My Eyes

Being alone is particularly what I dread the most. Having constant company helps me hide how I really feel. I also hide it from myself.

Let me explain a bit the reason for my slightly depressing state of mind: first, I am a vampire. I have never been able to come to complete terms with this inescapable reality. Being a vampire does have its perks compared to being a human, but sometimes, I can't stand having to live with my true nature. The constant lust for blood and the instinct to kill become almost too unbearable to live with. Sometimes it’s all I think about and it sickens me knowing that I once was what I always lust hunting for.

The second reason is that I have no recollection of my life before becoming a vampire, my human life. I have no memory of who I was. I felt a lot like the ghosts that humans believed existed, wandering around endlessly and watching the human world from afar.

I don’t know what I would do without Marilyn. She guided me throughout that first out-of-control newborn year. She showed me how to hunt humans without making a mess, and some self-control to not attract any unwanted attention from the Volturi. She was the closest thing I would have to a family; even naming me Julianna, claiming it was her sister's name from when she was a human.

Marilyn wasn’t my creator though. The vampire who turned me was nowhere to be seen when Marilyn found me. My first memories were her scarlet red eyes as I finally became conscious after my transition. I quickly clung to her, afraid of the uncontrollable urges for blood I felt, unknown to me at that moment.

A few years after my vampire transformation we found Adam, the last and third member of our small clan. He was originally from England, but had roamed most of the corners of the world a few times. Even though he was human who used to live during the Victorian era, he became a vampire who easily embraced the passing eras he has lived through.

When Marilyn and I crossed paths with him, he had decided he was tired of being mostly alone his 100 or so years of existence. He accommodated himself easily with Marilyn and I; he was very persuasive and quickly joined our company. And for the past ten years, it has been just the three of us.

These ten years have been a whirlwind of bloodlust and games. We never stayed in the same place for long since our choice for entertainment sometimes caught too much attention from the human population. Marilyn loved luring her unknowing prey to their eventual death and always convinced Adam and I to make a game out of it.

I felt wrong doing it at first. Not only did I have to hunt on humans’ blood but I also had to make them into pawns in Marilyn’s games, prolonging their certain deaths, seeing the fear in their eyes once they realized this was their end. Adam always stated how boring it could get, and willfully played along. I learned to unwillingly accept these methods and tune off my emotions while it happened.

Tuning everything off could be dangerous. It grows addictive as you notice how easier things get. For that reason, I was afraid of losing the small traces of my humanity that I had left.

~*~

"Can we stop and just enjoy the scenery around here for a while?" Adam requested, making us stop our run.

"Are you tired already?" Marilyn asked, slightly annoyed, fixing her long, wavy brown hair.

"No," Adam scoffed as he sat on a boulder. "I'm just bored of running for almost two days straight. Besides, I wouldn’t mind a short hunt."

“There are no humans here,” Marilyn remarked.

“There are always humans,” Adam rolled his eyes. “Or at least I can always find them.” He mentioned, clearly pointing my dreadful hunting skills.

"This is an area we haven't come through," I interjected, ignoring Adam’s comment. "We could do a little exploring."

Marilyn pondered for a second, while Adam and I tried to make our persuasive faces.

"You two act like 6 year-olds sometimes," she replied. "Fine, you guys do whatever you want; feed if you have to and I'll go check out the place." Marilyn disappeared at that moment and I dropped to the floor dramatically.

"Yes, finally!" I exclaimed.

"So..." Adam said while getting off the boulder he was sitting on to get close to me. I quickly stood up, sensing his smirk. He always looks forward to every moment where we're left alone.

"No funny business," I warned, poking him in the chest. Adam always loved the idea of him and I being closer. I never wanted to get involved in anything like that, but I had to be honest, I didn’t mind toying with him a bit at times.

"When are you going to stop resisting the idea that maybe 'us' could be fun, Jules?" he asked, as his smirk got bigger.

"Okay, first of all, would you stop calling me Jules, and second, there is no us," I scoffed, as I air-quoted the last part.

"Oh, come on," he replied in his seductive tone, hints of his original human accent appearing. His hands made his way around my waist and he pulled me towards him, making our bodies press closely together. "Why don’t you stop playing and admit you’ve always liked the idea," he continued, as his tone got a bit cockier.

Since he decided to be extra insistent today, I decided to mess with him a little. I made my face get even closer to his, our lips just a few centimeters apart and whispered, "You know? You are right."

His face was priceless. He was surprised at first, since I’m never really this forward with the matter. I lightly pushed him, so his back was against a tree. Adam showed no opposition and was already just going along with whatever I decided to do with him. Our lips were about to touch then, BAM! I pushed him hard against the tree, causing it to collapse and fall right along with a disoriented Adam. I quickly sped away from him, getting lost in the forest.

"Julianna!" he barked, as I laughed.

I was running aimlessly, when suddenly I caught a scent that made me stop in my tracks. I noted the familiar scent of another vampire, but it surely did not belong to Adam or Marilyn. As quickly as I identified the scent, it disappeared. I really am not good at tracking. Maybe it was just a passerby and I shouldn’t need to worry.

I was about to keep running, and an even sweeter scent caught my attention.

Humans.

I could feel my eyes getting darker with thirst. I hadn't fed in over a week and the feeling was starting to get annoying. Just as I was about to run and attack them, someone grabbed me and pinned me facedown to the humid ground, snapping me out of my hungry daze.

What the hell?!