Tangled Love

Connor sat quietly at the bus stop, staring at the gravel beneath his sneakers as he waited for his bus. The plane ride had been similar; he had spent most of it staring out the window at the ocean miles below. He was terrified. He was anxious. His heart was pounding in his chest as he counted the minutes till he arrived home. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to deal with it. He was regretting coming back already.

Suddenly realising he was holding his breath, Connor let it out slowly. He focused on the zipper of his bag, fidgeting anxiously as he glanced up at the few other people waiting. Like him, they had duffle bags and suitcases. He recognized them from his high school, figuring they were coming down for the holidays like him. He took in each person, silently placing names to the faces he was seeing. One he didn’t really know personally. The other, however, had caused him a lot of grief when he was younger.

He turned his gaze back to the gravel before either could notice his attention. He didn’t want to deal with either of them right now. He just wanted to go home and try to get through this reunion. He wasn’t sure how it would end. He had a feeling it wouldn’t be so bad, a feeling he prayed was right. He was so tired of being nervous about these sorts of things.

The bus pulled up and he rose quietly, grabbing his things as he followed the rest of the people onto the bus. He noticed movement from the corner of his eye just as he went to climb on, glancing toward it. He spotted a girl racing down the street, lugging a few bags along over her shoulder. She waved, calling something as she motioned toward the bus.

Connor couldn’t hear her but he assumed she was asking him to tell the driver to wait. He climbed on, paid and told the driver to wait a few seconds. The driver nodded just as the girl skidded to a halt by the door. She let out a relieved huff as she climbed on behind Connor, smiling at him gratefully.

“Thanks, Connor,” she said as he turned to walk away. He froze, glancing back at her in surprise only to recognize her a second later.

“Diana?” he asked as he eyed the Haitian walking by. The only evidence of her Korean descent from her mother was her almond-shaped eyes. Otherwise, she had gotten more of her father’s features.

“The one and only,” she said with a smile. “Come on, let’s sit. We’re blocking the door.”

Connor reacted before registering her words. He found himself taking a seat in one of the two-seater spots, looking up as he waited for Diana to catch up. Part of him wanted her to just walk right by. Of course, she would never do that. She sat next to him and met his gaze, grinning widely at him.

“How have you been?” she started, turning her body toward him a little as she got comfortable.

“I haven’t been too bad,” Connor shrugged, eyeing her out from the corner of his eye. “what about
you?”

“About the same,” she admitted, pulling out her phone to check a message before putting it away again. “Decided to come home for the holidays, then? Is Jaime coming back as well?”

Connor nodded, glancing at her briefly before speaking up. “He decided to come when I said I was coming down. I figured it would be nice to see my family again, despite our...issues.”

She didn’t reply right away. Connor found himself wondering if he had said the wrong thing. He was about to change the subject when she pressed on, asking, “It’s still a problem?”

Connor turned to her. “I never called it a problem. I just said we have a few issues. Every family has issues. Nothing serious, a couple of...disagreements here and there, that’s about it.”

She scoffed. “Man, your parents arguing about pointless bullshit is an issue. A pet pissing everywhere is an issue. Your family’s ‘issues’ are much more than that.”

Connor could hear the frown in her voice and looked down at his hands. He didn’t know what to say. Diana had always been protective of him in particular. This had always caused him problems. She always found a way to leave her mark, more than half the time leaving him frustrated and broken-hearted. The girl had been an on and off crush for him since they had met. Something about the way she held herself and defended her friends from jerks at school always got to him. It always gave him a new reason to like her more than he intended.

Sighing, he forced the thought from his mind. Now wasn’t the time to worry about that. He stared out the window as he tried to think of a response. Nothing came and the two fell into a slightly awkward silence. It took about ten minutes for Diana to finally speak up again.

“My stop is coming up,” she said, collecting her things. She pulled out her phone and looked up at her companion. “Can I have your number? We could get together at some point and hang out. Maybe Jaime could come along as well. I’d like to see him. I miss him.”

Connor bit back his annoyance at her last comment but nodded slowly, fishing his phone from his bag. He set up her contact information before trading phones with the girl beside him. She typed in her number and saved it, ringing the bell as she took hers back and rose. She gave him a last smile before walking away.

“It was nice seeing you,” she stated as she walked away backward, her bag slung over her shoulder. “I’ll call you soon, I promise.”

Connor nodded slowly, not really sure how he felt about that promise. As much as he liked her, he knew he wouldn’t see her as a friend. He would want to take it farther and knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be able to. He never had before and that wouldn’t change.

Sighing, he pulled out his iPod and allowed himself to get lost in the world outside. He allowed himself to analyze the people passing by, taking in the warm smiles and happy families walking down the street. It had always been like that, even when he was younger and there had been tension between him and most of the neighbours. They always had those smiles pasted to their faces. Connor couldn’t help but wonder how many were genuine.

His stop came up fairly quick, surprising him. He had become accustomed to having to take a bus ride that lasted nearly forty-five minutes to get from work to school. This left him expecting a good hour of travel. Only he wasn’t going to work and he wasn’t back at school living in his dorm. He was in his hometown and he was five minutes away from his childhood home.

Taking a deep breath, he begged his heart to stop pounding as he walked to the front of the bus to get off. He said a polite thank you to the driver and stepped off, staring down the street he had to walk down. He could see his house at the end of the street. He found himself wondering what was awaiting him there as he began the short walk.

Closing his eyes, he tried to relax. He breathed deeply, hoping to ease his mind and nerves. He was suddenly regretting coming back to this place. He didn’t know what to expect of this summer, wishing he had just stayed with Emmy and Rebecca. He hadn’t, though, and now here he was.

He stared at the house looming over him and slowly approached the door. The cars were in the driveway which meant his parents were home. He frowned softly. He had hoped they would still be at work. Groaning, he tried the door and found it unlocked. He pushed it open and stepped in. He paused, listening to see if he had caught anyone’s attention. Nope, nobody came to see him.

He kicked off his shoes and left his bags near the foyer door. He walked through to the kitchen where he thought he could someone talking. He looked in and sure enough, his father was there talking to his brother. Jaime noticed him first and tensed visibly. The boys’ father noticed and turned, his eyes darkening when he noticed his second son.

“Connor,” he said with a curt nod, his face blank.

“Dad,” his son replied, nervously returning the gesture.

After a few moments of silence, Jaime groaned something that sounded like, “this is going to be fun.”

I tried to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat, staring at my shoes again. Indeed, it will be.