Madness
I have finally realized
It is 5:46 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
He really needed to see Hannibal. He was in the waiting room, vision blurred and hand shaking as it went to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. He stared at the closed door to Hannibal’s office and could hear someone speaking; he couldn’t make out the words, but he knew it would be best if he didn’t go bursting into the room.
It is 5:48 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
Several more minutes (or was it seconds) passed by as Will tried to concentrate on staying in the here and now. He needed to feel like himself, needed to be aware of who he really was. Why were things always so complicated? Why was nothing ever easy?
He tried to steady his breathing, tried to steady his hands by resting them on his knees while he sat there, waiting. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
It is 5:55 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
This waiting almost seemed worse than when he lost time. The minutes seemed to drag on, the clock on the wall ticking seemingly slower than it was meant to. Was this someone’s idea of a sick joke? It was as if the clock was taunting him, and he stared at its face intently, daring it to go slower.
He shut his eyes quickly as his vision blurred, the clock multiplying in front of him. He struggled to inhale through his nose, and opened his mouth, welcoming the quick breath of oxygen that filled his lungs. His hands shook violently as he brought them to his face to wipe away more sweat. His face felt hot and feverish. This hadn’t ended so well the last time.
It is 6:00 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
He wiped hastily at his eyes when he heard the door to Hannibal’s office open. He watched the stranger who came out carefully, knew he was one of Hannibal’s patients. The man closed the door behind him and gave Will a nervous smile before exiting.
It is 6:03 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
“Will, please come in,” He looked up to see Hannibal in the doorway, watching him carefully.
Will stood on shaky legs, rubbing his sweaty palms on the fabric of his pants. When he was in the Doctor’s office, he sat in his usual chair, Hannibal sitting across from him.
“How are you this evening, Will?” he questioned, eyes seeking Will’s averted gaze. “You do not look well.”
“I—I’ve been better,” Will answered shakily. He sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees and once again running his hand over his forehead to clear away the sweat. He let out a deep sigh as he tried to find the right words. He knew this wasn’t the best way to go about it.
He looked at his watch.
It is 6:07 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
“Does Jack know that you are here?” Hannibal questioned.
“No,” he answered, chuckling darkly. “No one does.”
“That wasn’t a very good idea,” Hannibal said, still watching Will with a careful concentration.
“I know,” Will said, blinking rapidly as his vision began to blur again. He stood from his seat, checking his watch again as he swayed dangerously.
It is 6:08 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
Hannibal was holding him up, his arm wrapped around his torso in a tight grip.
“You should sit back down, Will,” he was saying, but Will was trying to push him off. It was a feeble attempt.
“I—I, I know who you are,” he finally managed to gasp out, and he felt Hannibal tense for a second beside him before relaxing ever so slightly. Hannibal’s arm tightened around Will, pulling him so that their chests were almost pressed together.
“Well then, who am I?” he asked and Will could feel Hannibal’s breath hitting his face as he stared at the Doctor’s shoulder.
“I want you to say it,” Will said, shutting his eyes as the room around him seemed to spin. Through gritted teeth he managed to choke out, “Tell me the truth.”
He opened his eyes, the room still once again, and he found a clock on the nearby wall.
It is 6:13 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
“Tell me who you think I am, and then I will tell you the truth,” Hannibal said. Will let out a frustrated breath and let his forehead fall heavily on Hannibal’s shoulder. This wasn’t easy.
Will’s shoulders shook as he felt the tears build up in his eyes.
“You’re the Chesapeake Ripper,” Will whispered, his voice muffled against Hannibal’s fine suit.
“Look at me, Will,” Hannibal said. “Look at me and say it so that I can hear you properly.”
Will let out a shuddering breath, letting out a strangled sob before pulling his face away from Hannibal’s shoulder. Slowly, his eyes traveled up Hannibal’s face until his watery gaze met Hannibal’s dark, cold stare.
“The—y-you’re the Chesapeake Ripper,” The moment the words were out of his mouth, Will averted his gaze, though it didn’t make him feel any better in this situation.
“You are smart, Will,” Hannibal said, his free hand grabbing onto Will’s chin and forcing him to face him once again. “I was wondering when you were going to figure it out.”
Will shut his eyes. He had hoped he'd feel some sort of satisfaction from learning the truth, but there was none. He was shocked when Hannibal let him go, and he shakily stumbled back until he fell onto the chair behind him.
He rubbed his eyes before looking at his watch.
It is 6:20 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
Hannibal was kneeling in front of him, looking up into Will’s face.
“I’m sorry that things have to end like this, Will,” he said. “I had hoped we’d be able to remain friends, but I do not think that is possible now.”
“W-what…?” Will started to question, until he noticed the knife in the Doctor’s hand. His eyes unwillingly met Hannibal’s as cold fear filled his stomach. “Please…I-I won’t tell Jack, or anyone.”
“I’m sorry, Will.”
Hannibal’s free hand came up to cup Will’s jaw and before Will could even begin to understand the situation, Hannibal’s lips were brushing gently against his. When Hannibal pulled away Will managed to look at his watch one last time.
It is 6:27 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
He really needed to see Hannibal. He was in the waiting room, vision blurred and hand shaking as it went to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. He stared at the closed door to Hannibal’s office and could hear someone speaking; he couldn’t make out the words, but he knew it would be best if he didn’t go bursting into the room.
It is 5:48 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
Several more minutes (or was it seconds) passed by as Will tried to concentrate on staying in the here and now. He needed to feel like himself, needed to be aware of who he really was. Why were things always so complicated? Why was nothing ever easy?
He tried to steady his breathing, tried to steady his hands by resting them on his knees while he sat there, waiting. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
It is 5:55 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
This waiting almost seemed worse than when he lost time. The minutes seemed to drag on, the clock on the wall ticking seemingly slower than it was meant to. Was this someone’s idea of a sick joke? It was as if the clock was taunting him, and he stared at its face intently, daring it to go slower.
He shut his eyes quickly as his vision blurred, the clock multiplying in front of him. He struggled to inhale through his nose, and opened his mouth, welcoming the quick breath of oxygen that filled his lungs. His hands shook violently as he brought them to his face to wipe away more sweat. His face felt hot and feverish. This hadn’t ended so well the last time.
It is 6:00 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
He wiped hastily at his eyes when he heard the door to Hannibal’s office open. He watched the stranger who came out carefully, knew he was one of Hannibal’s patients. The man closed the door behind him and gave Will a nervous smile before exiting.
It is 6:03 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
“Will, please come in,” He looked up to see Hannibal in the doorway, watching him carefully.
Will stood on shaky legs, rubbing his sweaty palms on the fabric of his pants. When he was in the Doctor’s office, he sat in his usual chair, Hannibal sitting across from him.
“How are you this evening, Will?” he questioned, eyes seeking Will’s averted gaze. “You do not look well.”
“I—I’ve been better,” Will answered shakily. He sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees and once again running his hand over his forehead to clear away the sweat. He let out a deep sigh as he tried to find the right words. He knew this wasn’t the best way to go about it.
He looked at his watch.
It is 6:07 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
“Does Jack know that you are here?” Hannibal questioned.
“No,” he answered, chuckling darkly. “No one does.”
“That wasn’t a very good idea,” Hannibal said, still watching Will with a careful concentration.
“I know,” Will said, blinking rapidly as his vision began to blur again. He stood from his seat, checking his watch again as he swayed dangerously.
It is 6:08 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
Hannibal was holding him up, his arm wrapped around his torso in a tight grip.
“You should sit back down, Will,” he was saying, but Will was trying to push him off. It was a feeble attempt.
“I—I, I know who you are,” he finally managed to gasp out, and he felt Hannibal tense for a second beside him before relaxing ever so slightly. Hannibal’s arm tightened around Will, pulling him so that their chests were almost pressed together.
“Well then, who am I?” he asked and Will could feel Hannibal’s breath hitting his face as he stared at the Doctor’s shoulder.
“I want you to say it,” Will said, shutting his eyes as the room around him seemed to spin. Through gritted teeth he managed to choke out, “Tell me the truth.”
He opened his eyes, the room still once again, and he found a clock on the nearby wall.
It is 6:13 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
“Tell me who you think I am, and then I will tell you the truth,” Hannibal said. Will let out a frustrated breath and let his forehead fall heavily on Hannibal’s shoulder. This wasn’t easy.
Will’s shoulders shook as he felt the tears build up in his eyes.
“You’re the Chesapeake Ripper,” Will whispered, his voice muffled against Hannibal’s fine suit.
“Look at me, Will,” Hannibal said. “Look at me and say it so that I can hear you properly.”
Will let out a shuddering breath, letting out a strangled sob before pulling his face away from Hannibal’s shoulder. Slowly, his eyes traveled up Hannibal’s face until his watery gaze met Hannibal’s dark, cold stare.
“The—y-you’re the Chesapeake Ripper,” The moment the words were out of his mouth, Will averted his gaze, though it didn’t make him feel any better in this situation.
“You are smart, Will,” Hannibal said, his free hand grabbing onto Will’s chin and forcing him to face him once again. “I was wondering when you were going to figure it out.”
Will shut his eyes. He had hoped he'd feel some sort of satisfaction from learning the truth, but there was none. He was shocked when Hannibal let him go, and he shakily stumbled back until he fell onto the chair behind him.
He rubbed his eyes before looking at his watch.
It is 6:20 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
Hannibal was kneeling in front of him, looking up into Will’s face.
“I’m sorry that things have to end like this, Will,” he said. “I had hoped we’d be able to remain friends, but I do not think that is possible now.”
“W-what…?” Will started to question, until he noticed the knife in the Doctor’s hand. His eyes unwillingly met Hannibal’s as cold fear filled his stomach. “Please…I-I won’t tell Jack, or anyone.”
“I’m sorry, Will.”
Hannibal’s free hand came up to cup Will’s jaw and before Will could even begin to understand the situation, Hannibal’s lips were brushing gently against his. When Hannibal pulled away Will managed to look at his watch one last time.
It is 6:27 p.m. I am in Baltimore, Maryland. My name is Will Graham.
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Feedback would be much appreciated on this one!~Sally