Jeans of a Star

The look on Dave's face was enough to make anyone stop dead in their tracks, so of course it left me unable to move, though I wasn't sure I would have if I could. As nice as running away sounded, I knew I couldn't keep running forever, because eventually I'd end up right back where I started.

I was terrified for those few long moments that I was left in limbo, but I couldn't run anymore.

Really, there was nothing quite like the feeling of laying everything out for someone - all of your feelings and emotions - and having them just look back at you with the most confusing expression on their face. It was impossible for me to decipher anything that Dave was feeling, because it looked like he hadn't quite finished deciphering it himself.

He stood in front of me, while I stood wrapped in his blankets, with his mouth opening and closing as though a thousand thoughts were forming but never got a chance to be finished.

I had never been the type to ask anyone for anything. Hell, I couldn't ask Dave for a ride home, so the fact that I was saying anything at all must have proved just how desperate I was feeling.

"Well," I said, pressing my hand deeper into my hip. "Don't just stand there like an asshole."

Dave's eyebrows furrowed at that, a half snort, half laugh coming from his throat. He let out this strange laugh like he couldn't believe what I had just said. "I'm the asshole?"

Was that really even a question? If our lives were some sick love story that was turned into a film, he'd be the bad guy without a doubt. They'd have him dressed all in black with red eye contacts just so you'd know, right off the bat, that this guy was bad news, so how on earth could he assume himself to be anything but an asshole.

"Well, yeah, isn't that obvious?"

Dave let out a deep breath, looking to the ground as he ran a hand through his hair. I wasn't sure what was going through his head and I hated not knowing exactly what he was thinking at any given moment.

Dammit, why couldn't this be one of those movies with a radiation explosion and super powers because god knows I could really benefit from the ability to mind read? Or at least be able to speed up time so I wouldn't have to spend so much of it waiting for Dave to pull his thoughts together.

His eyes left the ground to look back up at me, and I could tell immediately that the whole thing wasn't a joke anymore. That odd comic tingle in his eye that he always had just vanished, and for some reason, it felt more Dave than anything before.

That look caused my throat to close up, forcing me to take swallow deeply and my eyes to blink like crazy. There was this part of me that wanted to crack some sort of joke or make a comment about how inappropriate we must look to anyone walking by, but using my usual defense mechanism didn't seem right anymore.

I'd already told Dave everything that I felt, so it seemed pointless to try and block myself from him or my feelings any longer. All I could do was look at him while he looked back at me, and when he began speaking, I could feel my walls breaking down even more, though I didn't know what lay on the other side.

"El, I -" Dave paused, running his hand through his hair. "You really think that? That I'm an asshole?"

Did I really think that Dave was an asshole? Yes. Maybe. Probably not. I didn't know what was running through his mind or what made him act the way he did. I didn't know why he'd forgotten all about me when he left for L.A. All I knew was that I missed him every day when he was gone.

"I - I guess I just -"

"Eleanor," Dave interrupted. "I swear, if I would've known that you - if I had known - god, I swear I never would have left."

I didn't know what to say to that, and suddenly I was even more frozen than I was before. It felt like no part of my body belonged to me anymore - not even my mind - and I couldn't get anything to make sense. I must've looked like a complete and total loon, because Dave spoke again, taking a step closer to me.

"El, I'm so sorry," Dave said, shaking his head. "I can't believe I - I'm so sorry."

"Dave -"

I didn't know what I was going to say, but thankfully I didn't have to come up with anything. Before I could speak anymore, Dave took one final step towards me, so close that are bodies were finally touching again. That touch rushed from finger tips out to the very breath I was breathing, and it seemed so impossible to feel so many things at once.

His eyes looked down at me with this look strange look that I had never seen before, and I suddenly realized that he was just as confused as I was.

"El," he breathed out, his hands trembling as he looked at me.

My name was the last thing that left his lips as he leaned forward, his breath falling in slow gasps against my skin. I honestly couldn't tell which was one of us was more nervous, but when he finally closed the gap between us and my lips were on his, I swear there was no better feeling in the world.