Distance

Where she first asked him out – they had been on a date in the park and she fell, breaking her arm. They gave her medication for the pain, which made her loopy, and in that state of mind she asked him to be her boyfriend.

I barely moved when I heard a knock on the front door. I was contemplating whether I should get up and greet Liam or hide until he goes away; I was leaning toward the latter. Yesterday went really well. Once the little heated conversation about our relationship was over, we never went back to it, though I knew there was a specific reason Liam kept bringing up our better memories that he knew would make me smile. He didn’t bring up the more personal things but instead just mentioned the little things, like when we forced Zayn to share a bed with Niall in the other room because we wanted privacy or when he took me to this really nice restaurant in Germany.

Once he drove me home, he did walk me to the door and that was the most awkward part. I knew I wasn’t allowed to kiss him and I wasn’t sure how bad a hug would be, but I wanted to do both, so bad. I wanted to invite him to stay the night rather than send him back to his hotel. I wanted to spend all day today in bed with him. But I knew I couldn’t do that, so I quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek, thanked him and was inside with the door locked before he could say anything. I kept replaying how well everything went so much I had to busy myself with cleaning just to distract myself. It didn’t work but at least everything in my house is shining.

“Steph, I know you’re in there.” Why does Liam sound Irish… wait, Niall?

I finally got myself to get up and answer the boy to find the blonde boy practically bouncing. “Niall? What are you doing here?” I asked, stepping out and shutting the door behind me.

Niall gave me a weird look. “Good to see you too, Bambi!” he said while rolling his eyes. “Not even going to invite me in?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Last time I invited you inside, I blinked and my entire kitchen was a mess with food garbage,” I recalled.

“I’ve grown up a lot since then!” he defended.

“That was only two months ago,” I reminded him. “Not that I’m not happy to see you but why are you here instead of Liam?”

He shrugged. “Your problem if someone sees me and your front yard is bombarded with people…” he trailed. I quickly opened the door and pulled him inside before shutting it again. I turned to him, waiting for him to answer my previous question. He furrowed his eyebrows for a second. “Oh right! Your question. Prince Charming had his hands full and couldn’t really come get you on time so he sent me. Lucky you!”

I was a little disappointed Liam hadn’t come because, despite my better half, I was excited to see what he had planned today but maybe it was a sign that I shouldn’t go. “Oh? Well if he’s too busy to do hang out today…” I trailed, unsure. Then what? Would I be relieved? Disappointed? Or would I just feel nothing?

Niall laughed, his reply stopping my thoughts. “Nice try, but no. He was only too busy to come get you because he was setting everything up for today,” he explained. “You ready to go?” I only nodded, checking my pockets to make sure I had everything before following Niall out to the same car that picked me up yesterday. The beginning of the ride was beyond awkward. Music was playing softly but it didn’t do much to the tension in the car. Niall probably knew every detail about how the breakup went – all the boys most likely did, it’s just how close they were. I was starting to worry that they all hated me for what I did to Liam when Niall finally spoke again. “He misses you, you know.”

I swallowed, looking out the window. “I know he does,” was all I could reply.

“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything but I want you to realize how much effort Liam’s putting into getting you back.” I looked at him and saw him glance at me with a serious look on his face. “Liam told me how everything happened but it’s impossible for me to know the whole story so I’m not telling you to get back with him if you really think you can’t handle the relationship. But if you’ve got no intention of getting back with him, you need to let him know.”

“I’ve tried telling him that I think it’s best that we just move on but he didn’t listen,” I explained. “It isn’t like I’m trying to give him false hope or anything. He said that if I did this and still thought I was doing the right thing, he’d leave it alone.”

“I get that, but he’s been all sad and moping around for the past two days but yet he came back to the hotel last night grinning like he’d just gotten his first kiss. Wouldn’t tell anybody what happened, just that he had an amazing time,” he countered then his eyes widened and he turned his head to me. “You didn’t kiss him, did you?”

“Eyes on the road!” I scolded him. “No, I didn’t kiss him. I- I almost did when he dropped me off but I kissed his cheek instead and went inside before anything else could happen.” I looked straight through the windshield. “This isn’t easy for me either. I thought I was doing the right thing and saving myself from heartbreak by breaking up with him. But after yesterday… I don’t know.” I sighed before letting out a small laugh. “Sorry for dumping all of this on you.”

Niall chuckled. “It’s fine, I’m just not sure what to say,” he admitted, putting the car into park. “But I don’t think I’m the one you should be telling all that to.” I looked out the window, noticing we were parked outside a park. As I looked closer, I realized it wasn’t just any park.

”Li, you worry way too much,” I giggled as Liam tightened his arm around my waist, leading me to wherever his car was parked.

“You just broke your arm while hanging out with me and you expect me to not worry?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

I shrugged. “I wanted to climb the tree. It is such a great climbing tree and I couldn’t just not climb it!” I gushed, the pain medicine kicking in more each second. “Ooh, can we go back to the park? I want to climb it again!”

“Maybe some other time,” he declined, opening the passenger side door and gently pushing me to sit in the seat. He closed the door and got in the driver’s side. “Right now I’m going to take you home so you can relax.”

He turned on the ignition and was about to put the car into reverse when I grabbed his face between my hands. “You’re so cute,” I told him, tilting my head to the side. “Like… a puppy but in human form because I want you to be my boyfriend.”

Liam laughed, removing my hands from his face. “Yeah, we definitely need to get you home and in bed,” he replied.

I furrowed my eyebrows. “So that’s a no?” I asked with a pout.

“A no to what?”

“To be my boyfriend, duh,” I said slowly, my drugged out mind not sure why he couldn’t understand. “I want you to be my girlfriend and me to be your boyfriend- wait, the other way around because I’m the girl and you’re the boy,” I corrected with a giggle.

He grinned, finally putting the car in reverse. “Sure, Steph,” he answered. “I’ll be your boyfriend.”

The next day he reminded me of what happened and insisted that it was too late to change my mind because we’d been officially dating since the day before, thanks to me. I didn’t object because, while I wouldn’t have preferred him asking me, I wanted it to happen. I was so stupid back then. “Alright,” I said, taking a big breath. “I’ll see you later.”

“Let’s hope so,” Niall said, waiting for me to exit the car before driving off. I briefly wonder how we were supposed to leave later on but I quickly brushed it off, following the trail that led to the park. It didn’t take long before I approached a big blue blanket sprawled out on the ground, a picnic basket centered perfectly in the middle. Flowers were lining the edges of the blanket and a small cooler sat only a foot away.

“Do you like it?” I turned to see Liam standing behind me, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “I originally wanted you to have the flowers but Niall accidently messed them up and then suggested I do this. I was planning more, to do later, but I have to be back at the hotel at nine. I’m talking too much, aren’t I? I’ll just sit down.”

I watched him walk by me and take a seat on the blanket, fidgeting nervously. “Stop, Liam,” I instructed and he paused, looking up at me confused. I gave him a soft smile. “I like it, stop worrying.” I took a seat next to him, crossing my legs.

He smiled. “I was hoping you would,” he told me.

“How could I not?” I questioned. “This is where our relationship started.”

“And where you broke your from falling out of a ten foot tree,” he added.

“But I had you there, who was so worried that I’d die somehow, so I knew that I’d be okay,” I replied with a smile. “So, what’s for extremely early dinner?”

He laughed. “Not extremely, it’s almost three,” he informed me. “But sandwiches, chips and there are drinks in the cooler,” he listed as he pulled out each item.

I nodded and grabbed a sandwich, unwrapping it and taking a bite, slowly chewing to prolong conversation. Liam was pulling apart his food before shoving it into his mouth. It was obvious something was on his mind and I had no doubt about what it was. “Niall told me you were in a good mood last night,” I awkwardly started after I swallowed my food. I immediately wished I hadn’t – how was that a good conversation starter?!

He shrugged. “I’m pretty much always in a good mood. No big deal,” he brushed off.

“Yeah but he told me you’ve… had a rough few days, so the good mood seemed kind of out of the ordinary,” I replied, carefully choosing my words but still feeling like I should’ve said something else.

“What do you want me to say?” he asked, finally looking at me. “I know it wasn’t even two whole days but when you weren’t speaking to me, it was awful. I was going mad, going over every conversation we’d had recently to see what it was I did that pushed you away. Then you agreed to this weekend and it gave me a little hope but yesterday went so well and it just made me happier than I’d been.”

I looked down at the remaining half of my sandwich that no longer appealed to me. “I told you that I wasn’t going to change my mind because this feeling isn’t going to go away,” I told him quietly.

“Okay? Relationships aren’t supposed to be a smooth ride with nothing but happiness,” he argued, apparently forgetting about his food to as he dropped it onto the blanket and turned so he was facing me. “There’s sadness and anger and there’s times you make me want to rip my hair out but isn’t that what it’s all about? At the end of the day we love each other and that’s all that matters.”

“I do love you, Liam. I never said I didn’t. But we aren’t going anywhere in this relationship!” I explained. “And you being gone bothers me so much. It makes me feel alone and I shouldn’t feel that way when I have a boyfriend.”

“If you’ve felt this way for so long, then what the hell have we been doing these past two years?” he asked. I could hear the aggravation growing in his voice as he got louder and I went to remind him to keep it down but he continued. “You’ve had all this time to talk to me about this but not once have you! Have you just been waiting for the perfect time to break up with me, is that it?”

I glared at him, not caring about attracting attention or not. “No that isn’t it! If I’d been doing that, I would’ve done it a long time ago,” I snapped. “You know what? I knew this was a bad idea but as usual, you didn’t listen and you just did what you want.” I knew that was rude and completely untrue but what he said was rude and completely untrue, so now we’re even. I scrambled to get up and started walking away, not caring that I didn’t have a ride home or that it was probably an hour walk. I didn’t care. All I wanted at the moment was to get away from Liam and go home so I could crawl into bed and just let everything out. I was sick of him thinking that I would prefer being apart from him than with him. If circumstances were different, I wouldn’t even think about breaking up with him. Liam has been my everything ever since he walked into my life and, with him or not, I don’t think that would ever change. But I was here and Liam was in a different part of the world every week and I had to do what was best for me.

“You’re walking away again?” I heard Liam call from behind me.

I froze. I knew my anger would get the best of me and I’d probably say something I’d regret but I didn’t care at that point. I turned around and opened my mouth, ready to give him a piece of my mind when I noticed he was a lot closer than I thought. It startled me slightly but didn’t stop me. “Yes, I am, so I don’t end up killing y-“ I was cut off by his lips. I was shocked for maybe a second before I slowly responded, moving my lips against his until I realized what I was doing and pulled back, eyes wide. I was only a few inches away from his face and he didn’t move away or forward again, only staring at my face to see my reaction. A billion thoughts were running through my mind. How we’re broken up, how I felt half of the time when we were together, how I shouldn’t be kissing him. But then I started thinking about how we belonged together, how great I felt the other half of the time we were together and how I wanted nothing more but to keep kissing him. Was it worth it? “Fuck it,” I finally mumbled, wrapping my arms around Liam’s neck as I crashed my lips to his, barely catching the smile on his face before I did so.

His arms wrapped around my waist to pull me tighter, my feet lifting off the ground slightly. He pulled away, pecking my lips a few more times before putting me back on the ground. “So this means…?” he trailed hopefully, tightening his grip even more around my waist, as if he were afraid I’d run off.

I tried, but failed, to hide my grin. “I’m still mad at you,” I told him.

His smile widened. “And I’m mad at you,” he responded. “I’m also making you promise to talk to me next time you’re having doubts or feeling lonely. Call me or text me and I will do everything I can to talk to you, okay?”

I smiled. “Okay,” I promised before he attached his lips to mine again.