Save Rock and Roll

Is there such a thing a computer hypnosis? Like highway hypnosis, but with computer screens. You try to pay attention, to process the words you're blankly staring at, but you just can't...focus.

If so, I think that must be what I'm experiencing right now, in the middle of an endless class, eyes burning the fuzzy letters on the screen into my brain, but what it means is still beyond me. A small part of my brain is trying to give me some clarity, cutting through the foggy, aimless thoughts filling up my head, telling me to snap out of it, to answer these silly practice questions already so I can go home with Alex and tumble into bed after a long day of work.

It's only been a week since Alex and I started at this school, and I already feel like I'm at my mental breaking point. I eat, breathe, murmur in my sleep about equations and novellas and what is gravity, anyway? I don't think Alex is going through the same thing, but he definetley seems to grasp the fact that I'm a slightly bitter, lonelier version of myself nowadays. Dont get me wrong; we're not trying to distance ourselves, in fact, we want each other's affection more than ever now, but with our busy schedules it just isn't date night as often any more. No more midnight conversations mumbled into sheets; we're too tired. No more breakfast together; I've got to leave and Alex has to stay. My heart aches for him. We're fighting for each other, but still growing old every day and all too soon, all in the hopes of redemption and a better life.

"Jack?" My teacher, Mr. Cofield, pats me on the shoulder. I turn my head slowly to look at him, rubbing my eyes.

"Yeah?" Our voices are hushed, so we don't disturb the other students.

"Are you doing okay? You don't seem very focused lately, and I'm a bit worried. I know classes can be difficult at first, but you'll get the hang of it eventually." He smiles at me sincerely.

"I'm okay. It's just like you said, hard to get used to the schedule. And my boyfriend and I don't get to see each other much more because of it. It's just a little frustrating, you know? We used to spend almost all day every day with each other, minus job interviews and such." As soon as I finish speaking, I realize, hey-this guy is a near stranger, and you just told him some pretty personal stuff. Oops.

Mr. Cofield doesn't seem to mind, though. Maybe he gets told these kinds of things frequently. "Oh, im no expert on relationships, but how about you take him on a special date this weekend, prove to him you're not going anywhere? I'm sure Alex feels the same way as you do."

"Actually, that sounds like a great idea! Thanks, Mr. Cofield!" I raise my voice in excitement, forgetting momentarily about the students around me.

Cofield shushes me, chucking. "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Barakat," Then, to the rest of the students, " Class dismissed!"

Everyone begins to pack up immediately, including myself. I dart out the door, suddenly a lot less tired than I was before at the thought of Alex. My heart is like a grenade, and he pulls the pin.

"Hey, Jack-o!" He calls, spotting me from down the hall. I don't respond vocally, only hurry to him, burying my face in the crook of his neck and wrapping my lanky arms around him.

"I missed you," I say into Alex's neck, muffled by it.

My lover laughs, a loud, beautiful sound that makes me hold him closer. Alex relaxes into my touch, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. "I missed you too, babe. Can we go home now?"

I smile wearily, and press light kisses to his neck in a trail that leads to his lips, pulling him in for a short, loving lip lock that seems to convey all the emotions bottling up these past few days. Then, I pull away from the warm embrace, and weave our fingers together. "Let's get out of here."

The drive home is quiet, mostly, our hands connected doing all the talking. We're too tired, and there's nothing much to say. We traverse the way to our apartment in the same manner, robotically rustling through the cabinets for dinner when we arrive.

We decide on a hearty meal of off-brand cereal, forgoing the table when I plop down on Alex's lap, laying back on the brown haired boy. He pulls his arms around my torso, his cereal bowl in front of me.

"Hello there, sir," My lover says, a small smile adorning his face. I salute him lazily, grinning. Then, he lifts a spoonful of milk and cereal to my lips. "Fancy a bite?"

I giggle, opening my mouth to accept the breakfast food. I dip the spoon I hold into my bowl, then return the gesture. Alex accepts, smiling at me, brown eyes shining with happiness. We do this back and forth for a while, laughing and lost in our own little world. Eventually, a few kisses are swapped, and before I can blink, my tongue is swirling around his, Alex's hot hand pressing at my cool skin, underneath my shirt. We take it slow, caressing and feeling and tasting, just experiencing in general. Alex tugs gently on the hem of my shirt, and I pull away to take it off, while he removes his.

"You taste like milk." Alex jokes, and I roll my eyes.

"You're one to talk." And then our lips mesh together once more, this time heated, yet still slow. Moaning softly into my lover's mouth, I felt as if every nerve on my body was on fire, burning slow and oh so hot as the man I love ran his hand up and down my sides, across my chest, pressing and pinching at my nipples.

"O-oh, Alex!" I break our lips apart, back arching into his touch ad hips bucking. Lex is quick to place one palm securely on my hip and another warm, callused hand slides to my lower back to keep my body secured on Alex's lap as he presses wet, warm kisses to my neck, sucking and biting a few hickeys into existence there, making me moan loudly and wrap my arms around his neck. Then, my lover hoists me up, carrying me to our bed as I busy myself with giving him a few love bites on his collarbones, sucking and nipping at the protruding skin.

Alex lays me down carefully, as if he's afraid after all of our time together, I'll finally break, like some worn-out doll. We stare into each other's eyes electrifyingly, almost fascinated, as if we were discovering each other all over again.

I feel a surge of raw emotion, staring up at him. "I love you." I say, blushing slightly like I always seem to when I say those words, and suddenly I'm very shy, and I don't want this as much anymore. Turning over on my back, I bury my face in Alex's pillow. Said man presses his lips gently to the back of my neck, and returns the sentiment. The sexual mood is kind of wrecked, and we both know it. My cheeks burn in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry." I murmur, turning my head to face Alex, now laying beside me.

Alex sounds and looks perplexed. "For what?"

"I ruined the mood." I squeak, looking away.

Alex's laugh rings through the room and I feel my cheeks redden even more. "Jacky, look at me." He says, sounding half amused, half sympathetic.

I comply, staring deep into those chocolate eyes. "Yeah?"

The older boy reaches out to caress my face. "I don't mind, at all. Why would I be mad at you for not wanting sex? It's been a hard week for you, and even though I'd like to feel closer to you, that doesn't mean we have to screw. I like you better for your snuggles, anyway."

At the end of this, my face hurts from smiling so big. I think I might melt. Alex makes me so happy, happier than I ever was before, hopping from town to town. He fills me with such...purpose, such drive. I'm overwhelmed.

"Thank you so much," I say sincerely, giving him a peck on the lips. Then, I turn around, my back facing him. "Now spoon me." I demand, stifling giggles.

Alex chuckles, wrapping an arm around my waist. "I love you, too."