Strictly Roommates

Penelope woke up to the smell of bacon and the sound of giggling. Lindsey must be over cooking. Did Penelope mind being the third wheel? Not if it meant getting free breakfast.

She walked over to her adjoining bathroom and brushed her teeth. She hated how girls like Lindsey looked like they were ready for a night out even first thing in the morning. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her extra large Bugs Bunny t-shirt just reached mid-thigh, her wavy brown hair was a big frizzy mess from having slept on it wet yesterday, but she didn’t care. Jon had seen her far, far worse. After all, they’ve known each other for twenty years. She brushed her teeth, quickly tied her hair into a messy knot at the top of her head, and followed the delicious scent of bacon out to the kitchen.

“Jon, stop it!” Lindsey giggled, as Jon buried his face into Lindsey’s neck as they waited for the bacon to grill.

Penelope walked up to the stove and stole a piece right off the pan. “Morning guys,” she said with her mouth full.

“Morning Pen. Heard you had a hot date last night, how’d that go?” Lindsey asked, untangling herself from Jon’s arms.

“It was okay, don’t think I’m gonna see him again.”

“Didn’t hear you do the walk of shame this morning, was he that bad?” Jon laughed.

“Maybe you guys were just having too much fun to notice that I came back,” Penelope said, grabbing some fruit from the fridge to cut up for smoothies.

Lindsey giggled. “Maybe… I told Jon to be quieter,” she gave Jon a sheepish look, which he responded with a wink and a kiss on the cheek.

Penelope laughed weakly. “It’s okay, Linds. I’m used to it.” Penelope poured her smoothie out into three cups and gathered three plates. Of all the girlfriends Jon’s had, Lindsey was probably one of the nicest. She was the only one who seemed to be perfectly fine with Penelope third-wheeling in on their breakfasts in the morning. Penelope knew she should probably stop judging the girl for her poor career choices and give her more credit.

“Pen’s probably the loudest out of all of us… That’s probably why she never brings guys home,” Jon winked.

Penelope laughed but didn’t say anything. She didn’t bring guys home so she could avoid awkward cuddling in the morning. She didn’t cuddle. Plus, bringing guys home to meet the infamous Jonathan Toews would take all the fun out of her love life. “You’ll never know, Jon.”

Jon crinkled his nose. All these years, he had never once thought about having sex with Penelope. He saw her like a little sister, one that he had to protect against other guys. The thought of sleeping with her was like… the thought of sleeping with your own sister.

“Anyways, you guys enjoy. I’ve got to go set up at work… we have a big photoshoot today.” Penelope got off the bar stool and headed back to her room to get changed.

After Penelope left, Jon and Lindsey cleaned up the kitchen. “Jon, I think we should talk.” Lindsey said.

Jon groaned. He hated those words. “What’s up?”

Lindsey shifted back and forth on her feet. “Don’t you think … that maybe it’s time you stopped living with Pen?”

Jon paused. “What?”

Lindsey walked over to where Jon was sitting at the counter. “Well, we’ve been dating for six months now and you know I love Penelope, it’s just that…maybe we should move in together.”

Jon thought about it. Obviously it was unconventional that Jon was in a relatively long-term relationship but still lived with another girl. But she wasn’t just any girl, she was Penelope. “Umm.. I’ll have to talk it over with Pen. I mean, it’s a big deal, we’ve lived together for like, seven years.”

Lindsey rubbed Jon’s arm. “Babe, I know. I just wanted to throw it out there. Doesn’t the idea of waking up to me every morning sound enticing? Or how about being able to do it anywhere in the house without having to worry about bothering anybody else…” Lindsey ran her fingers down Jon’s chest.

He groaned. She was right. “I’ll talk to Pen soon.”
Lindsey smiled and leaned in to whisper into Jon’s ear. “The sooner you do it, the sooner you can take me on this counter…”

Jon lifted her up and Lindsey squealed. “How about I just do it right now?” He laid her down on the counter and leaned down to kiss her.

Later That Night

Penelope yawned as she stepped through the door. The client had been demanding and fussy and the photoshoot had taken four hours. And then she had to stay behind to edit the photos. All she wanted to do was lay on the couch, drink red wine and catch up on this week’s reality tv shows.

“Hey,” Penelope said, bending over to take off her shoes. Jon was watching tonight’s hockey highlights on TSN.

Jon grabbed the remote and flicked off the TV when he saw Penelope come in. “We need to talk.”

“Okay there, captain serious. What do you want to talk about?” Penelope plopped down on the couch next to Jon.

Jon fiddled with his hands. There was no easy way to say this; after all, he was attempting to end something that had been working well for over seven years. “I think you need to move out,” Jon said in a small voice.

Penelope nearly dropped the remote control she was playing with. “What?!”

Jon sat up straighter on the couch. “It’s just that me and Lindsey think that it’s time we lived together … I mean we have been dating for a while-“

“Why are you kicking me out then? Why aren’t you moving into some gorgeous surburban mansion with her? I’m sure she could afford something super luxurious with the thick stacks of dollar bills she receives every night stripping,” Penelope scoffed.

“Wow, Pen. That’s low. I fucking bought this place, and have never charged you a single day’s rent-“

“That’s because you wouldn’t let me pay you. I OFFER to pay rent EVERY MONTH. You always turn me down-“

“I know. But now I’m asking you nicely. I’ll give you some time to find a place. I’ll even pay your rent-“

Penelope stood up. “You know what Jon. You’re NOT asking nicely. You straight up just kicked me out. But you know what? I’ll do you a favor. Clearly a six months relationship means more to you than a twenty-year friendship, so I’ll just get out of your face now. And no, I don’t need you to pay my rent, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” With that, Penelope walked out of the apartment and slammed the door.

Jon tried to catch her before the elevator closed. “Pen, wait. I’m sorry, let’s just talk this out.”

Penelope tried to keep the tears from falling. She pressed the button repeatedly to close the door but Jon’s hand kept the elevator open. “I think you’d said enough, Jon. Goodbye.”

Jon looked down at the ground. He knew he had seriously messed up, approaching the situation completely wrong. But he knew that things could not be resolved immediately with Penelope. He let go and watched the elevator doors slide close, hoping that he hadn’t just jeopardized the most important thing in his life.