Save Rock and Roll

I sigh, running a hand through my disheveled hair, and rubbing my eye with the other. Fighting with my boyfriend of 8 months always takes the life out of me. Jack and I had been arguing a lot more lately, mostly about money. Since my income as a low grade drug dealer isn't very steady, and Jack can't seem to hold down a job for more than a month. Hell, even getting a decent-paying occupation isn't exactly easy for a high school dropout.

Ten minutes ago, Jack had stormed out of our shared apartment after a particularly rough screaming match. The moment he left, I knew I was the one at fault. Jack's shaking, on-the-verge-of-tears voice when he told me not to wait up for him tonight told me that. The impediment occurred when Jack had come home almost immediately after he had set out for his latest job interview, blubbering about how he was too nervous, he just knew the fine establishment of Burger King would never accept him as an employee. I was in a shitty mood due to recently losing a well paying customer, and I was insensitive to Jack's insecurities about working.

Heading outside and down the street, I walk at a fairly rapid pace, despite the fact that I don't think it'll be too hard to track down my beau, seeing as he really doesn't have anywhere else to go. In the months since I took the homeless boy in, Jack had spent most of his days not straying far from the street our apartment building resides, unless to venture to an interview or the public library after a particularly discouraging meeting with potential employers.

Wait! That's probably where he's headed! Jack always goes to the library when he's upset about something. I break into a run, heading for Thames Street, where I knew he must be.

I reach South Baltimore's branch of public libraries in record time, not wasting time ducking between shelves and going straight to the nearest librarian behind a desk and asking if she had seen my dark haired lover. She directs me towards the adult nonfiction where I find a puffy eyed teenager trying to distract himself from being upset.

I whisper his name, and immediately Jack's head snaps up. His eyes swim with sadness and a bit of anger, and my heart cracks at the sight. Instinctively, I step forward to wrap my arms around the younger boy in an attempt to comfort him and hoping the apology in my eyes convey how I feel about the argument, about him.

"Fuck you, go cry me a fucking ocean!" Jack hisses, swatting me away. I don't give in, though, looking deep in his eyes once more, so full of mixed emotions, and whispering an apology and wrapping my slightly muscly arms around his waist and planting a soft kiss to his hair. Jack tenses at first, then sighs and leans into the affection, setting whatever book he immersed himself in previously on the shelf. He presses his face into the crook of my neck and curls his hands into loose fists against my chest.

"Alex...," My boyfriend's soft voice is hard to hear like this, so I suggest we get coffee at the little place down the street, a suggestion he silently agreed to, pulling me out the door and down to the coffee shop, "Six Feet Under," without a word spoken between us until we were both seated and sipping hot beverages.

The first to break the silence, I sigh for what seems like the millionth time today, cutting to the chase."I'm sorry for my behavior. I was angry about something completely different, and acted childishly. I was insensitive to your situation. Please....forgive me." My eyes flicker down to stare at my fidgeting hands, then back up into Jack's deep brown eyes.

Jack rolls the sleeves up on the hoodie of mine he was wearing to hold his cup better. "I...I forgive you. You were having a bad work day, and my sudden resistance to getting a job wasn't helping in that moment. I just...in the past few months, I've applied to different places so many times, and gotten rejected by most of them! It's so much harder to be employed anywhere these days with my résumé, a-and the pressure got to me, I guess."

Looking like he might start crying again, my boyfriend fixes his vision on the cream colored table, and I suddenly wish we didn't sit on opposite sides of the booth. Reaching across the area between us, I tilt his stubble covered chin upwards, forcing Jack to meet my eyes.

"It's okay, Jack. Really. I know it's hard these days, I mean, hello? Drug dealer. Breaking several of my moral codes here," A small smile graces my brown eyed baby's face, and my hand falls into his. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a flyer tacked to the bulliten board by the door, and a relevation occurs. Jumping out of my seat, I rush to grab it and bring it back to the table for me to get the details on this program.

Jack scrutinizes the piece of paper I set in front of him. "'Dropout recovery?'"

My grin grows as I explain the process to him. "Basically, you set up hours on your terms in which you can go to a REC center and make up high school credits you lack, and eventually get your diploma, while earning college credits, too! I had a bug brother who did the same when he was nineteen-trust me, it's not easy, but it's effective, and totally worth it, in my opinion. I think you should go for it."

Jack hesitates. "How am I supposed to get there? I may have a license, but neither of us a car, and what about tuition fees? I doubt I can pay for this, Alex, and-,"

"The state of Maryland provides per-pupil funding for it, so lessons are free to anyone under the age of 21. I also think now is a good time to mention that I've been setting aside a potion of my income every time I am paid for the purpose of getting a car for a few months now, because I thought it would be good to have one if you get a job far enough away from home and recently a coworker told me he was getting rid of an old truck and would sell it to me for dirt cheap, considering our rater friendly business in the past and the fact that the old Chevy of his probably isn't worth a large sum of money, anyway," I rush to inform my boyfriend. "I wanted to run it by you before I bought it, though. What do you think?"

Jack stares blankly at the flyer for a moment, turning the idea around in his head, then nods, looking back up at me and grinning. "That sounds perfect. I'll pay for gas, though."

I laugh. "Sure, honey. Whatever makes you comfortable." Then, we both lean across the table at the same time for a quick peck on the lips, and rush out the door to head back to our place. Yes, we still live in the same apartment as we did at the beginning of our relationship, the same I've been living in for nearly two years now. We couldn't exactly afford to move out. Hell, we're barely getting by! I think that's what's caused most of the tension lately. Jack's scared of losing what little we have, and of the neighborhood we're in. Let's just say its not exactly the safest place in Baltimore. But, hey. Not exactly the safest crowd I'm running with.

By now, I know all the rules to hanging out with such a dangerous crowd. Don't ask questions. Don't get involved. Do what you have to do to get by, and worry about the legal and moral repercussions later. I've been doing this since I was 17, it's been three, nearly four years since Tom's unfortunate drunk motorcycle accident that caused my parents deep financial debt due to a lack of insurance and a load of hospital bills. A few months after that day, when I really saw it getting bad for my family, I decided to make things easier and move out. I stayed with an older friend, Matt Flyzik, for a while, then finished out high school and moved from my hometown of Towson to Baltimore to pursue a less than ambitious musical career. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I had slipped through the cracks and started selling it instead. Jack knew all of this, too.

"Hey, Alex?" He asked me, back at our apartment, curled up in our queen-sized mattress reading together.

"Yes, love?"

The almost nineteen year old giggles at his favorite nickname. "Why don't you go with me tomorrow, and register for some college credit classes, too?"

Sighing, I reply with a shrug. "I don't know, Jack. Even if I did, it's hell to get out of this kind of 'career,' that I have now. Nearly impossible, some have died trying."

"Oh," He frowns and pushes his thick-rimmed glasses up. "Do you think you could at least go once or twice, for me? I don't want to be alone." Jack turns on the puppy dog eyes, something he knows I can't refuse.

"...Fine. I'll go."

My lover cheers, hugging me hard and peppering my face and neck with light kisses. "Thank you so much! Whoopee! This is gonna be awesome!"

Laughing, I snuggle him closer and capture his lips in a deep, passionate kiss that seems to last days. His hand rests against my heart, and the other on my neck. My left hand cups his cheek and the other tangles in his dark locks. Eventually, we have to pull away briefly for air, and by the dim yellow light of our bedside lamp, I take in flushed cheeks, slightly swollen lips, even more than usually mussed up hair. Then we're back to kissing, this time heatedly frenching as my hands slip under his shirt and pull it off when our lips next part for breath. The rest of our clothing soon follows suit (no pun intended) while half lidded looks and love drunk kisses are exchanged.

I move down to his neck, and make a couple deep hickeys, eliciting moans from my dark haired lover, then move on to lap at his already hardened nipples. When I bite down, Jack cries out and bucks his hips upwards into mine, letting me feel his hard cock rub against mine.

Letting out identical groans, my boyfriend's hips move perfectly in sync with mine, and in my lust-clouded mind I wonder if there is anything or anyone more perfect. Jack Barakat, this crazy, outrageous kid, woke me up. I'm no longer content with just getting by doing nothing but hurting people. He is the darkness in my little box of a world I thought was light. And I don't want to be anywhere else but by his side on every night for the rest of my life.

I feel that familiar fire growing in my gut, and stop my and Jack's motion before it's too late, straddling his hips and leaning over him, my hands curled in the sheets on either side of his head. "I want this to last, want to remember your face through it all, want to feel you I ways I can never forget...," I whisper to the dark eyed boy below me. He pulls me down into the best-and worst-kiss yet, full of clacking teeth and bruised lips and love beyond any I've ever shared with someone up until this point in my life.

I pull away first, fumbling to grab the lube resting on the bedside table while Jack busies himself with running his hands up and down my chest, and he pinches one of my nipples sharply when I nearly drop the bottle. I whimper at the contact, and Jack flips me over onto my back so quickly I'm left disoriented for a moment. The younger boy has never taken charge in the bedroom prior to now, like this.

Jack grabs the bottle of lubricant, slicking three fingers with the liquid, and I feel butterflies erupt in my stomach, although the thought of getting finger fucked does not deter my raging hard on.

Sensing my nervousness, my lover caresses my face, kissing me in an attempt to comfort me. "Relax, baby, it makes everything better, if you want me to stop, just say so."

I take in a deep breath, and nod. Scarcely after I signal for him to begin, Jack's long pointer finger is probing my entrance and pushing in agonizingly slow, while he mouths at my neck to distract me from the awkward feeling. I've never been on bottom before, never even masturbated like this, so it's all very fresh and new and a little uncomfortable, yet...Not painful. The digit moves in and out of my ass slowly, and I know from the way Jack is angling his finger differently each time, he's searching for my prostate.

"Mmh, Jaaaack," I moan lowly, dragging out the vowel. My lover smirks devilishly at me, and I can tell how much he's enjoying this. "Another."

Chuckling, he complies, and I gasp in slight pain. Jack kisses my lips roughly, then sits back on his ankles to watch his long fingers slide in and out of my virgin hole. Then, he crooks his fingers, and ohfuckshithefuckingfoundIT. I moan the loudest yet, sounding so embarrassingly needy. "O-oh! Jack!"

"Yeah, baby?" He asks in a husky voice, pumping those two perfect fingers into my sweet spot faster than I thought possible. "You want me to fuck you harder? So hard, you can't feel your fucking legs, 'till you can't feel your fucking legs?"

I nod vigorously, brown hair flopping in my eyes. "Fuck, yes, o-oh, please, Jack, just fuck me already, Christ, I need you so bad-"

My lover cuts off the rest of my sex driven babbling with a lopsided grin, pulling out his fingers and leaving me fucking whimpering at the loss let me tell you,. I have never whimpered before, not in my life, much less sex. The things this boy could do to me.

Jack lubes himself up, and asks me how I want it. Without a moment's hesitation, I drag myself onto shaking arms and wobbling knees, sticking my ass right in his face. I feel his warm, callused hands grip my ass cheeks, then pull them apart, and oh shit is he gonna do what I thi-

"Ah, Jack!" I scream, in a way that would put any porn star out of business and let the neighbors know we're not to be disturbed tonight. His tongue laps at my still-warm hole lightly, then plunges in suddenly. "Oh, god, Jack, I c-can't believe you- you're amazing, I-, "

The babbling and amazing rim job go on for a few more minutes, and then Jack pulls away too soon but just in time, seeing as I was about to cum, and I'm sure he wasn't too far behind, either.

"Get ready, babe...," The younger boy growls. "This'll hurt a bit." And then. Then, Jack pushes in slowly, gripping my hips like a lifeline and not stopping until he his balls touched my ass.

"Fuck," I breathed, tears prickling at my eyes, threatening to spill over. God, it felt like hell. I take a few ragged, deep breaths, trying to gulp as much air as possible, as if filling my lungs will make the pain disappear. Gripping the sheets, I decide it's about as good as its going to get, and give Jack the go-ahead.

My lover is pressing warm, wet kisses all over my back and neck, a silent form of an apology, as he pulls almost all the way out, and then slowly back in. I know he must be practicing great self control, from several experiences on his end of it. The first few thrusts hurt so unimaginably much for me, but I took it, knowing the pay off would be amazing, so long as Jack found my prostate.

"FUCK! JACK, OH, JACK!" I scream, knowing my throat is gonna be raw the next morning. "Harder, faster, ugh, so fucking good!" My dark haired beau complies, and my hips snap back to meet his thrusts, making me see fucking stars.

Jack's got a vice grip on my hips, biting and licking at my shoulders and fucking me harder than he's probably ever fucked anyone in his goddamn life. All I can hear, all I can see, all I can feel and smell is perfect and just so Jack, and the minute he moves a hand to touch my dick I spill my seed on his hand and the sheets. As soon as I recover from a mind-obliterating orgasm, I manage to turn him over onto his back, and my Jack groans at the loss of my ass clenching around his dick. I've got something different in mind, though, and convince him of this by gripping his hips and deep throating him in one swift motion.

Over the years, I have discovered that I have no gag reflex, whatsoever. It's convenient at times like this. I can tell Jack agrees as he moans and grips my hair roughly. I look up at him through my lashes, shamelessly bobbing my head and never breaking steamy eye contact with me. Within a few minutes, he explodes into my mouth, and I swallow every drop.

Jack looks very appreciative of that, and I laugh with a wrecked voice, crawling to rest my head on the pillow beside him. My lover pushes my hair back, gazing into my eyes lovingly. No words were uttered, both of us fearing we might ruin the atmosphere. I snuggle into Jack's side, he puts his arm over my shoulder and turns off the lamp, and we fall asleep like that within seconds.