It's Just You and I

So many people think that I am him. I mean, I can't even walk down a street, or do the things that I'm supposed to do for the band that I'm now working for, cause everyone are always remembering me that I look like him. It's always ''Hey Chris, I love you so much'' but when will someone tell me ''Hey Mike, you've changed my world'' he changed everybody's world, including mine, but I'm just there in his shadow.

Lets be honest, we couldn't be more different from each other, but we complete each other. People always think that we could be brothers, but I don't want to be his brother. I could never be the brother of the man that I am in love with. This is something that we keep for ourselves; because we both think that people wouldn't be that sweet to him if they knew that he's spent the last two entire years of his life being with me. Hugging me, kissing me, and making me see stars, just by simply loving me. Never thought I would find love like this one day. Yet here I am, cuddled against his chest and I don't think something better could ever happen to me.

He's just running these sweet hands of his through my hair and he could fool me by telling me that everything is alright, but I know that something is wrong. I know that I'm the one who made him feel pain too and as much as I hate it, I just got scared.

Earlier, he told me out of the blue that he wanted to tell people about us. I said that I didn't want to right now, but truth is that I really want it.
I just don't want to ruin any chances of a career and a real family for him one day.

Motionless In White is becoming more and more popular everyday and there are an awful lot of girls at his feet and would do anything in their power to be with him. So why would he seriously want to be with me. I'm just a worthless human. I am always going to be the guy who looks like Chris Motionless. I'm always gonna be confused for my lover, never recognized as Mike Kuza. I have nothing to lose from our story. He does, and I don't want him to do it when I know that one day I'm going to not be enough for him. He simply can't ruin his life for nothing, I love him too much to let that happen to him.

"What's wrong baby?"

Can I really tell him that I doubt him? I mean it wouldn't be the first time, and we're probably going to get into an argument again, but i've never been able to keep something from him.

"Just thinking about what you said earlier."

"About me wanting to be seen with you, on a romantic level?"

"You know that I want to, it's just that I don't want you to destroy every career chances and every chance of having a family that you'll never have, because you think that you are in love with me. We both know that one day you're gonna get bored with me and just leave me alone. So why would you want to tell people about us?"

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, but I will do it everyday of my life if it means that at one point, you're going to believe me. I love you Michael; with all of my heart and soul. Hell, I love you with all the guts in my fuckin body. I know that you don't believe it, but I do, more than you'll ever be able to understand. I want to do it, because I want to make you happy. We've been together for more than two years today, and there is nothing that would make me happier than for everyone else to see how happy I am with you."

"You know that to everyone I am always you, it isn't going to change even like that."

"But you're not me. You're only the person with me, the one whom is the source of all of my fantasies, my one desire and the one that I love. Why can't we try?"

"You have so much to lose."

"I want to be with you, that's all they matters to me. Always has since the day we met."

"Alright, we'll do it."

He says nothing more, just holds me close in his arms while kissing me, and it's times like this that I know we're going to be alright; because I have him, and he has me.

Today is the big day, the day of the stickam. The day that is going to change my life for longer than forever. I hope that his fans are going to take it well. I don't want to be the cause of his pain, but we're going to survive this together, cause we love each other and it truly is the only thing that matters to us right now.

He gives me a last kiss before deciding that we've made the fans, his fans, who are probably only gonna be ghosts soon, ghosts of a successful life for him, wait long enough, so he turns the webcam on.

Questions are flowing by, everybody is wondering what the big news is that Chris said he needed to tell everyone. He wanted every one of his fans that saw that message to come and watch the stickam. Why it seemed this urgent and also why was he with Kuza when he hasn't toured with Motionless In White for more than a year now.

It's the time that Chris decides to talk, to open that beautiful mouth of his and every one of his words are just sinking in, I can't do anything else but watch him.

''... Many of you are wondering about me, or think that I'm going to leave Motionless In White but it's not that. In fact, it isn't that important but I can't lie to you guys anymore. I feel like I cheated on my fans in a way. But I couldn't say it before, because I was afraid that you guys would leave me alone. I now know that I don't need to be afraid because if you love me that much, you're all still going to love me just as much after knowing my biggest secret..."

He is so beautiful. I wish I could get lost in him, forever.

''... Not even going to make you guys wait more, I thought of many ways to say this, but this is the only one that feels right..."

And suddenly I feel his hand in mine, and he shows our interlaced hands to the camera.. Wait.. Is he really doing this? I can't believe it.

''I just wanted to introduce you guys to Michael Kuza, my husband."