Okay, we'll that clears things up for me a lot. I kinda see what's going on now. Maybe he's like sick or somethin', ya know? Like bipolar."

"That's what I thought, but he said he's not."

"Could be denial."

"Yea, but his sister's said he's not too. I mean, Cal did."

"Hmm well obviously it's something that causes him to be like that, we just don't know what it is."

"Yea."

We sit in silence for a minute before he speaks up again.

"Hey, Dan, are you keeping something from me?"

I feel the blood drain from my face for a second before I snap out of it and open my mouth to speak but he interrupts me.

"Cause you've seemed down lately and you've been passing it off as being nothing, but I can tell it's definitely something. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I look down at my fingers guiltily and nod. Again I feel guilty about how he'd told me his deepest darkest secret that not even his parents know about yet and I hadn't told him about my parents. I get that sad feeling in the pit of my stomach and try not to cry, but as I look up into his eyes, I can feel my eyes start to water and he scoots closer so he can wrap his arms around my and I cry softly onto his chest.

After a few minutes of crying and Richie rubbing my back and wiping away my tears, I tell him everything, not even bothering to leave out a single detail.