Blue Eyes

It’s always been weird for me to live in a small town. Watching movies about big cities when I was younger always made me feel like there was more to offer out in bigger places. Being in this tiny place with a population of 600, everyone is bound to know everyone. If you go to the shops you’ll bump into at least two people you know, then probably find out you know a few of the cashiers.

It’s a beautiful place don’t get me wrong, with the trees and the hills and blah blah…. I just wish I didn’t have to make sure I wore different clothes each day because I’d most likely run into the same people everyday. I wish I could be inconspicuous. I wish people didn’t think they knew me and that my neighbours would mind their own goddamn business.

Also I wish there was more than one school in this town so that I wouldn’t have to spend everyday with the same douche bags I have been sharing air with for the past 12 years of my schooling. At least now I am a senior in my last year. Next year I will go to the city to one of the universities and study whatever the hell I want with at least 50 people taking the same classes as me. If only I could figure out what subject that might be.

“Shay!” Suddenly I was pulled from my daydream. I looked away from the window I had been gazing out of for the last 26 minutes of the lesson and over to my friend Alice Stanley who had called me.
“Shay, were you even paying attention? I don’t know what to do.”

Alice and I had been friends since year nine when she had moved here from a bigger town up north. We became friends because of a mix of things; I didn’t have any friends at the time and she was going through that awkward stage in life when you don’t know who you are but you still find yourself so incredibly fantastic. She’s also got the reddest hair and the freckliest skin a ginger could possibly have. My mum had always thought it to be very pretty, but the kids in our year had a different opinion.

“You can’t always rely on me, Alice. One day we’ll be going our separate ways.” I rubbed my temples and stifled a yawn. I hadn’t slept well the night before because Mrs. McCarthy’s dog kept yapping.
“Stop mumbling. I can’t understand you.” Alice said sharply, her white blue eyes piercing.
“Fine. I just won’t help you.” I snapped back. I hated it when she told me what to do.
Alice sighed heavily. She hated apologizing, so she just buried her face in her scarf that lay on her desk.

I turned my attention back to my window to stare at the orange and red leaves dancing in the wind, being torn off their trees to settle on the ground below.

After another wild daydream about moving to the city, the clock hit three and the bell rang. Home time. Everyone rushed out of their seats as the teacher barked homework at them. There were already a few students running across the field as if the few moments they saved counted.
I waited until the room was almost empty before I started to pack my things away.
“Hurry up Shay, everyone’s already left.” Alice was still in bossy mode.
“Good. No one to get in our way.” I didn’t meet her angry glare.

It was Friday today and the last day of school for two weeks between terms which meant someone was bound to have a party so Alice would want to go straight home so she could get ready to go out. Tonight there was an open party at Derek Selene’s house. A boy I was sort of friends with but we didn’t talk very much. Which was okay with me.
Derek had a big house with a massive garden that included a few horses, some sheep, but most importantly a big heated pool. Which was why everyone was so excited to go. The weather was getting colder and colder so they all wanted to have one last swim before the summer was well and truly over, but not me. I’ve never really been terribly fond of swimming; I’ve never been any good. I’m better at sports to do with being on solid ground.

We got into my old white sedan and drove off down the road to Alice’s place. It was a big place too. The kitchen alone was the size of my room. Her room was double that with an en-suite.
We got ourselves a drink and a snack from the wood paneled kitchen and ran upstairs to Alice’s room.

As soon as we were there, she got her laptop out her bag and pulled up facebook to show me some guy who was going to be there tonight.
“His name is Antony Cooper, Derek’s cousin. He’s from England! Isn’t he cute?”
Great. English accents. I knew where this was going.
Alice spilled words after words about how cute English boys were and if they were together they’d be this kind of couple and he’d be that kind of boyfriend and blah blah….
I just nodded and added in a few “yeah”s and “mmhm”s.

After twenty-five minutes of talking boy strategy, Alice started squishing avocado in a bowl and slathering it on her hair. She did this every Friday to make her hair less “boofy” but it always looked the same to me. She did a few of her other weird Friday rituals like rubbing baking soda on her teeth and putting cucumber slices on her eyes. I just sat and watched. I don’t know why I always had to be here. I never joined in. I didn’t need to. My hair is fine, my skin is quite clear and I don’t really smile with my teeth showing anyway.

When she was ready to rinse the goop out of her hair, Alice shooed me out to go back to my house to get ready. I shuffled out the door, grabbing my coat and hopped into the cold front seat of my rusty car. I rubbed my hands together to shake the cold from them and turned the heater up to full blast. My place was about fifteen minutes away by car, so I was glad to have my car stereo that could plug into my ipod. I hated the music Alice had played today in her room and I had to get it out of my head.

Pulling up to my house always presented a sense of calm that washed over me. When I stepped inside my front door into my small but clean house it made me feel safe. I guess because the only other person that inhabited this place was my mother, who I loved dearly and could actually stand the company of for more that six hours. Also she worked until seven every day of the week so I was usually alone.

I walked through the hall and up the stairs to the bathroom to have a boiling shower. When I got out it was only quarter past five. Alice said to be ready by six thirty. I had a bit of time to kill so I dried my hair. I blew hot air from the hair dryer on myself to warm up for another twenty minutes then chucked on some jeans and a dark red sweater with a black scarf. It was going to be cold tonight.

I pulled on my doc martin boots and went downstairs to sit on the couch for the remaining twenty minutes until I was due to leave.
I started to think about tonight. How Alice would behave in front of Mr. England. She would probably do her awkward flirting that made everyone uncomfortable.

A knock at the door startled me. I glanced up at the clock, only twenty past six now. Who would that be?
I sauntered over to the door and looked through the peephole. It was Taylor. Taylor Smith. The boy I’d had a crush on since kindergarten and he was at my house. I smoothed down my hair and swung open the door with a smile.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” I put on the cheeriest voice I could manage without being creepy.
Then Alice walked up my steps and put her arm around him.
“Taylor has agreed to give us a lift,” she said it like it was an amazing feat of his.
“But I can just give us a lift, I have a car. Then we can leave whenever we want.” I don’t like staying at other people’s houses for too long. But Alice did. Which is probably why she got us a lift, so she could trap me at Derek’s. Sly Alice.

“I think I’d much rather take my own car.” I said with hesitation. It sounded more like a question than a statement.
“I won’t take no for an answer, Shay. Get your togs and get in the car.” Alice barked at me.
“I’m not bringing any togs.” I said bluntly.
Alice just rolled her eyes and turned on her heel towards the road outside my house and stormed off into Taylor’s car.
“You could have at least worn a skirt,” she threw over her shoulder when she shut the car door.

“It’s too cold for skirts.” I said it more to myself than anyone else.

“Look, if you don’t want a ride with us that’s fine.” Taylor was always so polite. And charming as hell. Ugh.

“No, I’ll come with. An angry Alice is a bad Alice.” I sighed and followed Taylor to his car after I locked the house.

He had a funny battered up car sort of like mine and our taste in music was almost identical. He played one of my favorite songs by my favorite band as I rode shotgun so I could look at him occasionally.
He had the darkest green eyes and light brown hair. He let it grow long, down past his ears, which I guess I was okay with, but I’d prefer him with shorter hair. Why am I even thinking about what I’d prefer? It’s not like I’m his girlfriend or something.

It was around seven as we pulled up to Derek’s mansion of a house.
“Here we are.” Taylor said with a small smile. He was excited to swim maybe.
I wasn’t.

We stepped out the car onto a gravel driveway outside Derek’s house. Derek’s out of proportion front door led into an even bigger coatroom then a lounge area with a huge leather couch. Everything was just huge in this house to make up for the enormous amount of space it had. There were already a few people buzzing around the kitchen doing whatever people at a party do in a kitchen, but there was also a large amount of people in the giant pool that you could see from the lounge through the glass sliding door.

As we entered the epicenter of the party, a not-so-sober Derek greeted us with entry shots even though we’d already entered his house. I downed my shot of tequila unwillingly and settled down on a deck chair near the pool, but not too close. I sat like that for a good forty-five minutes while Alice flitted her sociable wings around all the boys in sight until she got the nerve to strip down and jump in the water.

I, however, didn’t talk to many people. I felt too awkward to try make any conversation with any of these people I hardly knew. So I sat and I watched the boys and girls of my age group splash and play like ten year olds yet flirt like they were, well, seventeen like we were.

I looked around to find the boy Alice had told me about. What was his name again?

“You look like you could use some company. Not a strong swimmer?” A deep, English accented voice came from the opposite way I was looking. I spun my head around to be face to face with what’s his name.

“No, not particularly.” Total understatement. I sort of stuttered at the beginning, but I managed to redeem myself.
“Neither. I never really learned,” he said as he gazed up to the sky with the bluest eyes I’d ever seen in my life. He had jet-black hair that made his eyes stand out even more, as well as his porcelain skin. Probably never seen a good sunny day in his life, poor bastard.

“I’m Antony.”
That’s right. Antony. He extended his hand to shake mine. I met his uncertainly. Hand shakes were always awkward.
“Shay.” I strained a smile.
“Nice to meet you Shay.” He smiled an open mouthed smile with teeth and laugh lines. And those eyes….
Something about his intenseness kind of made me uncomfortable, but I know he was just trying to be polite.

He offered me a beer but didn’t take my “uh… No thanks” for an answer. He returned after a few brief moments with a cold one and opened it in front of me. Maybe to show me how manly he is or maybe to show me he hasn’t drugged it.

After a few moments of light banter the conversation got a little personal for my liking. He asked me about what university I was going to next year and what kind of car I drive and if my parents were still together. I know, not terribly stalkerish, but still. I just met the guy. So I just answered the more personal ones with black humor.

After a few more sips of beer my stomach started to get angry with me for it. I felt slightly sea sick, sort of dizzy. I put the bottle down and didn’t touch it until I was relieved of the social duties of a conversation because one of the other guys tore Antony away for some drunken emergency. I went to the kitchen that was emptied of people and poured the beer down the sink. Yuck. It was cheap crap anyway.

The kitchen felt very hot all of a sudden. I checked to see if the elements of the stove were on or the oven but neither was turning the kitchen into a blistering dessert. I took off my scarf and put it on the couch. I still didn’t col down. I removed my sweater and put it with my scarf. Still no good. I went outside but I was still heating up, my cheeks almost stung from the heat. There were a lot more people here now and it was starting to get a little too crowded for my liking so I went to the bathroom to wash my face.

Soaking my red face in icy water did help me cool down, but I still felt dizzy. What was in that beer? I’d felt fine until I had only a few sips. What if I’d have drank the whole thing? I shuddered at the thought. I splashed my face again then dried off with the hand towel.
I swung open the bathroom door a little too fast and hit something.
Well, Someone.

“Oh, jeez. I’m sorry,” I said wearily to Antony who was rubbing his elbow.
“Ah! Funny bone.” He chuckled but it sounded more nervous than anything.
He let out a sigh then looked at me more seriously.
“Are you okay?”
The room started to spin.
And then I threw up in my mouth.

I ran to the toilet and emptied my stomach, gasping for air between chucks. When I was finished, I turned to see Antony holding back my hair with wide eyes.

“Jesus, Shay. How much did you have to drink?” He sounded shocked, like it was a crime to get throw-up drunk at a party.
I frowned. I didn’t like it when people said Jesus. It just seems more like an offensive swear like that.

“I’m not drunk, douche bag. I got sick after that beer you gave me.” I wiped my mouth with my hand and pointed at him. “Your fault.” I wobbled on my uncertain legs and he steadied me. He sort of chuckled nervously again.

My back arched without my say and more made its way out of my stomach. There wasn’t much left, so it was mostly bile. Which burned my throat. Nice.

When I was properly done and dusted, I flushed and stumbled to the sink to wash my face again. I rinsed my mouth out and had a drink of water. Antony handed me a piece of gum and I gladly reached out to accept the kind offer when he suddenly retracted his hand.

“Ouch,” I think I heard him mumble a curse or two.
“What?” I said, confused. What did I do? He clutched his hand where the gum was still residing.
“What did I do?” I said aloud this time. He just held his hand out again. A small burn mark slowly turned into a blister.
“What the hell… How did I burn you?”
Antony pointer to my hand, “I’m allergic to silver. Gives me really bad blisters.”

After a few seconds of giving him a weird look, he dragged me down the hall to put me in Derek’s bed so I could recover. A small voice inside me told me to get out of the house and go home. But Alice would be upset with me. But I also didn’t want Antony taking advantage of me, which was where this was probably going to lead to. But I was so dizzy now that I couldn’t walk by myself; let alone run away.

I plopped on the bed and sank into the pillows. Antony sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed like he was waiting for me to invite him onto the bed. Which was not going to happen.

Then I blacked out. I slept for easily two hours. When I woke up, my clothes were still on. Which was a huge relief. But what I woke up to wasn’t very relieving. Antony was lying on the bed next to me with his face right up next to mine.

I jumped and almost fell of the bed, but Antony caught me again. Trusty Antony….

“Are you okay?” He did a smile that would knock anyone out. I never really realized that Antony was actually good looking.

The room started spinning so fast that I had to sit up.
“I want to go home.” I said like I was in shock. Which was probably how my face looked.

Antony put his hand under my chin to turn my face to his and look into my eyes.
“You are so beautiful,” he said solemnly in his ridiculously posh English accent.

Oh dear. He was going to try something with me.

“I’ll be sure to throw up more often then. Gives me a radiant glow.” I said it like the people in cosmetic adds say it.
I was trying to lighten the mood and make this less awkward, but Antony only did a little chuckle then carried on staring at me like he was in a dream.

His hand was now touching my hair and tucking it behind my ear. I cannot stress enough how uncomfortable he was making me. For one, Alice seemed to be really into this guy and now he seems to be really into me. It’s usually the other way around. Like with Taylor. I told Alice that I really liked him…. A week later it was official between them that they were a couple.

I got really angry thinking about that. She wasn’t a very good friend. So why should I be?

Antony started to lean in. I had to make a decision quick before one was made for me.

His lips touched mine before I could sort out my thoughts. Too late, it’s done now. Our mouths were touching and moving together and then I realized this was my first kiss in a few years. I retracted at the thought and left Antony hanging.

“What’s wrong?” He looked like a lost puppy with his big blue eyes and puckered lips. I almost laughed.

“Uh, I just threw up. Doesn’t that gross you out?” I didn’t want to tell him how insecure I am and how Alice likes him and how I don’t actually like him in that way because he makes me uncomfortable and how we only just met. So now I was praying that he would be grossed out and leave.

“Well you washed your mouth, and chewed some gum, right?” I’m guessing it was rhetorical because he watched me wash out my mouth and he gave me the gum, so I just stared at him.

“So then it’s not gross.” I concluded.

He smiled and leaned back in to kiss me. I leaned away so he wouldn’t.

“I don’t want a relationship right now.” Where the hell did that come from? Whatever. I really just want to go home.

“Where the hell did that come from?” He looked at me with bewilderment. Mind reader. “I never said I wanted a relationship,” He chuckled and stroked my cheek, leaning in again. This guy just won’t quit!

I put my hand on his face, almost smothering him. He made a small choking noise, probably because I had my hand over both points of breathing. I let go.

Antony took a gasping breath and raised his hands with annoyance.

“What is with you?” Now he was getting snappy.
“I just don’t want to do the thing that this usually leads to.”
And with that I stood up from the bed, still feeling dizzy, and wobbled over to the door to leave.

“Shay, I-“ He just stuttered, not knowing what he could say to get me into bed with him I guess.

I swung the door open and walked down the hall, hand on the wall to steady me. I saw Taylor dancing with some people in the lounge. I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him to the kitchen.

“Please take me home.” I stared at him with wide eyes, still in shock of what had just happened.

He looked at me, confused. I looked at the clock. It was only ten thirty.
“Uh, yeah, sure. Are you alright?” He said it slowly and slurred. Dammit, he’s drunk.
I rolled my eyes and walked away from him, a bit surer on my feet now.
I sat down in the same deck chair that I was in at the beginning of the evening.
Alice was still in the pool, drunk now, and talking to a bunch of guys.

She spotted me and beckoned me over. I just shook my head. She yelled curse words at me and then kissed the guy who she was swimming next to.

How could she think that would be fun? That tonight is actually a good party? Just slobbering on random people while destroying your liver. Whatever floats her boat … Her and Antony would be perfect together I guess.