The Promise.

Dropping to my knees, my face in my hands I couldn't believe this was happening to me. If god was punishing me for something he seriously was doing a fucking good job of it, the feeling of such relief as I find out my girlfriend is alive after what just happened mixed with guilt that I couldn't protect her like I had promised and now this...

She didn't even fucking remember me. The way she looked at me like I was some strange man, how could she forget those three amazing years together? She could remember her name, where she lived, her parents, even her fucking blackberry pin number but not her fucking boyfriend of three years.

The doctor came back into the room and I told him she didn't remember me, he lightly patted my shoulder trying to explain but I couldn't fucking take it any more. Storming out of the hospital I walked to the place I always went to, to clear my head. Everything had changed so quickly, one minute we were so happy everything was normal and now its so fucked up and I don't know what to do.

Do I stay with her? Try to get her to remember me? Or is this god telling me to leave her be? Am I that a mess of a man, I hurt my girlfriend and now she doesn't love me any more. I was so confused as to how I should deal with this and angry that this has happened. I mean why? I done my duties as soldier, been a good son, friend and boyfriend, why the fuck should I suffer?

I reach the beach and just stand still by the water staring out onto the ocean. Sighing I think of the memories of me and Brandie, missing her so much while being on tour in Afghanistan, our Skype video calls of her crying and praying I come home safely, our deep conversations about her parents being too pushy of what job she should have and how if I wasn't a soldier I'd want to be in a band, our first fight when I came home drunk after a night out with the guys, the make up sex afterwards they were the best times when she was so mad and hot. When we bought Bella, I got her as a puppy and gave her to Brandie as a Christmas present after she told me when she was young she wasn't aloud a dog that she so desperately wanted and I felt so good for making her that happy. Our times on this beach and was so excited to start the next chapter of our lives by proposing.

I pull the box from my pocket opening it I gaze at the beautiful sparkling diamond ring I knew Brandie would have loved and she deserved it. I can't let her go, I won't let this ruin us if there is a chance that we can revive this then I want to make her love me again. Wiping my tear stained eyes I get up and make my way back to Brandie.

Opening the door to her room I watch as she tries to get out of bed, gazing up at me she looses her balance and I catch her in my arms.

“Hi.” I speak in almost a whisper still in awe of her beauty even with scratches and bruises.

“Hi.” She forced a weak smile as she steadied herself and for the first time there is an awkward silence between us.

“We need to talk.” I try not to sound too serious as I clear my throat, she must be under a lot of stress and I don't want give her any more.

“Yeah we do, your names Matt right?”

I sighed, this felt so surreal I can't believe I have to fucking reintroduce myself to the girl I love.

“Yes, Matthew Charles Sanders to be exact. But you always prefers Matt or “Mattie”

My heart pangs with hurt that I have to tell her this stuff and that she doesn't remember any of it, I look up from the floor to see her smiling lightly and I can't help but share a smile. God I've fucking missed that smile.

“I love it when you smile.”

She blushes and I can't help but chuckle at her modesty. She looks up from her feet and hesitantly reaches out for my hand holding it in hers.

“Even though I don't remember us Matt, I know that I loved your smile too. I mean who couldn't resist those dimples.”

I squeeze her hand trying to suppress the tears threatening to fall from my face, I was hurt yet unbelievably happy she said that, she always used to love my dimples. One time we made a list of all the things we loved about each other and the dimples came second to my laugh which was number 1.

“So we've been together for three years?” she asks and I nod in response.

“Are we engaged or married?”

Sighing I let go of her hand and pull the box from my pocket as she watches me.

“I was about to before the accident actually.” I watch her as she stares at the box and a tear falls down her cheek.

“I'm sorry Matt.” She whispers as more tears fall and she wipes them away staring at me sympathetically.

“Don't be.” I say clearly and more upbeat than the conversation, she looks at me her eyes filled with confusion. I gently cup her face in my hands as I stare into her eyes not breaking contact and feel her tremble beneath me, obviously uncomfortable with the sudden physicalness.

“Brandie, I promise you this now that I will not stop trying to make you love me again until this heart stops beating.” I place her hand on my chest as she nods and falls into my arms crying. I hold her tightly as a lump in my throat forms and I can't hold back the tears any more.

She slowly looks up at me and I give her a reassuring smile and I take this chance to kiss her forehead which she accepts.

“So you're a soldier huh?”

I stifle out a laugh and suddenly feel so much more optimistic that I will have my Brandie back soon.



We finally arrive home and I open the door for her to go in first so she can get used to her surroundings, before she has any time to adjust Bella jumps onto of her. She falls backwards into my chest giggling as the dog licks her face.

“She's missed you.” I say smiling down at the two of them and Brandie turns to Bella who looks back with adoration.

“I love her Matt she's so cute.”

I pat the dog pulling her off Brandie.

“I know that's what you said when I gave you her.” I give her a small smile helping her back onto her feet.

“There's only one bedroom, so I'll be sleeping on the couch.”

“Matt you don't have to I'll sleep on the couch.”

“No I don't want you to feel like a stranger in your own home.” I insist.

“Thank you, you're very sweet.” She half smiles.

“Are you hungry?” I change the subject not wanting to dwell on the fact I can't sleep in the same bed as my girlfriend any more. She shakes her head in response to my question.

“No thank you, I'm really exhausted so I think I'm gonna go to bed.”

“Sure, you want me to show where everything is?”

“Its okay, I got it I should be able to remember.”

I fall silent and just nod in agreement not really wanting to respond to her. That's great she can remember where her underwear is but not that she has a boyfriend of three years.

“Night Matt.”

“Night Brandie.”

I say as she heads upstairs to our bedroom. I sigh laying back into the couch pulling a blanket over me as Bella jumps up beside me.

“We got our work cut out Bella.”