There's Nothing Left to Say

The guys invited me to go out drinking with them after our game. Obviously I agreed and joined them at a near by bar.
I was watching Tucker kick Antonio’s ass in pool when Jake came over.
“Well, I wasn’t expecting to see you again,” he said joining me.
“You made sure of that,” I said sipping my beer.
“We were just teammates,” he said nudging me.
“I don’t like telling people my mistakes,” I said smiling sweetly.
“Ouch! That one’s going to leave a bruise”.
“Good”.
“You haven’t changed much have you? You’re still that same sassy babe I met years ago.”
“Don’t flatter me”.
“So you’re a model now?”
“Yeah, long story short, Victoria Secret liked what they saw and hired me.”
“You never seemed like the model type to me”.
“That’s because I’m not the same naive little girl you met years ago”.
“Touché,” he said taking a sip of his beer. “So, you and Tony huh? That’s not going to get confusing.”
“Congratulations Toni! Oh thanks Jake,” I said rolling my eyes.
He chuckled, “He’s a cool guy”.
“I don’t need your approval, not anymore”.
“Chill out, Toni, I’m just messing with you.”
“I don’t want to be messed with”.
“Sorry,” he said before sipping his beer.
I could feel the elephant in the room getting bigger.
“You could have called, texted, emailed, mailed me a letter, hell, a messenger pigeon would have been nice”.
“You want to have this conversation now, in front of your fiancé?”
“He knows we dated just not the nitty gritty,” I said facing Jake. “All I’m saying was I was willing to put hundred percent and you promised me you weren’t going to hurt me.”
“Did I?”
“Did you what?”
“Hurt you?”
“A little…”
Jake sighed and took a long sip of his beer before turning away from me. “I’m sorry…”
“I don’t think you are,” I said before walking away.
“Is that what you’re so bitter about?” he asked following. “The fact that I was a shitty boyfriend? You knew what you were getting into.”
“Yes! I pissed that you didn’t keep up your end and that I let myself get fooled by you so yes I’m a bit bitter and the fact that you’re still in my life today really pisses me off. So do me a solid and don’t talk to me or get traded again, I don’t really care. Antonio! You’re getting creamed lets go.”
“Yeah one sec, Toni,” he called.
I walked away from Jake and headed outside.
Antonio joined me outside and got into the passenger seat. “You okay, babe?”
“I think so,” I said wiping a tear away.
“Are those angry tears or sad tears?” he asked.
“Angry…”
“What happened? Talk to me.”
“When Jake and I broke up, it was pretty open ended and not the best way to end things. I didn’t realize how angry I was about it till he started talking to me like everything was fine.”
“Want to share? I’ll hear the short story”.
“He left me for football; he got drafted right out of college. He didn’t bother to call, text, visit, or anything. He just ended it…” a tear rolled down my cheek.
“Those look like sad tears,” Antonio said wiping them away.
“I’m not sad anymore, I don’t want to be. I have you now, we’re getting married. I…”
“You need closure,” he said giving me a small smile.
“How?”
“Talk to him; heart to heart and end it with a double knot then we can start wedding planning.”
“I don’t want to talk to him…”
“Whenever you’re ready baby, no pressure. Just the sooner the better,” Antonio kissed my cheek and I smiled at him.
“I really lucked out didn’t I?”
“You did!” he sad smiling at me. “Now take me home!”
I laughed and put the car in reverse.
********
I walked into the near by café and sat down. Antonio went to pick up his car with Tucker and told me that he will meet me here.
I was picked up my phone and deiced to tweet something. I have all these followers for some odd reason. Maybe they would like to know that I’m engaged or is that too much. My thoughts were interrupted by someone sitting across from me. I looked up and there was Jake.
“Tony said you wanted to meet me?”
“No,” I said sternly.
“Well he said you wanted closure so here I am. He said you might needed a push.”
I rolled my eyes. I’ll worry about Antonio later. “Fine,” I said putting my phone down. “I put my heart on the line for you. I was willing to make us work and you weren’t. You put as second best and you left without saying anything. And now here you are acting as if nothing happened.”
“Nothing did happen-”
“I gave myself to you,” I hissed. “That’s a big deal for me!”
“Is that why you’re angry?”
“Kind of! I should have waited, but I went against my better judgment because I thought what we had was something special.”
“That didn’t stop you from banging Liam.”
“How do you know that?”
“Joel…”
“Oh so he’s more important than me?”
“No, he was in the NFL when he told me… I asked about you…”
“Why didn’t you call?”
“Because I cheated!”
We feel silent.
“I couldn’t bring myself to tell you so I just let it die. Then I got that voice mail…”
I grabbed my stuff and slid out of the booth. “Toni wait!”
“No! There’s nothing left to say.”
“I’m sorry. I truly am.”
“Keep your sorry to yourself and never talk to me again. This is our official break up Jake. You cheated on me, your broke my heart, you ended my relationship for Travis and your took my virginity, for nothing. Congratulations you win the asshole of the decade award!” I stormed out of the coffee shop and sped home.
*****
“You’re so dead!” I said slamming the front door.
Antonio was watching T.V and I saw my face on the commercial.
“What?”
“I wanted to talk to Jake on my time not your time.”
“I know, baby, I just wanted to help. You did now you aren’t. Do you want an asshole of the week award too?”
“What? Baby,” he said walking over to me giving me a hug. “I’m sorry, I thought I was helping.”
“I hate you…” I muttered before walking upstairs.
“Love you more!” he called after me.
I closed my bedroom door and sank to the floor in tears. Sad tears. He cheated on me… why does that hurt so much more than it should?