Wild Secrets Within

To say that I was nervous was a bit of an understatement. Nervous for me was nail-biting and slight jitters; this? This was torture with a little bit of freaking out. Like – what was I supposed to wear to a party? I had never been to a party before…. A dress felt too formal – though I was sure that would surely catch his attention – but everything else felt too casual.

I had finally settled (not without a good ten outfits tried on first) on some dark wash skinny jeans with a nice, loosely-fit top. In my own mind, I looked pretty – maybe even sexy, though I didn’t want to sound conceited – and I only hoped that I could impress Aidan with it.

Then again, the thought made my heart hurt. What if I really couldn’t impress him? – Or worse… What if he was already there with a girl? I had made the promise to Riley that, if I made him go, there would be no alcohol consumption between us – and, obviously, no sex, though I certainly wasn’t that type of girl. If I saw Aidan there and he ignored me, I might just have to break that promise though - of humility.

Then again, I was certainly hoping that I could get the same response from Aidan as I did from Riley. I had often heard of a person being characterized as looking like a deer in headlights, though I had never really understood it – never having seen a deer or person that looked in such a way. Riley was the exact example of what that meant. Eyes wide… mouth slightly open as if he was trying to explain himself for getting caught. In that way, he also looked like a fish out of water in the way that his mouth was flopping open and closed.

When he did regain speech, he didn’t seem so pleased. “Are you sure you want to go out like that?” He asked. Hell, I hadn’t even made it down the girls’ dormitory stairway and he was already spewing opinions.

“We’re going to a party,” I answered him, almost on the edge of annoyance. “It’s a pair of jeans and a shirt – there’s nothing special about that.”

Riley seemed lost for words again and merely shrugged. “Tight – tight – jeans,” he said disapprovingly. “I thought we were just going to go hang out and give Maddi some friendly moral support before we leave. I don’t know if the male population will let you leave!”

We walked down the hallway like that because I refused to let Riley stand there any longer and taunt me. If I had, I probably would’ve ended up marching back up those stairs and hiding away instead of going to the party. That would’ve been a disaster – for both Maddi, who was counting on me, and Aidan, who I was hoping to see there.

We stopped just down the hall from James’s place as I caught my breath – not because I was worn out from the walk but because I was so nervous that my breathing wasn’t right. I was dying to know what took place in one of these parties, but I was also abundantly afraid of it.

That was when Maddi came out the front door with a red solo cup in her hand that smelled of the sweet acidity of alcohol. How she had known we were out here was beyond me, but she did. There was an extra bounce in her step as if she were skipping and I could see a smug look upon her face.

“I was thinking you two weren’t going to make it!” She said, pulling me into a hug so feverishly that warned me she had had more alcohol than what was in that half-empty cup of hers. She pulled me away from Riley by my forearm. “I couldn’t keep both Aidan and Zane in sight. You should thank me that I chose to be such a good friend and follow around Aidan instead of my own guy. And I think he’s waiting for you.”

I only found myself blushing and I did, indeed, feel like going back home and never coming back. I had never been so nervous for something in my life, but now I was especially nervous.

I let Maddi lead us inside while I clung to Riley during the long walk in. I had the notion to let go of him as soon as we got in there though – I certainly didn’t want Aidan thinking that I was with Aidan as anything more than a friend.



The party was a little more…gruesome than expected? I had never known that there was a strobe-light type atmosphere – and hell, the walls must’ve been made of extra sound-proof material because the music was quite loud for a party like this to go undetected and uncrashed. Not to mention the music was trashy for my taste. Not exactly the most pleasant or the most danceable. There were more couples hip-to-hip grinding than what I could actually consider dancing.

I wondered if that was Aidan’s normal scene. The thought made me blush again but it went unnoticed in the twirling lights of the strobe lights. There was smoke to cover it up too; it left me confused if there were smoke machines around or if people were smoking something. I really didn’t want to know – or take part in it at all.

A boy with eyes who seemed to be sinisterly glowing red stalked up to us and I stepped behind Maddi in slight fear. I wondered what he was on that made his eyes glow like that.

“Maddi,” he said in a voice that reminded me of a growl and I flinched slightly. He stooped down to kiss her but she pushed him away.

“James – how many times do I have to tell you that I’m not interested?” She asked in a huffing voice, pushing on his chest to keep him away.

“I’ll get you sometime, doll!” He teased before turning his eyes onto me. “And who might this lovely girl be?” He asked, smirking as he grabbed my hand bringing it to his lips so he could kiss my hand.

“Julie,” Maddi answered, looking totally exasperated as she looked off into the distance, catching sight of Zane, but seemed conflicted as to if she should leave us alone.

“Ah, the famous Julie?” He asked with a smirk. “Well, you are just as pretty as they say you are. Too bad you’re – “

“And we’re going now,” she said, pushing me away before James could finish whatever sentence he had started. She led me and Riley over to the drink table and poured us both a cup of “punch” – though I doubted it was anything so innocent. “Now go have some fun!” She said before walking away again. As soon as she had, Riley took the cup from me and threw it in a nearby trash can.

“Don’t let anyone get you any drinks – first rule of going to parties.” From his jacket he pulled out two bottles of soda – a Coca-Cola for me and then a Dr. Pepper for himself. I had to chuckle to myself that he came so prepared, but I didn’t say anything. It was certainly too loud for us to actually talk.

We had to move slightly as someone threw up over the banister of the balcony floor above and then another two fell over the bar there, fighting over something with growls in their voices that seemed quite inhuman to me.

Glasses were broken and it felt as if the whole house was shaking from the excitement of all of the dancing and craziness. I felt like I was dropped into one of those crazy party scenes of a movie.

It was at this point that a miscellaneous person of the crowd called out that there was a person who needed help and Riley, being the acclaimed son of a doctor that he was, ran off to help. Well, so much for sticking together for protection… But I didn’t exactly mind; I had yet to see Aidan around and I wanted to find him. I wondered what he was up to if he wasn’t looking for me like I was watching for him.

I felt hands on my waist from behind me and smiled with a slight blush. I certainly hadn’t expected Aidan to be so blunt about it, but I certainly couldn’t mind…”I’ve been waiting to get you alone, darling,” I heard the devilish tone in the voice.

Turning around, I knew before I was even fully turned that it wasn’t him. I was staring again into those red eyes of James. He was smirking down at me, and when I went to pull back, his grip on my waist grew even tighter.

He took the soda bottle from my hands and placed it on the table. “How about you let me show you some fun?” He stepped closer and I shook my head, wishing Riley hadn’t left.

“No, I’m okay over here…” I said, trying to pull away but I couldn’t. “Please.”

With every motion I did to pull away, his grip on me got tighter. I wanted to cry but I seriously couldn’t do anything.

“Come on, babe,” he said with a smirk. “I’d be slow – I know how to take care of a girl.” James had pulled me up against his chest now and I started to beat my fists on his muscular chest, trying to do whatever I could to get away as he started to lead me away from the crowd of this main room.

There were plenty of people there, grinding on the dancefloor, drinking, or making out along the outskirts of the dancefloor, but none of them seemed to notice us. I was fighting him with all of my might, but I couldn’t do anything to get away from him….

Until a stranger that was still deep enough in the shadows behind James that I couldn’t see him placed a hand on his shoulder with a threatening groan that sounded like a growl.

“James, learn to take a hint,” the voice said in a vibrating tone that held that same growl. “She’s obviously not interested – now let her go.” There was a threat in the tone… Even I was scared, and it wasn’t aimed towards me.

James threw his hands off of me and pushed me away faster than I knew was possible for a guy that seemed so stoned or wasted (I wasn’t sure which would make him act so evil). He stormed off and I rubbed at my wrists where he had grasped uncomfortably tight.

“Thanks,” I said to the shadow, unsure if my savior was even still standing there or had disappeared when James had left me alone.

“It’s no big deal,” the voice replied with what I could tell as a smile on his face. It made me smile…

And then he stepped out of the shadows. Aidan Starling….

He smirked at me for another moment before he seemed to pull his eyes away, raking a hand through his hair with a sigh.

“You really should be more careful than that with a guy like James around – that’s just asking for trouble.” He stated, but there still seemed to be something that kept him from fully looking at me. I wondered what it was, but I didn’t ask. “And where’s your boy-toy now?” He asked with a growl.

“He’s not a boy-toy,” I argued. “He’s a good friend of mine, not a boy toy.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Off with a better girl, eh?” He teased with a smirk.

“And what exactly are you up to?” I asked. There seemed to be a magnetic field that had pulled both of our bodies together so that we were standing just inches apart – up to the point where I had to lean my head back slightly to look up at him and he was glancing down – yet he still tried to avoid me as best as he could. I could see his eyes trying to slide away from mine, yet it seemed as if they could only slide on back. That was how I felt too... I needed him like the oxygen in the air - no matter how cliché that sounded. "I don't see you with someone." Maybe it was me trying to find out if he was single... Was that wrong of me?

"I'm not looking to be with anyone!" He clarified, and I frowned slightly. Maddi had obviously lied when she said he was looking for me. Why this magnetic field then? Neither of us could stay away from one another, but it was obvious that he was trying...

"Then why come to a party where everyone finds someone to hook up with?"

"Aidan - there's a va - " His friend, Marc, walked up to us but stopped in his tracks. "There's a fight... We need back-up."

Aidan went to walk away and then turned back to me. "Go find your friend and go home... It's not safe for you here!" He warned, and I felt obliged to do it.

I felt completely lost now. Did he have feelings for me - or not? The way we talked, it seemed like we both couldn't stand each other - but why did I feel differently in my heart?

Hopelessly confused and falling for someone that I couldn't stand... Damn, I needed serious help.