Status: Not all of this story is real, but it's based on true feelings.
A Little To Late.
Alone
<i> She was crying for help.. Could not a soul see? <i>
As a young girl Kitty was picked on daily. The kids would call her a loser, and ugly. She was strong though, she always brushed it off her shoulder. Nothing made her feel bad, she was a confident young girl.
In sixth grade she made a friend, this girl was to become her best friend. They met in an after school activity at the beginning of sixth grade year. The girls name was Claudia. The girls were never apart from each other. Kitty and Claudia were the best of friends.
By the time Kitty hit seventh grade she was hit with depression from all the negative attention she got growing up. She knew how to keep it well hidden. As the year went on she began using the internet more and more. About a fourth of the way into the year she met a boy online, his name was Gabriel. He was three years older then her, but neither of them cared. They began to date over the internet, he made her happy again.
Gabriel was talking about how he used to cope with stress one day, on the phone with Kitty. He was talking about how he'd use a silver blade to make all the pain go away. Kitty got curious and tried to cut herself with a piece of glass, she liked no she loved the feeling it gave her. She didn't tell Gabriel what she did.
One day, some of her friends were having a sleepover. She was talking to them on MSN when out of no where they began to say mean things. The things they said got meaner as it went along, the ended up calling her every name in the book, alone with telling her to go and kill herself. She didn't know what to do other then cry herself to sleep that night. The next day she had no friends, when she got home she really did try and kill herself. Her mother and father never found out no one ever did. Cops got involved with the whole thing, but nothing was ever done.
The summer of her seventh grade year Kitty was crushed, when she found out Gabriel had cheated on her, with not only one, but two people. He did so at a party that she told him he could go to and have fun, it looked like he had a little to much fun. She told him she forgave him, but he left her anyways, come to find out he was flirting with a few of her friends the whole time they were together.
Kitty had no friends for about a year, she was alone. In Eighth grade Kitty made some new friends, and gave some old ones a second chance, but only to be disappointed by most.
The beginning of her ninth grade year was pretty good, she made a lot of new friends, and got a boyfriend who happened to be her best friend. His name was Nate, they had known each other for a few years, he was two grades ahead of her, he was her first kiss. They dated for about a week before Kitty had to move. They dated long distance for about a month before kitty broke it off. She didn't want to get hurt like last time.
At her new school she made some friends, and met one that she met online. Her first few months were rough, but she eventually felt at home. After a while Her friend Stella set her up with a boy named John. Kitty went alone with it, he was cute so what could go wrong? Her and John dated for about three weeks, in those three weeks, they never really talked. She eventually broke up with him, because not only was she scared of being hurt but she was not happy in the relationship.
Kitty was back to her depressed self. She was cutting daily again, and just trying to have a life. She felt so alone.. She'd sit in her room and think about her life. She'd think about all the things they said to her, and how no one really cared. She was alone, no one saw broken she really was. How far form home. She couldn't take it any more. This was not a nightmare, it was reality. She was done, no one could save her now. No one. She was alone, in the dark looking for a way out, in a closed in room. There was only one easy way out... and she took it. She took the blade to her wrist once again before taking every last pill in her house.
She had been crying for help, but no one saw past her mask. They were just a little to late to save her now.
As a young girl Kitty was picked on daily. The kids would call her a loser, and ugly. She was strong though, she always brushed it off her shoulder. Nothing made her feel bad, she was a confident young girl.
In sixth grade she made a friend, this girl was to become her best friend. They met in an after school activity at the beginning of sixth grade year. The girls name was Claudia. The girls were never apart from each other. Kitty and Claudia were the best of friends.
By the time Kitty hit seventh grade she was hit with depression from all the negative attention she got growing up. She knew how to keep it well hidden. As the year went on she began using the internet more and more. About a fourth of the way into the year she met a boy online, his name was Gabriel. He was three years older then her, but neither of them cared. They began to date over the internet, he made her happy again.
Gabriel was talking about how he used to cope with stress one day, on the phone with Kitty. He was talking about how he'd use a silver blade to make all the pain go away. Kitty got curious and tried to cut herself with a piece of glass, she liked no she loved the feeling it gave her. She didn't tell Gabriel what she did.
One day, some of her friends were having a sleepover. She was talking to them on MSN when out of no where they began to say mean things. The things they said got meaner as it went along, the ended up calling her every name in the book, alone with telling her to go and kill herself. She didn't know what to do other then cry herself to sleep that night. The next day she had no friends, when she got home she really did try and kill herself. Her mother and father never found out no one ever did. Cops got involved with the whole thing, but nothing was ever done.
The summer of her seventh grade year Kitty was crushed, when she found out Gabriel had cheated on her, with not only one, but two people. He did so at a party that she told him he could go to and have fun, it looked like he had a little to much fun. She told him she forgave him, but he left her anyways, come to find out he was flirting with a few of her friends the whole time they were together.
Kitty had no friends for about a year, she was alone. In Eighth grade Kitty made some new friends, and gave some old ones a second chance, but only to be disappointed by most.
The beginning of her ninth grade year was pretty good, she made a lot of new friends, and got a boyfriend who happened to be her best friend. His name was Nate, they had known each other for a few years, he was two grades ahead of her, he was her first kiss. They dated for about a week before Kitty had to move. They dated long distance for about a month before kitty broke it off. She didn't want to get hurt like last time.
At her new school she made some friends, and met one that she met online. Her first few months were rough, but she eventually felt at home. After a while Her friend Stella set her up with a boy named John. Kitty went alone with it, he was cute so what could go wrong? Her and John dated for about three weeks, in those three weeks, they never really talked. She eventually broke up with him, because not only was she scared of being hurt but she was not happy in the relationship.
Kitty was back to her depressed self. She was cutting daily again, and just trying to have a life. She felt so alone.. She'd sit in her room and think about her life. She'd think about all the things they said to her, and how no one really cared. She was alone, no one saw broken she really was. How far form home. She couldn't take it any more. This was not a nightmare, it was reality. She was done, no one could save her now. No one. She was alone, in the dark looking for a way out, in a closed in room. There was only one easy way out... and she took it. She took the blade to her wrist once again before taking every last pill in her house.
She had been crying for help, but no one saw past her mask. They were just a little to late to save her now.
♠ ♠ ♠
I sit at home in an empty room, waiting to be saved from myself.The thoughts creep in, taunting me, calling to my insecurities.
They start off small, but begin to grow.
Getting larger and larger, louder and louder until they're screaming, shouting.
I can no longer pretend they aren't there.
They are the only thing present in my mind.
Telling me, I'm not good enough, no one truly cares.
Telling me how I'm nothing but a worthless, pathetic excuse for a human.
They all just feel bad for me, no one will ever truly want such an ugly, fat person.
They only pretend, the only reason they are here is to make fun of me .
I'm just one big joke.
It's so hard to block them out, I want to, but they just keep coming back.
Each time they are louder and stronger, they make me believe.
The feelings that I hold begin to die, slowly, falling, one by one.
Until I feel nothing.
There's no sign of hope, no coming back.
Everything's numb, dead, or broken.
I have no where to turn, no one to tell.
The only escape I have is pain, I inflict pain so I know I'm not dead.
This is not a nightmare, it's reality.
I'm seen, as a happy person.
They don't try and look beyond the outside.
I'm alone, in the dark, looking for a way out with none I can find.