I Will Soon Forget the Color of Your Eyes

Chapter 13

The tension within the two girls tent much have triples the second those words left the Scottish girls mouth, Trisha turned to stare at her best friend open mouthed and eyes wide with shock. Nicole had never dared speak to her like that; she would always just roll over and accept whatever torture Trisha had been handing out, no matter who it was. Now however, she sounded angry and concerned and disappointed.

“What did I do?” Trisha spat at her, “me? I got rid of a fucking problem that what I did.”

Nicole could feel tears welling in her eyes at the pure hatred that flowed through Trisha's voice as she spoke but she had to do this, whatever Trisha had done to Vic was too far.

“Shut up Trisha!” she nearly shouted, “do you have any idea how fucking mental you sound right now, you cow.” The Scottish slang insult rolling of her tongue. “Vic is not a problem! He is anything but a problem, he is a nice guy, a genuine nice guy who is caring and funny and loyal and sweet and he is probably the best thing that could ever have happened to Kellin! You treat him like he is dirt; you treat him like he is nothing because of his eyes?! He can’t fucking help it, he was born like that, it’s a genetic fucking thing, it’s not something that he should be ashamed of or bullied over! That’s like bullying someone who is blond because they are blond, or bullying someone who is short because they are short, or bullying someone who has small fucking tits because they have small tits. Jesus fucking Christ Trisha do you not realise how fucking pathetic that is?!”

Kellin turned to Nicole, completely and utterly shocked at her outburst, as she had continued ranting her accent had gotten broader, her typical Scottish temper finally making an appearance. The Quinn’s had heard of the temper Nicole contained many times from her family and friends, but they had never witnessed it first hand. Kellin was actually a little scared, but his fear was over ridden by a new found respect and admiration for her. No body had ever dared to speak to Trisha like that.

“It’s like bullying someone who is gay or bi-sexual because they are gay or bi-sexual,” Nicole whispered now, knowing full well that Trisha would know exactly what she meant. Nicole herself was bi, and had told Trisha. Trisha had been fully supportive and even helped her get her first date with a girl, “what did you do to him Trish?”

“i-I, fuck.” Was all Trisha would say, she had tears in her eyes and was biting her lip, she looked lost, she looked conflicted.

“Fucking say something Trisha, are you even sorry?” Kellin shouted at her, loosing his cool as well now, he had stood aside and let nicole finish, knowing that if anyone could get through to his sister it would be her, “you do realise he might fucking die?! He hit his head on a rock when you pushed him into the water, the cut on his neck? Yeah that wasn’t bad, he would have lived, but now?! Now he might t die! And if he doesn’t then he might have brain damage, he might loose his memory, he might not even be able to walk or speak or eat or do anything for himself ever again because of what you have done! Do you feel no remorse?!”

He stood in the doorway of the tent, teas streaming down his face as he yelled at his sister, the realisation and reality of what might happen to his Vic finally hitting him, it felt like the world was collapsing in on him.

“I can’t loose him, not when I only just got him Trish. How could you?” Kellin sounded broken, to his sister and to Nicole; neither knew exactly what to say to him.

“I don’t, I just don’t understand Kellin?! What changed!? You used to be jus as bad as me, if not worse! You called him a freak every single day; you made fun of his eyes just as much as I did?! How is it okay for you to have done that but it’s not ok for me to bully him?!”

Trisha had a fair point of course, Kellin had bullied Vic, he had made him feel worthless and disgusting and like he was a monster. But of course, Kellin knew all this already; the difference was Kellin knew it was lies. Kellin had always known, right from the very beginning, right from the first time he called Vic a freak that it was bullshit. Vic wasn’t a freak, he was beautiful, he was unique and he was lovely.

“The difference Trish? The difference is I always felt bad, after every single name, every single prank, every single time one of us would do something to him I felt bad! It was just too late for me to change! I spent so long bullying him it became like a routine, I hated it, I fucking despised every second of it, but I did because it was what I knew! The difference, Trish, is that I am so fucking sorry for everything I put him through, because it hurt him, it hurt him so bad.”

“Hey, Kells its ok, he knows you’re sorry, he knows it” Nicole said rushing to her friend’s side as he began to sob harder than he had been before, “he understands ok?”

“I can’t loose him nicole I just can’t” he sobbed into her shoulder, he was a mess, he was distraught, lost and confused. It was the look of pure loss on his face that finally made Trisha see sense.

Their childhood flashed before her eyes. Times form when they were young, very young no older than four or five.

They were running around in the Fuentes’ back garden, it was the middle of summer and roasting hot. Mama and papa Fuentes had turned the garden sprinklers on and the children were running and jumping, rolling around in the damp grass, running in circles trying to avoid the spray but ending up soaked anyway. They were happy, they were young and innocent. Vic and Trisha were on the ground laughing at each other, both having slipped on the mud caused by the water. Trisha had mud splattered across her clothes whereas Vic had managed to get it on his face.

Trisha turned to him, still laughing and pointed at his face, laughing about the mud before looking up again, the water from the sprinkler was now directly above them, the sun shining through the water causing a rainbow like effect to shine through.

“Your eyes are like a rainbow vic. Pretty, like a rainbow.” She had said to the boy lying beside her, innocence and kindness in her voice as they lay in silence for another few moments before jumping up and running around again.

There were many other happy memories flooding back to Trisha now, memories of Sunday lunches and Christmas dinners, of birthday parties where they would play pin the tail on the donkey or pass the parcel, young and innocent, rarely ever even thinking about the fact that Vic had one blue eye and one brown eye.

In seconds she had gone from hating Vic's guts, despising his entire existence, thinking he was disgusting to thinking these exact same things about herself.

How could she have treated someone she used to call a friend the way she had? How could she turn him away and make him feel worthless, make hi feel useless and disgusting. She hated herself. She hated they way she had treated Vic.

Of course, she still found his eyes weird and un-ordinary, but was that even a bad thing? Yes Vic was different, but since when was being different a bad thing? Since when did how you look define you?

Trisha was god honest confused. She was confused about how she could possibility have been justifying the way she treated Vic. She was confused that she would even treat him that way in the first place, because Trisha wasn’t horrible to anyone else, she didn’t bully anyone else, she didn’t judge other people, she didn’t pick out other peoples differences or flaws (not that Vic’s eyes are a flawy of course) she was an ok human being to the rest of the world.

But not to Vic.

For reason, somewhere down the line Trisha had convinced herself everything she said to Vic was true, and theta he needed to know it, but it wasn’t and she should never had treated him the way she did. She knew that now.

“Im so sorry” it was barely a whisper, but Kellin and Nicole heard her.

“You’re sorry?!” Kellin nearly shouted, Nicole still rubbing circles on his back comfortingly.

“Yes Kellin im fucking sorry! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I don’t know why I would do something like that, I don’t know why I would treat Vic like that. We used to be friends, we used to laugh and joke around together when we were kids. I don’t know why I said the things I have said, I don’t know why I did the tings I did. I don’t know how I justified what I was doing.” She shot back at her brother, tears of her own now surfacing, “im a horrible person aren’t i? im a disgrace I cant believe I old treat someone like that, I don’t treat anyone other than Vic like that so why I d it to him?! He didn’t deserve to be bullied the way I bullied him,”

“This isn’t about that anymore! That’s not fucking important anymore, because who fucking knows, Vic might wake up and have no fucking clue that you were ever mean to him, he might wake up and not remember a single thing about who you are, about what you did to him, about the way you made him feel. He might not remember me Trish.” Kellin’s voice broke as he forced the last sentence out, a fresh wave of tears surfacing.

Trisha’s face paled, her shoulders dropped and her eyes widened. She had tried to kill someone?! What?! She has no idea what she was thinking, it was like she wasn’t, like she was having an out of body experience, one minuet she was laughing at some story nicole was telling and the next she was planning on getting rid of Vic, telling herself she was a problem.

She gasped, loudly, alerting her brother and best friend to her state of shock and confusion.

“Trish, what is it?” nicole asked with genuine concern, because even though Trisha pissed her off something awful sometimes, the girl as still he best friend and she loved her to pieces. Sometimes it was like Trish was two different people, when she was with Nicole or Kellin or a few other select people when they ere alone she was kind and funny and nice. But when other people were involved she changed, like she put on a mask and faked her way through a social life.

“I don’t know why I did that! I don’t know why I treated Vic the way I did! I don’t why i was so cruel! I don’t know what going on with me ‘Cal, I need you to help me, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. How could I do that to someone, how could I try and kill someone, how could I say the things I said to Vic?!”

“I don’t know Trish, I don’t.” Kellin whispered back, Nicole unable to speak as she left his side and ran to her best friend, trying to calm her down, she was hysterical.

“Guys?!” Kellin heard his mother calling, he immediately stood, “Kellin, are you ready to go? The paramedics just called me asking when we were arriving!”

“Did they say anything else? Is he ok? Is he awake? Is he alive?”

“I don’t know anything Kellin, come on, we need to go!”

“Ok mom, ill meet you by the car in two seconds!” he called after he as she had already turned and started walking away.

“Trisha, I don’t know what going on with you, but this person, the person that bullies Vic and tried to physically injure people?! That’s not my sister. I love you, but I swear to god if Vic is not ok I will make sure you go to prison, or to a fucking mental hospital. We will talk more when I get back, I am furious at you, but you are obviously really upset, I can tell you are genuinely sorry and shocked at how you have acted. I still love you, you’re my big sister, always will be. Im still mad at you though”

“Kells you do realise that made no sense at all right?” Trisha asked, unable to keep the small giggle in at her brother’s idiocy.

“Yes I do, but shut up.” He turned to leave, walking a few steps before heading back and engulfing the two girls in a hug, whispering in Nicole’s ear, “make sure Trish is ok, its obvious something is going on with her and thank you for sticking up for Vic like that and just being amazing”

“Anytime Kells,” she replied as Kellin pulled away. He shot one last glance at the two girls before getting in the car with his mom, sighing heavily at everything that had just happened.

“you ready Kellin?” his mom asked kindly, she had noticed almost immediately the change hat had occurred between he son and Vic, she was totally ok with their relationship, she was just scared for her son now, what if Vic wasn’t ok? What if he died? Would Kellin be ok?

“Just drive, I need to see him.” Was all her son said, voice emotionless and even.