Dear ---------,
The Letter
Dear ---------,
I know you are probably are blaming yourself as you read this but trust me when I saw this - IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT. I love you, it's true. your probably the only person i loved that truly loved me back.
That is why I had to do it.
Wasn't I just an anchor for you anyway? Holding you back from your true potential? You deserve to be free, to fly through life not wondering and worrying about myself. You deserve to love someone who will love you back and help you succeed. Not someone who is destined to be nothing but a let down to everyone around, including you.
You are probably thinking you could have stopped this. Saw some signs that could have saved me... us? It wouldn't have mattered anything you did. I thought about it all. I spent hours, days, weeks, months thinking about this; agonizing about how I would do this and how I would tell you...
You are the only one who truly cared.
I pray this won't be a burden. I pray you go on and forget about me. I pray you won't hate me. I pray for your happiness. I PRAY FOR YOU!
I'm sorry my dear, but if you do ever think about me, I hope you think of better times.
Like that time at the park. Those kids were making fun of me, but you stood up for me. The only person to ever do that, you didn't even know me. I was just some kid crying on the floor, and you cared enough.
I told you everything and didn't laugh. You cared. You kept every secret I told you. You made me feel happy for the first time in my life.
Remember that time I told you about what my brother did to me? You didn't make fun of me. You tried to make me talk out my feelings more. You always made me want to talk more. Get it off my chest, you told me, it will make me feel better! It did work, until I felt guilty. Why did I burden you with all this pain?
You probably already know an answer to one question you always asked now, but you probably wondering how long. I've been cutting myself since I was 10, it made me feel better when I did. I swear I tried to quit, but every day after school. After all the misery those 'peers' made me feel, I just couldn't help it. It was my release.
My brother found out once, and told me to cut deeper.
I hate myself.
I hate my brother.
I hate everything... but you. How can I hate you?
There is only one problem with this... you don't exist.
I know you are probably are blaming yourself as you read this but trust me when I saw this - IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT. I love you, it's true. your probably the only person i loved that truly loved me back.
That is why I had to do it.
Wasn't I just an anchor for you anyway? Holding you back from your true potential? You deserve to be free, to fly through life not wondering and worrying about myself. You deserve to love someone who will love you back and help you succeed. Not someone who is destined to be nothing but a let down to everyone around, including you.
You are probably thinking you could have stopped this. Saw some signs that could have saved me... us? It wouldn't have mattered anything you did. I thought about it all. I spent hours, days, weeks, months thinking about this; agonizing about how I would do this and how I would tell you...
You are the only one who truly cared.
I pray this won't be a burden. I pray you go on and forget about me. I pray you won't hate me. I pray for your happiness. I PRAY FOR YOU!
I'm sorry my dear, but if you do ever think about me, I hope you think of better times.
Like that time at the park. Those kids were making fun of me, but you stood up for me. The only person to ever do that, you didn't even know me. I was just some kid crying on the floor, and you cared enough.
I told you everything and didn't laugh. You cared. You kept every secret I told you. You made me feel happy for the first time in my life.
Remember that time I told you about what my brother did to me? You didn't make fun of me. You tried to make me talk out my feelings more. You always made me want to talk more. Get it off my chest, you told me, it will make me feel better! It did work, until I felt guilty. Why did I burden you with all this pain?
You probably already know an answer to one question you always asked now, but you probably wondering how long. I've been cutting myself since I was 10, it made me feel better when I did. I swear I tried to quit, but every day after school. After all the misery those 'peers' made me feel, I just couldn't help it. It was my release.
My brother found out once, and told me to cut deeper.
I hate myself.
I hate my brother.
I hate everything... but you. How can I hate you?
There is only one problem with this... you don't exist.
With love, and hate,
Nobody
Nobody