Tomorrowland

**A month and a half later**

“Baby, lay on top of me. You better stop sweet talking me. Before you get a cavity.” He sings the words so perfectly.

It makes my heart slow down a little with absolute happiness and absolute lust. He strums the acoustic guitar and sings the rest of ‘sweetie’. It’s my favorite song of his right now.
After he’s done, I move the guitar from his lap and place myself on it instead. I connect our lips and a slight smile rises (which is not the only thing rising) as the kiss deepens.

He places his big yet gentle hands on my hips. I sway against him and kiss down his neck. I bite him softly then harder by his ear lobe and he releases that hot moan I love so much.
He picks me up and lays me on the bed. He tries to stay on top of me but I don’t like missionary. I put my hands on his and push him down then I roll on top of him.

I go back to sucking on his neck and fumble around with unbuttoning his shirt. I know he’s uncomfortable with his body but I want him. All of him. I couldn't care less what he looked like under the clothes. I fell in love with who he is, that’s really the first thing I noticed, not his weight.

I unzip his pants and start blowing him. I suck faster and deeper, using my hands as well as my mouth. He cries out another pleasure moan that makes me want to do even more. Once I remove my lips from his dick, he pushes me back a little. He slowly takes off my own jeans and I smile. I love how sweet he is during sex.

He puts a condom over him and carefully puts it in me. I’ve done this many times before but it still hurts a little each time. The feeling of me bent over and him pushing inside me is so exciting and amazing. Sex can be a very beautiful thing when you are doing it with the one you love. We are two bodies but in this moment we are connected as one.

He pounds himself deeper inside and I moan louder. I start clawing his back while I bounce on him which cause him to get harder and moan just as loud as me. Someone is banging on the wall telling us to shut it but we just aren’t listening. We’re in our own little world. Our two souls are one. As he shoots his hot load into my ass and I shoot mine on his chest we gasps for air. We get into the shower and help clean off each other.

“Joel, will you get the come off my ass please?” I ask him while cleaning mine off his chest with a grey wash cloth.

“Sure, sweetie” he seductively says and then he does something that takes me by surprise.

He pushes my chest up against the wall, get on his knees and starts clearing the cum with his tongue. I moan against the tiles and the room begins to get steamier to where we can’t see anything. He licks up and down and my body is just collapsing from all the pleasure.

I end up cumming again but this time it’s on the wall. Ejaculating takes a lot out of a guy, Joel holds me as I try catching my breathe. He’s so damn sweet. I look up and wrap my arms around his neck. I pull close to him and kiss him with a force and passion that he feels as well.

“I love you” I pull my mouth away from his and whisper while looking in the window of his soul and it’s just as beautiful as him.

“I love you too. So much.” He says it back and his tone is so warm and soft. I’m so lucky to have him.

We get out of the shower and dry off but don’t put on our clothes. Instead we get under the sheets together and embrace. I’m not normally the lovey-dovey kind of guy but everything is so different with Joel. For the first time in my life I actually have those feelings.

Y’know where they talk about how you would give anything to be with them? Those. Where every love song makes you think of that person. Every time you consider giving up due to a fight you remember why you start loving that person in the first place. The feeling that you would give up your whole life to spend it with them.

The sound of their voice just knocks you off your feet. I’m falling in love. He’s perfect, to me, in every way. I know he can’t love himself the way I do. All I want is for him to love me back and he does.

Sometimes I don’t feel like I deserve his love. Well more like almost all the time rather than sometimes. I’m just not like him. I’m not oh-so sweet and innocent. I’m a disaster. I never know what to say or do. I’m awkward. Nothing comes out the way I want it to. I mess up a lot. I can be mean.

The only things that have kept me happy for my whole life (before I knew Joel) are the same things that are killing me. Everyone knows I smoke pot. It’s not a very big deal, so many people do it. Secretly I’ve been doing harder drugs and I’m hooked on ecstasy. No one knows about it and I’m not willing to let anyone know.

It happened at a rave about 6 months ago. Someone put it in my drink, at first I was unaware I was taking it but as the night went on I came to the realization of what had happened. A few hours later I was on my knees blowing the same guy who spiked my beer. After that night I couldn't help but desire to feel that way again.

I hate myself for using but I love the feeling. When you put the pill in your mouth and the walls start spinning. When you swallow your tablet of help and take a journey (or “trip”) into a wonderland that is so much better than the reality we are force to survive in. When you flick the small happiness into the back your throat and color around you start floating. It’s indescribably amazing.

Though, everything comes at a price especially when you’re a junkie. If Joel ever found out about my guilty pleasure, he’d surely leave. He used to take drugs, a lot of drugs, but he is completely sober now. I’m pretty sure he’d bail if he found out but I don’t want him to let go.

I’m not the type of guy to say “I love you” so soon. I’m not the person to express feelings, I’m way too shy to flirt but with Joel it’s different. Like I've known him all my life and he’s had a part of me this entire time. It’s a crazy yet beautiful feeling. I’m so glad I get to share this feeling with him.