I'm Water for Your Wine

It’s that one horrible moment when you realize you never really had a chance. The moment you realize you have a crush on your best friend it’s either their chance to reveal: they like you back or they have no interest in you whatsoever.

No matter what happens, break ups or make ups, there are always feelings between a couple that used to be. Months of time together meant something when you’ve been a couple. You don’t just suddenly get rid of them because of a break up.

But its especially when you makeup that you realize that you really love the person, that it was a mistake to break up with them and then everything is golden between you guys. You’re back together, problems are resolved, and you’re even more in love than you thought was possible.

Although, I don’t think I’ll ever have that feeling.

I had the strongest feelings for my best friend while he had a girlfriend. They broke up, I wasn’t as relieved as I thought I should be but I was a bit happy. They’re apart and he talks to me more but I know he will never love anyone like he loved her.

I can tell in the way he acts, he acts as if he wants to do anything to forget about his current situation. He makes plans; he does ridiculous things, just to forget what is really going on.

I really only have myself to blame. I blame myself for falling for my best friend, I blame my myself for actually thinking that he may like me back, I blame myself for, I feel like, forcing myself to be happy when I really wasn’t.

I won’t blame myself for being who I am, no, not ever. I can only be jealous of and envy the girl that got to him first. I will never, ever intentionally sabotage someone’s chance at love. I mean, how would I feel?

But this one time, I had actually wished that it would come true. I guess all the wishes at 11:11 pm and the “shooting stars” (I bet half of them were airplanes) was a waste of my time.

Although, I’ll never regret an experience at true happiness. In our moments together, I was blissfully unaware of everything around me and I was just happy for the first time in a long time.

I’m glad you could bring that out.