One Hundred Sleepless Nights

“’Lana, wait up!” I hear a distant voice call out to me.

I race down a street lined by trees. Even though I’m running as fast as I can, I seem to be in slow motion. My hair flows in mid-air behind me. I’m laughing, but no sound comes out. The boy behind me gets farther and farther.

“Svetlana!” The voice is barely audible, now.

I look behind me and the boy is out of my vision. I stop running when I turn back around. I reached the end of the street and a lonely house is at its end. Curiously, I walk past the weeds in the front lawn and up the creaky stairs.

It’s eerily silent out. There is no wind, no chirping birds, and no sound of any kind. Suddenly, the realization makes a lump in my throat form. I reach out to grab the doorknob but freeze. Fear floods me and I start to hyperventilate.

I back away from the door. I take slow steps backwards like if the house will wake if I make too much noise. Unexpectedly, my foot reaches the porch’s edge and I slip. I fall off the porch. In my slow motion fall, the door opens. I scream out for the figure at the door to help me.

My eyes fly open and I find myself, in bed, reaching out into the darkness.

Just another stupid dream, I sigh to myself. I won’t be able to sleep again so there is no point in trying.

Once I make some tea, I sit on my living room staring at my latest painting; a little boy with lilacs. I smile as I sip my tea. The feeling I get when I look at finished artwork of mine is indescribable. The feeling that something that beautiful, or dark or whatever emotion it conveys, came from your own hands is liberating, in a sense.

I look at my watch and notice it is 4 in the morning. At this time, there really isn’t much on TV besides infomercials. I grab my studded jean jacket and head out for a smoke. Hopefully it’s not too cold and my plaid pajama pants are enough to keep me warm.

I head out to my usual spot on my building’s stoop. Outside, I spot another insomniac on a smoke break. It was the same tall, muscular and (judging by my occasional glancing) quite sexy man I have spotted out here several times. The door to our brownstone building shuts behind me and I stand awkwardly as he eyes me. The sound must have broken his trance. I stand at the bottom of the stairs opposite of him, still feeling awkward. He gives me one of those “wassup” nods and I half-smile back.

It was a nice, quiet night in Mayville. I dig into my jacket’s pocket and pull out a box of Newport. I almost couldn’t wait to light my little menthol stick. Usually, I kept a lighter in the wrapper surrounding the cigarette box but I quickly find out it isn’t there.

“Shit,” I mutter under my breath.

I had rushed out of the apartment before checking if I had one. I pretty much assumed it’d be there. I pat my jacket and my pajama pants to no avail.

“Genius,” I mutter once again.

I stand with an unlit cigarette in my mouth feeling completely idiotic. I look at the smoking-in-more-ways-than-one guy beside me, who chuckles as he takes a drag from his cigarette.

I twirl the cigarette through my fingers since I obviously couldn’t smoke it. Someone taught me how to do that with coins, once. Now I did it all the time, with just about anything.

Fuck it. I brush my hair behind my ear. When I catch my fellow neighbor looking, I give a small wave of my cigarette and bit my lip lightly. He pulls out his lighter as a means to end my non-smoking torture. He looks me up and down and I can’t help to do the same. He lights the flame and but doesn’t extend his arm out.

Even in the darkness I can see him give me a sexy little smirk as he pulls the lighter closer to his own cigarette. I lean forward, flirtatiously, with the cigarette between my lips and inhale the bitter sweet taste.

Once it’s lit, I exhale a trail of smoke and smile a silent thank you as I walk away. As I make my way down the block, I can feel his eyes still on me. I need to see him up close in some light. Someone that charming had to be reeled in.

. . . we both know you could use a good lay. I laugh as Yulia’s words replay in my head. Maybe I do.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

“Seriously, I think I might be straight, now.” Oliver jokes as I mock some model poses in front of him.

I was wearing a short, strapless black dress. I added a cincher around the waist that looked like two skeleton hands “holding” me. Per Oliver’s request, I put on my burgundy, chunky-heeled lace up booties. He was obsessed with the chain around each. They each had two bats hanging off of them. True to my obsession, the booties had spikes all down the back. My final touch was a burgundy half-jacket with, you guessed it, studs. I love spikes and studs on my clothing, if you hven’t noticed.

Oliver whistles as I give a twirl and Liam claps. Yulia giggles as she puts on mascara. We were going to see a local band called Confrontation tonight. They were playing at a really nice club by some casino on the shore so we were going all out, outfit-wise. Well, that and Yulia was going to see Vald. She gushed every time he called or sent her a text, further confirming their date.

Liam mentioned that he and his boyfriend were going so I suggested we all go together.

I’d hate to admit, but I was actually a little excited to go out. Not only to party, but to meet whoever Yulia and her man had lined up for me.

The whole drive to the club was spent singing annoyingly loud in the car to really lame pop songs with Oliver and Liam. It was fun, though. Yulia, on the other hand, had a weird look on her face that I couldn’t read. Maybe it was something Vald texted here. I elbow her playfully to get her to smile.

“Everything cool, ‘Lia?” I whisper through Oliver’s British Britney Spears cover.

She nods her head and opens the door when Liam finally finds a parking spot. As we walk towards the entrance, Liam tries to hush Oliver’s singing.

“If you feel any sort of odd, we can leave okay?” Yulia reassures me.

I give her a small smile. I’ll be fine. It’s not like I’ve never been on a blind date before. Granted, the last blind date Yulia sent me on in PA was a complete disaster but it was one of those “well, at least it was a good laugh” type of memories.

Once inside, Yulia flirts her way to a free table. Oliver pulls Liam into the seat next to him and pats for me to sit on his right. Yulia sits on Liam’s left and saves an empty seat for Vald. Oliver bites his lip jokingly and winks at me.

“Lookin’ fit as fuck, Svetlana. If I wasn’t gay, I would probably have an uncooperative boner.”

Liam and I laugh but Yulia is too busy searching the sea of people for her Vald.

“Oh, there they are!” She almost shrieks. “Over by the bar! I’ll be right back.”

She runs off to find them and bring them to our table. Oliver quickly turns to make sure my hair is perfect. I can’t help but laugh. He moves some rebellious locks out of my hair and smiles at his work. Liam swats his hands down.

“This isn’t your child’s picture day, it’s a blind day. Relax,” he snickers.

“Here they are, guys!” Yulia is hugging Vald’s arm and staring up lovingly at him.

Vald is looking at her with the same crazed love. Oliver and Liam introduce themselves enthusiastically. Vald breaks his loving gaze to introduce himself. From behind him, his friend walks up. He introduces him, too; Tony.

When I look up at him, I smile to myself. Bingo, I thought. Staring down at me was my very sexy stoop companion. His mesmerizing hazel eyes light up in a sort of wonder. I get up from my stool and step closer to him. He doesn’t say a word but looks me up and down once again. I bit my lip and extend my hand.

“Nice to meet ya, Tony. My name’s Svetlana.”