Oblivion's Existence
Firearm
The snow elegantly fell sympathetically like a lover falling for the right one. The snow wouldn’t dare melt on me, I was petrified with ice from the inside out. Cars hastily drove past me, not daring to glance back at me. I was walking on fragmented glass as the snow incinerated my exposed feet. A gust of wind blew amidst me, letting my hair float in the air. My crimson dressed fluttered in the wind as I spread my arms; letting the frozen air collide into my anesthetized skin. I would never thought this moment would be so serene. A waste of time used exquisitely.
My porcelain skin shinned vividly with my deep cherry lips, corresponding my never ending dress. Under this splendor was a shell of darkness, something so much more than agony and misery. I seek the amiable, pulsating taste that are even delighter than his kisses. We were more than friends but not quite lovers. He was everything whilst I was simply nothing.
I could hear my voice speaking to him.
“I’m telling you, I’m going to do it.”
“You always speak of these things, but you never do it. How do you expect me to believe you?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of death. The thought on how sinful it was to leave this way. How they encourage me not to do it, oh, how wrong it was. Only if they knew I couldn’t be strong enough.
They saw the tears, they did not dry them.
They saw the pain, they did not try to fix it.
They heard my troubles, they did not try to listen.
I hope they see how they made no effort, how they could of saved me, and how they added to my anguish. They couldn’t imagine the pain, blinded by their own life and problems.
The emotionless realization that I was still here, slowly began to set in as I watched each car drive by; looking for his.
I need to leave this place, to go so far; to shove everyone so far away. Life is rather difficult, I wanted no one to save me but to stand at my side and watch me save myself. I was never good at expressing these feelings, I kept everything inside. I never knew how to describe it when the time came to explain. I just stayed quiet. But this was my last letter to him, my chance to speak all the bullshit.
The recognizable shadowy truck turned the corner, facing straight at me. I stood at the edge of the road, I lightheartedly pointed the item in my hand at him; flicking my wrist as if it was going off. The car came to a stop and a man stepped out, it was him.
“THE FUCK JODIE?!”
I was slowly losing everything.
“Hello, darling.”
“Get in the fucking car!”
I laughed, I laughed at his pathetic answers.
“I don’t get you Jodie, why the fuck are you laughing? This is serious! Get in the car, we are going home!”
“I don’t get me either. My mind is a mess, you know. I’m at peace now. I even wore a red dress to match my bleeding body.”
“You’ve built a wall so high that no one attempted to climb it. Jodie, you’re strong, you’re beautiful, you’re good enough, you-”
“No I am not.”
“I love you, I would never hurt you! I will be at your side for-fucking-ever and always. I’ll be here, I don’t care, I won’t leave. I promise, I promise, I FUCKING PROMISE. JUST STOP.”
“You fucking lair.”
My hand hastily went upwards, pointing the item at my temple, putting my finger on the trigger.
“I fucking hate you.”
“JODIE.”
I am the little girl who ran from herself even though, you can not escape from yourself.
My porcelain skin shinned vividly with my deep cherry lips, corresponding my never ending dress. Under this splendor was a shell of darkness, something so much more than agony and misery. I seek the amiable, pulsating taste that are even delighter than his kisses. We were more than friends but not quite lovers. He was everything whilst I was simply nothing.
I could hear my voice speaking to him.
“I’m telling you, I’m going to do it.”
“You always speak of these things, but you never do it. How do you expect me to believe you?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of death. The thought on how sinful it was to leave this way. How they encourage me not to do it, oh, how wrong it was. Only if they knew I couldn’t be strong enough.
They saw the tears, they did not dry them.
They saw the pain, they did not try to fix it.
They heard my troubles, they did not try to listen.
I hope they see how they made no effort, how they could of saved me, and how they added to my anguish. They couldn’t imagine the pain, blinded by their own life and problems.
The emotionless realization that I was still here, slowly began to set in as I watched each car drive by; looking for his.
I need to leave this place, to go so far; to shove everyone so far away. Life is rather difficult, I wanted no one to save me but to stand at my side and watch me save myself. I was never good at expressing these feelings, I kept everything inside. I never knew how to describe it when the time came to explain. I just stayed quiet. But this was my last letter to him, my chance to speak all the bullshit.
The recognizable shadowy truck turned the corner, facing straight at me. I stood at the edge of the road, I lightheartedly pointed the item in my hand at him; flicking my wrist as if it was going off. The car came to a stop and a man stepped out, it was him.
“THE FUCK JODIE?!”
I was slowly losing everything.
“Hello, darling.”
“Get in the fucking car!”
I laughed, I laughed at his pathetic answers.
“I don’t get you Jodie, why the fuck are you laughing? This is serious! Get in the car, we are going home!”
“I don’t get me either. My mind is a mess, you know. I’m at peace now. I even wore a red dress to match my bleeding body.”
“You’ve built a wall so high that no one attempted to climb it. Jodie, you’re strong, you’re beautiful, you’re good enough, you-”
“No I am not.”
“I love you, I would never hurt you! I will be at your side for-fucking-ever and always. I’ll be here, I don’t care, I won’t leave. I promise, I promise, I FUCKING PROMISE. JUST STOP.”
“You fucking lair.”
My hand hastily went upwards, pointing the item at my temple, putting my finger on the trigger.
“I fucking hate you.”
“JODIE.”
I am the little girl who ran from herself even though, you can not escape from yourself.