Anorexic Beauty
On the Inside
She stood in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom, cheeks dry but tears on the verge of spilling. The scale had been removed from the house until further notice, but as she stood there her fears began to fall out, apparent in the reflection within the mirror. Her weight had increased and she had gained. For weeks she convinced herself that this weight was the good weight, this weight would be healthy for her, but upon inspection in the mirror she could see her own weight gain as anything but.
Talon-like fingernails clawed into her bare flesh, at the faded stretchmarks and the battered skin that used to spell out the word 'FAT' in big and bold letters. Those were from another lifetime ago, and she had been on the verge of recovery for the past six months. Every bite of food was calculated, but passed inspection sometimes begrudgingly, because it was for a good cause.
"They lie to you. You're FAT." She couldn't stop from the words coming through her head as she grabbed at the belly flab, at those disgusting handlebars. She went from a size 0 to a size 4. She was in the right zone now for someone her size and age, but some days she felt the need to rip off those pesky pounds once more. "You're never going to be pretty enough. You're such a fugly woman."
Jacob leaned in the bedroom door, watching her closely. She was unaware of his presence, lost in another world much more colder and harsher than this one. He knew what she was thinking even without seeing her bare skin and her obsessive pulling at wherever her weight gain was. He had expected he'd be coming home one day to her once again standing in front of the mirror in nothing but undergarments, crying her eyes out. It had been in her expression for the past few weeks every now and again during mealtimes or when she was in the process of picking out her outfits. A sad expression came into those sapphire eyes for a split second before disappearing again and her happier side coming out. Sometimes it was hard to pull her from the bad side. Sometimes Ana would almost win.
With the stealth of a cat, Jacob creeped up behind her to get a closer look at her image in the mirror. Her skin was porcelain, now transformed with just the right amount of curves to make her look radiant. Her hips were fuller, her arms looked sturdy. No more was he in fear of breaking her just by an innocent hug. Her eyes flickered to his for a second in the mirror before staring back down at her stomach guiltily.
"I'm sorry." She said.
"For what?" Jacob asked.
"For this. For being ugly." Jacob pulled his arms through hers, taking her hands as they pulled at her stomach. She entwined their fingers, squeezing his hands.
"You'll never know how beautiful you are to me." He said, giving her a peck on the cheek. Her face went red, just as expected. He loved to make her blush, and complimenting her was the easiest way. She said she had never believed a man's compliment before she met him. Something about him made her believe he was telling the truth, even when she didn't see it herself.
"I look fat." She said. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. His arms were thick, and Jacob himself wasn't the thinnest in size but instead was stocky built. Never had he been particularly skinny, but he didn't care.
"Nonsense. You look healthy now. You're no longer skin and bones." Jacob pulled her hair away from her neck and kissed the hollow there. "It's nice hugging you and not feeling like I'm ready to break you. When you were thin, you looked sickly. Now, you look radiant." She turned around, and Jacob pulled her into the protection of his arms. He rubbed her back, comfortingly.
"Why do you love me like this?"
"Because, inside you're beautiful."
Talon-like fingernails clawed into her bare flesh, at the faded stretchmarks and the battered skin that used to spell out the word 'FAT' in big and bold letters. Those were from another lifetime ago, and she had been on the verge of recovery for the past six months. Every bite of food was calculated, but passed inspection sometimes begrudgingly, because it was for a good cause.
"They lie to you. You're FAT." She couldn't stop from the words coming through her head as she grabbed at the belly flab, at those disgusting handlebars. She went from a size 0 to a size 4. She was in the right zone now for someone her size and age, but some days she felt the need to rip off those pesky pounds once more. "You're never going to be pretty enough. You're such a fugly woman."
Jacob leaned in the bedroom door, watching her closely. She was unaware of his presence, lost in another world much more colder and harsher than this one. He knew what she was thinking even without seeing her bare skin and her obsessive pulling at wherever her weight gain was. He had expected he'd be coming home one day to her once again standing in front of the mirror in nothing but undergarments, crying her eyes out. It had been in her expression for the past few weeks every now and again during mealtimes or when she was in the process of picking out her outfits. A sad expression came into those sapphire eyes for a split second before disappearing again and her happier side coming out. Sometimes it was hard to pull her from the bad side. Sometimes Ana would almost win.
With the stealth of a cat, Jacob creeped up behind her to get a closer look at her image in the mirror. Her skin was porcelain, now transformed with just the right amount of curves to make her look radiant. Her hips were fuller, her arms looked sturdy. No more was he in fear of breaking her just by an innocent hug. Her eyes flickered to his for a second in the mirror before staring back down at her stomach guiltily.
"I'm sorry." She said.
"For what?" Jacob asked.
"For this. For being ugly." Jacob pulled his arms through hers, taking her hands as they pulled at her stomach. She entwined their fingers, squeezing his hands.
"You'll never know how beautiful you are to me." He said, giving her a peck on the cheek. Her face went red, just as expected. He loved to make her blush, and complimenting her was the easiest way. She said she had never believed a man's compliment before she met him. Something about him made her believe he was telling the truth, even when she didn't see it herself.
"I look fat." She said. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. His arms were thick, and Jacob himself wasn't the thinnest in size but instead was stocky built. Never had he been particularly skinny, but he didn't care.
"Nonsense. You look healthy now. You're no longer skin and bones." Jacob pulled her hair away from her neck and kissed the hollow there. "It's nice hugging you and not feeling like I'm ready to break you. When you were thin, you looked sickly. Now, you look radiant." She turned around, and Jacob pulled her into the protection of his arms. He rubbed her back, comfortingly.
"Why do you love me like this?"
"Because, inside you're beautiful."