I Will Soon Forget the Color of Your Eyes

Kellin's POV
"Everything is going to be fine." I told myself as I drove into the school parking lot. It was the first time back at school since our camping trip. I still don't know why my parents planned a trip 3 weeks after school started but I didn't really mind. Less school, right? What I did mind was that now I had to face Matty and Beau and Josh who all still hate Vic. And I can't talk to Vic because he and Mike are inseperable. Maybe I should try homeschooling.

I pulled into my parking spot in the front of the school and took a moment to recollect my thoughts. How can I stand up to my friends? We've had the same lifestyle since Kindergarten and now I expect them to just change it all? It's not going to work. Even if it did, I would immediately be labeled an outcast. Sure I'd be able to be with Vic then but there's still Mike. Am I willing to give up my top-dog status to try to salvage a relationship that's been torn to parts? Can I really give up everything I've worked so hard for just to fight for Vic against Mike? Mike would win. That's for damn sure.

Of course I'm willing to do that. I would give up everything and anything to be with Vic. I would give up anythiing and everything to change the way we treated him his whole life. I wish I could change the past but I can't; that doesn't mean I can't change the future, though. It's just not going to be easy.

Before I knew what was happening Matty jumped in my car through the sunroof, Beau crawled in through the passenger door, and Josh hopped into the backseat. Suddenly I was surrounded by the three people I was most familiar with. Although they were dicks, I quite missed their frantic personalities and crazy antics.

"So what's the scoop?" Beau asked excitedly pushing my shoulder.
"What do you mean?" I asked, anxiety coursing through my veins. What would they say if they knew the truth? Would they really care? They're my friends, right? Either way, I wasn't really willing to risk it.

"Fuentes!" Matty screamed in my ear. "What'd you pull on the camping trip?!" Part of me wanted to lie right to their faces. Tell them I set a snake lose in his tent or filled his water bottle with lake water, but I just couldn't. Thinking about those things made me sick. I couldn't do that to Vic, not anymore. Could I?

"Nothing happened really." I said. They all stared at me blankly and I could feel myself getting shaky. I had to think of something quick or they'd hate me. They'd make fun of me. "Well I mean, I had this awesome prank planned, until the dumbass fell in the lake and fucked himself up for me." I laughed nervously and they all joined in.

What was I doing? I can't be saying these things about Vic- this is exactly why Mike wanted me to stay away from him. But something about being here with these three made it impossible to be who I was with Vic. All I could think about was what they would think of me. Would they ridicule me? Would they shame me? Would I be the new target? I can't handle that. No one has ever made fun of me. No one has ever been against me.

"Wha- What happened?!" Beau asked when his laughter subsided.

"Well he went out to the dock and he fell in- cut his throat and bashed his head on a rock." I said. They immediatly started laughing again and, unaware of what else to do, I joined in on their chorus of maniacal laughter.

"Too bad he didn't hit his eye, maybe it woulda popped out!" Josh said making a hook with his finger and motioning as if scooping his eye out with a 'pop' sound coming from his mouth. We all laughed again.

"Would have looked better at least!" Matty laughed. Why am I laughing? Why am I not saying anything? I should be furious! This is my boyfriend they're talking about! I just couldn't find it in me to stick up to these three.

"Speak of the ugly!" Beau said out the window. I looked that way and saw Vic walking by himself to the front of the school. Vic was alone, there was no Mike, I could talk to him. I could sort everything out. I could fix this! Except there was part of me that knew if I did that- I would quickly slide to the bottom of the food chain. Especially with Beau, Matty, and Josh getting out of the car and making their way to Vic. I quickly got out of my car and followed them- unaware of what else to do.

"Hey Viccypoo! We've missed you!" Josh said upon approach. I was a few paces behind he hadn't yet noticed me. Vic had a bandage on his head where the cut was and the cut on his throat was healed, now leaving only a faint scar. I felt so sorry for him. He was physically damaged now to match his emotional damage from me.

"Cut it out guys." Vic said as Beau threw his arm over Vic's shoulders. "I thought we were over this!" He said struggling in Beau's grip.

"Over it? Why would we be over?" Matty asked. "It's so fun, right Vic?" That was when I got over to them and Vic just looked at me. When he looked at me I didn't see someone with different colored eyes, I saw someone beautiful. I didn't see a freak, I saw perfection. At that moment though, I saw despair and desperation. I saw Vic looking at me and pleading with me to stop them. Begging me to speak up and live up to his expectations. I'm sorry Vic. I can't do that. I can't be who you want me to be. I can't do that to myself.

"Yeah. Vic." I said looking at my shoes. "It's fun, right?" I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look anywhere but my red toms which had suddenly become the most interesting things in the world. I heard Vic gasp before Matty and Beau carried him off towards the school- probably to do some horrible thing that I could have stopped if I wasn't so selfish.

But I'm sorry, Vic. I'm so so sorry.