Withering Nirvana

I couldn’t escape the darkness. I was in the darkness. I became the darkness. The better I get, the grander the darkness gets.

The pain is everywhere.

I am never truly happy honestly.

But than again, it’s woeful to realize that no one cares. Used to be adored by the ones who had hatred towards everyone.

But now.

Alone. So fucking alone.

I am misunderstood. I am mistreated. I am misplaced. I am mistrusted. I am misused. I am misspoken. I am mistaken. I am mis-

But than again, no one really cares what I have too say.

That’s why I don’t get close to anyone. I mean like, what do we do when they stop caring? Or when they are gone? Or when they expire?

I can’t say who I am or what I am. I don’t have the slightest idea anymore. Just a wandering soul looking for vacancy.

But I honestly miss myself, the old me. The me who didn’t have a care in the world. The me who was loved by many and hated by few. The me who would take a bullet for him.

But, he was pulling the trigger.

I am not afraid of dying but I want to know if I’ve been alive enough.

I think I need a new place, to live in another place, and leave everything behind.