I Will Soon Forget the Color of Your Eyes

It had been three days since the whole incident with Kellin and I haven't left my bed unless I needed to shower or use the bathroom. I had been just missing school. I told my mom that I wasn't "feeling well", and I gave her the same excuse as to why I wasn't eating.
I think the most upsetting thing about the whole situation, was that Kellin hadn't called or stopped by since that day.
I had been going back and forth between deciding if I should call him or not. After all the tears I had dealt with within the last few days though, told me I should wait for him to come around. I just couldn't understand what I did this time. I suppose I did deserve it though. I mean, things were going great for awhile. Life has a way of fucking that up for you, so I guess I should've expected it. More than anything though, I wish I had died that day everything happened with Trisha. If I had, I wouldn't have to deal with all this. I wasn't saying that I wanted to die, but if life gave me an opportunity of doing so, I wouldn't just throw it away. I wouldn't beg for my life. Why should I? I haven't got a reason to.
As more tears began to spill down my face, I heard a light knock on my bedroom door. Like always, I got excited and hoped it was Kellin. I cleared my throat and called out, "come in!"
My mom opened the door, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed.
"Victor. We need to talk. I know you're feeling ill, but you're getting behind in school. I think we need to take you to a doctor. You're only going to get worse before you get better, and the doctors can help."
"I hate doctors, you know that."
"I know, but school is going to become an issue."
"It's fine, Ill just go to school. Ill be fine, I promise. I think I may be feeling better anyways." I lied, avoiding her eyes.
"If you say so. But if it gets worse, you're going to a doctor, whether you like it or not." She told me, raising an eyebrow.
"Fine. Deal." I replied, kissing her cheek as some sort of reassurance.
She gave me a tired smile, but didn't push it anymore. She left the room, and suddenly I was overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions. Deciding it was better to sleep than feel, I dozed off, not wanting to ever wake up from the temporary escape.

When I woke up the morning, I wish I hadn't. I had a headache from crying so much, and I could actually feel my eyes swelling.
Groaning, I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and instantly regretted it. My eyes were still bloodshot and swollen, along with the places around my eyes.
As much as I didn't want to go to school, I knew I had to. I hated the doctor, plus, there was nothing actually wrong with me- physically anyway.
I plugged in my straightener, figuring I should do something different with my hair to distract from my eyes.
While waiting for it to be ready to use, I couldn't help but think about how stupid I was. Did I actually think that Kellin would change his ways for a loser like me? I guess in a sense I didn't really deserve him anyways. It was always that way, and yet I still expected that to change as well.
With tears threatening to spill, I decided that not thinking about the situation would be best.
"Vic! Lets go!" Mike shouted from downstairs.
"Hang on!" I called back, and ran the straightener through the rest of the wavy part of my untidy brown hair.
I left the bathroom, grabbed my backpack and headed down, with Mike already waiting in the car.
I opened the passenger door, and hopped in.
"Vic I just want you to know that this whole thing with Kell-"
"Mike, just don't. I don't want to talk about it, so Im expecting you not to bring it up again." I sighed, cutting him off.
He didn't reply, and the rest of the car ride was silent. I couldn't say that I minded.
When we got to our school, I mumbled a thanks and got out of the car. I headed to my locker, and then planned to just go to my first period early. As I opened up my locker, I heard someone call my name. I tried to just ignore it, afraid of who I would find. It wasn't until someone put their hand on my shoulder that I whipped around, but only to see Kellin. I wasn't sure if I was angry at him, or just upset. I guess more than anything, I was disappointed.
"Vic," Kellin started.
"Yo Vic! What's up!" I heard Mike call from behind me. Kellins eyes widened, but I waited for him to continue.
"Im sorry." And with that, he walked away.