Senseless

“What the fuck is this?” Christian questioned, picking up a stuffed pastry from his plate.
It was the next morning, and we had gathered for breakfast at the banquet the hotel offered.
It resembled pie crust, but it was piled with something unidentifiable and shaped like an oval.
Biting into it, he made faces as he chewed.
“Well?” I asked, watching the white contents splatter onto the place.
“It tastes like rice, eggs, and butter.” CC mumbled, pushing the plate away and reaching for another item.
“Does it taste that bad?” Ashley laughed, reaching for the abandoned Karelian pastry.
“No, I was just hoping for something sweet.”
“How about this?” Alexei offered, handing CC a powdered, rounded biscuit. “It is filled with berries.”
“Thanks!”
The rest of breakfast continued that way, as a platter of differently filled pastries were passed along and large amounts of coffee was consumed.
It wasn’t five in the morning yet, and we needed to find energy to stay awake for the morning.
Alexei was the only one who seemed boundless, as he continued to take small bites out of a piece of raisin bread.
“How do you have so much energy?” I whispered, leaning into his shoulder to hold a more private conversation.
Although, it was practically due to the fact that he’s drunk three coffees in the last twenty minutes.
“I don’t know.” he shrugged. “We have a long day ahead of us.
“Are you sure you won’t come to America with the rest of this?” I tried one last time.
“No.”
From across the table, I could feel Ashley’s glare.
Without looking, I raised a hand and flipped him off before returning to the conversation.
“Alright, we’ll go after the other’s leave.”
“Thank you, Andy.”
He returned to his pile of crumbs, which was the cause of anxious fingers breaking the bread apart.
“Can I have more coffee?” he asked, eyeing the coffeepot.
“Sure.” I laughed.
He had become addicted to the taste fairly quickly.
“Alright, guys!” Jon stood up. “Get your shit in the bus before you miss your flight.”
Grumbling, we stood up and headed back to our rooms to gather our items before boarding.
I packed my things in two separate bags, planning on asking Jake to take the stuff I didn’t need with him.
There wasn’t a point in filling my backpack with fan letters and war paint, you know?
I didn’t need them.
“Andy?” Ashley called out, his shadow hovering over me.
“Yes?” I questioned, rather coldly.
“Can we talk?” he pleaded, sitting down on the edge of the bed and patting the spot beside him.
“Sure.”
Putting down the stack of envelopes I planned on reading when I returned, I sat across from Ash.
“I just, I’m sorry.” he muttered, looking down at his hands. “I don’t want to know you’re mad at me.”
“I know.”
“Are you seriously going to travel to Russia with a kid you barely know anything about?” he asked, hope burning in his eyes.
He looked up, begging for an answer that wasn’t yes.
“Yes.” I answered anyway, looking towards Alexei, who had discovered my iPod and was listening to music.
“Then I’m coming with you.” Ashley decided.
“Really?”
“Yeah.” he answered seriously. “This is the stupidest idea you’ve ever had, but I’m not going to let you travel a foreign country by yourself. What kind of boyfriend would I be?”
“Thank you!” I laughed, hugging him.
“I just want to keep you safe, Andy.” Ash muttered. “I’d give up anything, as long as know you’re alright.”
“I love you.” I smiled, leaning in and brushing his lips with mine.
“I love you more.” he whispered, sealing the conversation with a kiss.

--

“I mean, fuck, it’s beautiful out here, but one does get tired of blue skies and perfect green grass.” I spoke up, breaking the silence.
After dropping the band off at the international airport, Ashley had rented a car and we had left towards the far part of Russia.
It was a three day drive away, and a thirteen hour journey had already become too much.
The scenery was pretty consistent, with the exception of the fading light as the evening went on.
It was nearing eight, and I was starving.
“Can we please stop for a while?” I asked, looking over the passenger seat where Alexei was sprawled on the backseat.
“Sure.”
Ashley’s eyes were getting heavy from focusing on the faded white lines that divided the two sides of the road.
“Where are we, anyway?” I asked, attempting to stretch.
“Uh, he left Finland and entered Russia about three hours ago.” Ash shrugged, a yawn escaping his lips.
“Doesn’t that seem weird to you?” I mused.
“What?”
“Just…that phrase. We left Finland and entered Russia. Like, how often do people get to say that?” I wondered.
“People who drive from Finland to Russia?” Ashley muttered. “Yet, it doesn’t seem weird to you that you upped and left your band to follow a strange kid into a country you’ve never been to?
Not just followed, but determined to find a possibly dangerous man and help said kid when his rights to the throne?”
“Shut up.” I warned, glancing out the window and following the moon’s travel with my eyes.
“Hey, I’m here, aren’t I?” he pointed out.
“Yeah, and I appreciate that.” I smiled, leaning over and placing a kiss on the side of Ashley’s cheek.
After taking a few minutes to miss with his phone, it was another half hour before Ashley pulled in front of a hotel.
“You have arrived at your destination.” the monotone voice announced from his phone speakers.
“Thank fuck.”
Getting out of the car, I stretched my limbs before tapping on Alexei’s window and opening the door.
“Whaa?” he yawned, rubbing his eyes.
“It’s time to head in for the night.” I told him, offering a hand and helping him out of the car.
“Not that he needs it.” Ashley commented. “He’s been asleep for the past four hours or so.”
“I know.”
Grabbing our bags, we clambered into the spacious lobby and waited for Ashley to inquire about a room.
He returned some minutes later with two plastic cards, handing one of them to me.
“Thanks.” I accepted, pressing the button on the elevator.
Alexei didn’t move.
“Alex?” I called out, watching his frozen form. “Are you coming?”
“Uh…”
He stared at the lit up panel with all the numbers listed, the five highlighted as we tried to reach our floor.
“What..?” he stammered, gazing at the rapidly closing doors and jumping back from it.
Ashley stuck his hand out, causing the doors to reopen. “Come on, Alex!” he urged.
Shaking his head, Alex took a step forward and finally stepped inside, gripping on to my shirt.
“It’ll be alright.” I whispered in his ear.
We reached the fifth floor without any casualties, finally unlocking the door to our room.
It was a small space, with practically the same set-up as last night’s hotel.
“I’m going to pick up something to eat.” Ashley informed us, after stepping out of the bathroom.
“Alright.”
He kissed my forehead goodbye and left.
“Do you think Ashley will bring more coffee?” Alexei asked, a hopeful hint in his voice.
“I’m sure he will.” I yawned, pulling out my phone and texting Ash to bring some coffee.
“Good.”
It was silent for a few minutes before he spoke up again.
“Andy?”
“Yes?”
“I was wondering if you could tell me about…” he trailed off, hesitance ringing in his voice.
“What?”
“Last night, you were telling Ashley about how you know what it’s like…when nobody believes in you. What did you mean?”
Smiling, I patted the spot next to me on the bed.
He got up from the floor and curled up beside me. “Well, it was when I was around seventeen…” I mused.
“I’ve been wanting to start a band for a while, you know? I had an attempt at a garage band named Biersack – my last name, but that didn’t work out. I was counting the days until I turned eighteen, so I could move to California.
Well, I did and everything was a mess. I was living in my car, sharing rent for a crappy apartment that wasn’t even worth half my share, and trying to find members for a band.
I was playing guitar at the park, trying to gather enough money for dinner – which was usually day old tacos at 7-11 or some shit.” I laughed.
“It was pretty bad, honestly.” I sighed. “Eventually, I had gathered some working members and we had released a music video for Knives and Pens on a really small budget.
People were telling me to give up and go home. I was just a kid with too big of dreams and there wasn’t a point. All these people were kicking me down and trying to push me off a ledge, but I wasn’t about to let that happen.
I fought to make my dreams a reality, and I did. We just got off a tour in fucking Finland, for our third studio album which had a full-length film as a part of this whole thing!”
“Black Veil Brides…” Alex repeated, lost in thought.
“Yeah, the name came from this thought I had one. Kind of, like in a church? A nun would give everything up to God and basically marry herself to the church, and she’d wear a veil. They were like a black veiled bride.
In this sense, it’s like we’re giving up everything for this band and we’re marrying the music.”
“That’s creative.” Alex smiled.
He tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear, pulling out my iPod from his pocket and scrolling.
“I memorized a song, by the way.” he informed me.
“Which?”
“Sweet Blasphemy.”
The intro music started playing, and he started to murmur the words until it reached the chorus.
There, he was able to sing loudly and confidently.
He paused during the bridge, glancing at me from under long eyelashes as his blue eyes twinkled.
Chuckling, I ran my fingers through his hair.
“What?” he mouthed.
“You.” I laughed, leaning a little closer to him and moving my fingers from his hair to his cheek.
“What about me?” he questioned.
“You’re adorable as hell, Lex.” I murmured, closing the distance and pressing a kiss to his lips.