Speechless

~*Falling head over heels, thought I knew how it feels*~

CRASH!

The jarring clash of metal brought Harper Stevens out of the fog her head was in. “Fuck,” she muttered. “I’m sorry. I should not be allowed to drive one of these.”

The masculine chuckle that followed her words brought her eyes up, and then further up still. “Sweet baby jesus,” she thought to herself on a sharp intake of a breath. Tight white t-shirt pulling against an incredible set of arms, longish brown hair, soulful brown eyes. Harper really wished her body had crashed into his instead of their carts.

“Completely my fault,” he said to her. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“There’s a lot of of you to watch out for,” she replied and immediately her cheeks pinked. “I mean....fuck,” she muttered again.

“You’re quite fond of that word.”

“Well, my mom always told me it wasn't ladylike to curse but I mean, how do you possibly trust someone who doesn’t? This is mild anyways.”

“Oh? What does it take to make the wild cursing come out?”

Harper rolled her eyes. “Talk Penguins hockey to me.”

“Not a Penguins fan then?”

“Not no, but hell no.”

“But a hockey fan?”

“That would be true.”

“And who do cheer for?”

“Flyers.”

“Yet you live in Pittsburgh.”

“No, I go to school in Pittsburgh. I live in Philly.”

“Interesting. So you enjoy being in enemy territory then?”

“Not really,” she laughed. “Do you know how obnoxious Pens fans are?” She shuddered to emphasize her point. “I do my best to avoid anything and everything Pens related.”

“That must be hard.”

“Not really. I just don’t read the sports sections. And I only go to Pens game if they play the Flyers.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked, stepping closer to her.

“Please.”

He smiled. “I like the Flyers but don’t tell anyone. I’m from Philly too.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“What the hell are you doing in Pittsburgh?”

He laughed. “I’m Eric by the way.”

“Harper. And that was not an answer.”

“It wasn’t. I work here.”

“I see. Well Eric, it was nice to meet you but I should get moving. I lost a bet to my roommate and owe her dinner.”

“I won’t keep you then. It was nice to run into you, Harper.”

She smiled back at him. “You too.”

~*But with you it's like the first day of my life*~

Eric Tangradi watched as his dog, Carson ran around the otherwise deserted dog park on an off Saturday afternoon in February two weeks later. He looked up from his phone as he heard the scraping of metal as the gate opened. He sat up quickly as the brunette turned. His breath caught, recognizing the sweet smile and the blue eyes immediately. He stood and waved.

“Hey, Harper.”

“Hi,” she replied in surprise. She unclipped the leash from the doberman at her side and walked towards him. “This is not what I expected today.”

“You mean you’re not stalking me? Damn.”

Harper grinned. “It’d be hard to do that considering I only know your first name.”

“We should learn more about each other. I have all day.” She blushed prettily and it only made Eric smile broader.

“Your dog is adorable.”

“Thanks. So is yours.”

“What’s his name?”

“Carson. Yours?”

“Charlotte.”

“I think they like each other,” Eric said, nodding in the direction of the two dogs. They sniffed each other for a moment and then Carson fell into step beside Charlotte and followed her around the open space.

“Just like a man, following a bitch around,” Harper grinned.

Eric laughed. “Do you wanna grab coffee or something after this?”

“You want to have coffee with me?” Harper asked incredulously.

“Is that hard to believe?”

“Yeah. Have you seen you?”

“Every day when I look in the mirror. Not much to be impressed by. You on the other hand...”

Harper scoffed. “I'm average at best.”

“I’d rate you a solid eight out of ten.”

“You're being generous. I’m a six on a good day.”

“You are definitely an eight,” Eric disagreed. “Pretty smile, incredible bright, blue eyes. You make that Flyers sweatshirt look really good too.”

Harper laughed. “It’s a wonder I don’t get beat up wearing this.”

“Because you’re pretty, people forgive you.” Harper blushed and bent her head to avoid his eyes. The way Eric looked at her told her he was sincere. It was no line; he meant what he said.

“Coffee would be nice,” she finally said, lifting her face to look at him.

~*The way you smile, the way you touch my face*~

A week of texting back and forth transpired between Eric and Harper, trading life stories and secrets. Harper couldn’t believe how easily she found talking to him, the simple ways that he disarmed her and made her open up to him like she had never done with anyone else before. And try as she might not to fall for him, she was doing just that.

Eric hadn't stopped thinking about her since the afternoon in the dog park that had led to coffee and talking for two hours after. She was easy to talk to, carefree and independent and he found that he could tell her things he wouldn’t otherwise share with someone. It was like he had always known her, that they had been friends for years. It was simple, easy. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell her who he really was. He knew he had to, that he should have over coffee. He just couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

And then the decision was taken out of his hands. He had been pulled off the ice at practice and gotten the news. He was being traded. To Winnipeg. He had to be on a plane out of Pittsburgh in six hours. How he would tell Harper was beyond him but he called her, asked to meet her for lunch. She agreed and now here he was, sitting across from her, fiddling with his napkin while she watched him. He looked up at her and his breath caught like it always did. Somewhere in the space of a week, she had gone and stolen his heart. He had no idea if she felt the same and even if she did, he was about to screw it all up and he knew it. With a deep breath, he blurted out the words he should’ve said a week sooner.

“Iplayforthepenguins.”

“I'm sorry, what? I swear you just said you play for the Penguins.”

Eric blushed. “That’s what I said.” Harper dropped her fork and it clattered off of her plate.
“Actually, I played for the Penguins. They traded me an hour ago.”

All the air whooshed right out of Harper's lungs. “Traded?”

“To Winnipeg.”

“To the fucking Jets?!”He nodded his head grimly. “You’re a professional hockey player?” she asked. He nodded again. “And you didn't think to mention this before now?”

“You really had no idea?”

“Not a clue. I don’t follow the Penguins, at all. And I'm too busy screaming for the Flyers to kill Crosby to pay attention to the rest of you.” She sat back in her seat. “Holy fuck.” She pushed back from the table abruptly. “I have to go.”

“Harper, wait,” he called after her. He threw money onto the table and chased after her, grabbing her arm as they reached the parking lot. “I’m sorry, Harper. I didn’t know how to tell you. I messed up.”

“You think? You play hockey and you just got traded, to Winnipeg. How far away is Winnipeg? Like a million miles?”

“Just over a thousand miles and twenty hours away,” Eric answered quietly.

“Holy fuck,” she muttered.

“It’s only a two hour flight.”

“And?”

“You could come visit me?”

“Are you kidding me right now? You’ve been lying to me for a week and you think I’d visit you? Yeah right.”

“Harper....I really like you. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Yeah? That’s funny because if you really liked me, you would’ve told me what your “work” was instead of hiding it from me.” She air quoted around the word work and her face did nothing to hide the contempt she felt in that moment.

“I thought you wouldn't like me if you knew I played for the Penguins.”

“You thought I’d hold that against you? You’re a fucking idiot, Eric, you know that?”

He sighed. “Yeah, I know.” He grabbed her to him and hugged her, wanting one last chance to hold her, to feel her.

She pulled away from him after a beat and crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head sadly. “Good luck in Winnipeg, Eric.”

“Harper....”

She shook her head fiercely. “Don’t.” She turned and walked away from him without a second look. He watched her until she disappeared around a corner. He wanted to chase after her but his feet remained glued to their spot for a good ten minutes before he finally trudged to his car and drove home to pack.

~*It's something that you do I can't explain*~

April ended and the Jets didn’t make the playoffs. Eric headed home a week after the season ended. His new teammates were great, and he had bonded with them quickly but he couldn’t get Harper off his mind. He had called her a few days after arriving in Winnipeg but she hadn’t answered and didn't return his call, even after leaving her a message. Two days after the phone call, he texted her and she didn’t answer that either.

Back home in Philly, he hung out with his friends and did what he could to move on and forget her. His thoughts always circled back to her though and many nights, he found himself staring at her name in his phone, wanting to call her but never doing so. In the span of a week, she had changed everything in his life and then like a wrecking ball, he had ruined it all. Now, three months after meeting Harper, he was left heartbroken because somehow, in only a week, he had fallen head over heels for her.

Eric rose early on a Thursday morning in mid May, leashed Carson, and made the two mile walk to the nearby dog park. He let the boxer off his leash and walked towards a bench to watch him. Only two other dogs were there this early, two yellow labs that he had seen before. He waved to the couple that owned the labs as he sat. Ten minutes later, a flash of brown running past him caught his attention. It took a minute for him to follow the blur but there it was, the familiar doberman rolling around with his boxer.

Eric stood and turned towards the gate, his eyes meeting Harper’s. She stood frozen and so did he as they stared at one another for a moment before she finally began to walk towards him. She sat at the opposite end of the bench and he watched her, staring down at her as she stared straight ahead. He sat, unable to make words and just looked at her.

Ten minutes of silence lapsed into fifteen, then twenty. There was so much he wanted to say, so many thoughts racing through his mind. How he felt when she talked to him, how he felt when she looked at him, how she disarmed him so easily. He wanted to tell her that she left him speechless and in that moment, she truly had. Words failed him and his palms sweated nervously.

“Have dinner with me,” he finally blurted out. Her eyes cut to his and he flushed. “Please.”

“No,” was her blunt response.

“Harper, please. I need....I want....Can I explain myself, please? What about coffee?”

“I don’t want to have dinner or coffee or anything with you, Eric.” She turned her body away from his. “I just want to forget you,” he heard her say.

Her words gave him hope so he pressed on. “I can’t forget you, Harper,” Eric continued. “And I don’t want to.”

“You lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you the whole truth and you never asked what I did anyways.”

“That’s your excuse? Because I didn’t ask?”

“No, that’s not what I mean. I should’ve told you, Harper. I was wrong, I messed up. Please, have dinner with me. Let me make it up to you.”

She frowned and stood up. She whistled for Charlotte and the dog trotted over and she clipped her leash on. “Coffee,” she said. “I’ll have coffee with you. An hour. I’ll meet you. The Starbucks on Main Street. I assume you live around here since I didn’t see your truck.”

He nodded. “An hour,” he repeated. He watched Harper as she left the dog park and loaded Charlotte into her car. He called Carson over, waved goodbye to the owners of the labs and made the walk back to his condo. He took a quick shower and changed clothes, grabbed his wallet and walked to the Starbucks. It had been forty five minutes since leaving the dog park but he wasn’t surprised that Harper was already there, a drink in front of her as she sat at one of the tables inside. He ordered a coffee for himself and once it was in hand, sat down across from her.

Eric smiled as he sat, offering a quiet hey. Harper looked up at him, always had to look up at him. There was warmth radiating from his eyes and she felt the wall around her heart start to crumble. “Fuck, he’s bad for my resolve,” she thought to herself. How was she supposed to be mad when he came in freshly showered, his hair still damp and dripping onto his grey v-neck, stretching deliciously tight across his shoulders and chest? How could she be mad when he smelled so damn good? She wanted to surrender to him but she steeled herself to fight her heart on him.

“You have ten minutes,” Harper said, glancing at her watch.

“Harper,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you but I was scared. I liked you in the grocery store, when you kept saying fuck and I thought it was possibly the hottest thing ever, this incredibly attractive girl just spouting off fuck like it was the most common word in the english language.”

“You mean it’s not?” Her face softened into a smile.

Eric chuckled. “For you maybe. I didn’t think I’d see you again but when you were at the dog park, I just wanted to spend a little more time with you and I should have told you then, at that coffee shop in Pittsburgh but I couldn’t make myself say the words, because I was sure that if you knew I was Penguin, of all the teams I could possibly play for, that you would hate me.”

“Are you even a Flyers fan?”

“I’m supposed to say I’m a Jets fan but come on. I was born and raised here. Of course I’m a Flyers fan.”

“Why would you even think I would hate you? If you had just told me....”

“If I had just told you what?”

“If you had just told me, at coffee, I wouldn’t have cared. It would’ve been weird and I certainly wouldn’t have started cheering for you or anything crazy, but I still would’ve liked you.”

“I know I screwed up, Harper, but please, just give me a chance.”

"I don't know...."

"I'm home all summer. I don't go back to Winnipeg until the first of September. When do you have to go back to Pitt?"

"I don't. I graduated last week. I'm home for the summer, enjoying the freedom of being 23 until I have to get a job like a real adult."

"Give us a chance, Harper. Give us this summer."

"What if I fall in love with you? Then what? I'm in Philly, you're in Winnipeg. It's a whole other country."

"I'm pretty sure I'm already in love with you Harper but at least if you give us a chance, then this time when I go to Winnipeg I'll have you, and I can talk to you and we can Skype and you can visit me."

"You think you love me?" Harper asked.

"Why did you think I was so nervous at lunch that day in February?" Eric smiled.

"Because you're a fucking liar."

"Yeah, because I'm a fucking liar who thought the girl he was falling for was going to hate him and never talk to him again and I was right. I knew I had screwed up and I knew there wasn't anything to say to fix it."

"I watched your games."

"You did?"

Harper nodded. "I missed you, dumbass. And the only way to see you was to watch you so I did. You're not half bad. Andrew Ladd is really hot."

Eric groaned. "He's married."

"So? I can still look."

"You should only look at me."

"I was."

"I thought about you everyday."

"You did not."

"I did." He passed his phone to her, pressing the button that illuminated his lock screen and Harper smiled softly. "I haven't changed it from that picture since the day I got traded. Even when you wouldn't answer me, I didn't want to forget you."

"When did you take this?"

"That day at the coffee shop, when you weren't looking. Harper, there hasn't been anyone since I met you, I swear. I can call Evander, he'll tell you. He gave me so much shit but I told him about you."

"Evander Kane?" She said in disbelief. "You told Evander Kane about me?"

"We roomed together on the road."

"Lets say I give you a chance. What does that mean exactly?"

"If you give me a chance, I'll give you all of me. I promise you that."

"And why should I give you a chance?"

"Because you want to. You have to like me as much as I like you. I can't be in this alone."

"So what? I'm your girlfriend?"

Eric smiled and reached across the table, locking his fingers with Harper's. "I really want you to be my girlfriend." He leaned over the table and she rose out of her chair, their lips meeting in the middle. It was a short, sweet kiss but it made Harper's lips tingle.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Eric asked softly. He groaned after. "I sound like I'm in middle school, not a 24 year old professional hockey player."

Harper laughed. "You haven't called Evander yet. I want to hear what he says."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Eric rolled his eyes but called Evander, who answered on the third ring. "I need you to talk to Harper."

"Dude! You went to Pittsburgh and stalked her? I told you that was not a good idea."

"I didn't go to Pittsburgh and stalk her." Harper giggled as Eric blushed again. "I saw her at the dog park, here in Philly. Today."

"Really?"

"Yes really. She's sitting across from me in a Starbucks."

"Put her on the phone!" Evander demanded. Eric handed the phone over.

"Hello?" Harper said shyly.

"Harper?"

"Yes?"

"Holy shit! This is really Harper?"

"Yes. This is really Evander Kane?"

"The one and only," he boasted. "Youbhave no idea how hung up that guy across from you is. Trust me. You are all he talked about. He pined for you."

"He did?"

"Big time. I'm sure he's told you he's sorry already and you're probably not sure if you believe him but you should. He is big time sorry. He was sad when he got here and we all thought it was just the trade but our first road trip, he told me about you. Then he didn't shut up about you. He was sad you wouldn't call back and answe his texts."

"I was mad."

"I can understand why. Look, if he hasn't asked himself yet, you should give him a chance this summer. I know he'll be good to you. Hey, do you have a pen or something?"

"I think so. Let me check my purse real quick." Harper dug into her purse and came up with one. "Okay, I've got one."

"Grab a napkin. I'm gonna give you my number. If he screws up again, you call me and I'll come down and kick his ass." Harper laughed as she jotted the number down, promising to save it in her phone and send him a text later. She passed the phone back to Eric who talked to him for a minute before hanging up.

"So I'll pick you up at six tonight? Dinner and a movie?" Eric asked.

"Six," Harper repeated.

"Did you drive here?"

"No, I walked."

"Can I walk you home?"

"Sure." They stood and Eric grabbed her hand in his and Harper smiled up at him before letting go of his hand and tucking herself close to his side, slipping her arm around his waist. He leaned down, kissing the top of her head and pulling her closer with an arm around her shoulders.

~*I'd run a million miles just to hear you say my name*~

She only lived a couple blocks away from him. In fact, Eric’s place was only another few blocks past hers. One way or another, they would’ve run into each other that summer. For that Eric would always be grateful. She had visited for a week when the season opened, back in early October, and had met his teammates then. Evander had been sure they all knew about her at training camp, had even called her and put her on speaker phone one afternoon. Harper had taken it all in stride, laughing and joking along with the guys at Eric’s expense.

It was late November, nearly two months into the season and Harper’s visit to Winnipeg coincided with American Thanksgiving. Although many of his teammates were Canadian and had already celebrated their Thanksgiving in October after her first visit, she was planning to cook dinner for a small group of the guys so she and Eric could enjoy the tradition of their home country.

There were a handful of Americans on the team celebrating the holiday, some married with families, so Harper had insisted Eric invite those that were young and single like them since the Jets were off on Thanksgiving and the Friday after. The unofficial head count was four Canadians, four Americans (including themselves) and three Europeans. At least six of those guys were bringing along girlfriends. She had emailed Eric a list of things she would need and he had dutifully gone to the nearest grocery story for all the food and a Target for the pots and pans she required.

She called when her plane landed. He was already waiting at the airport for her. He had been there for twenty minutes, diligently watching the incoming flights board as the minutes ticked by. He waited in the baggage claim for her. Finally she appeared and Eric made his way through the crowds to reach her, reaching an arm out to touch her shoulder lightly.

She turned and melted into his arms. It was always her reaction when she saw him, every time without fail. He’d turn up on her doorstep, she’d meet him at the gym after a workout, or here now in an airport. It never mattered. Her face lit up in a smile, causing him to do the same as she stepped into his arms and let him hold her close, hugging her body to him.

Harper took a step back from him, tipping her face up at his. Eric grinned and lowered his face to hers, kissing her breath away. “I love you,” Eric whispered.

“Love you too,” Harper whispered back. She put her hand in his and tugged him towards the waiting baggage carousel. He snagged her bags and led her to his car.

They chatted on the drive to his place and when he pulled into the driveway, Harper turned to him with a confused look. “We’re hanging out with your teammates?”

“No. We’re home.” He stepped from the car and hurried around to her door, opening it for her.

“Home? But you have a condo downtown.”

“Not anymore. I moved.” He was renting a house, too big for just him, but perfect for his plan. He had moved since Harper’s first visit and she hadn’t been here yet, didn’t even know he had moved. He hoped she liked it.

“Why?” She asked as she followed up the walk, her suitcase in hand. He pushed open the front door, leaving her bag by the door as he ushered her inside, locking the door behind them.

“Wanted more space.”

“Did you get a roommate?”

“No.”

“This is a lot of space for just you.”

“I know.” He took her hand and led her up the stairs. “Sit down,” he said, pointing to his bed. She did as told, slipping her shoes off and curling her legs under her as she sat on the end of the bed. She watched Eric as he moved towards an iPod dock and flipped it on, settling on a song and pressing play before walking back and sitting beside her. He pulled her against him as the words played.

Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I've dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worth it
With you it feels like I am finally home

“Eric...” she murmured softly. He held her tightly, kissing her cheek.

“Listen,” he said softly. She nodded, laying her head against his chest.

I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no

“I want you to move in with me, Harper,” Eric said. “I know you don’t have a job in Philly so there’s no reason you have to stay there. You can live here, with me, and find a job here. It can’t be any harder to become a teacher here than it would be back home.”

“What if I don’t find a job?” Harper asked.

“I don’t care. We’ve been together almost six months; you’re hosting Thanksgiving dinner with me for some of my teammates in two days. I just really want you to be here with me. I love you, Harper.”

“You’d let me mooch off of you for an undetermined amount of time?”

“I mean, we could come to some mutually satisfying agreement on payment if you’re worried about that,” he joked with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Harper laughed.

“I want to move in with you,” she said quietly.

“You do?”

“I do.....and I lined up my work visa last week because I took a job here two weeks ago."

“What?!”

“Surprise!” Harper giggled. Eric pulled her back onto the bed with him.

“You got a job here? But you didn’t tell me.”

“And you didn’t tell me you moved....but Evander did. He slipped a month ago. He told me you wanted me to move here so I started looking. He knew; he helped me with the paperwork. But even if I hadn't found this, I would’ve said yes. I want to be where you are and cheer for you. I’m still cheering for the Flyers next week though.”

Eric laughed. “Wouldn’t expect any different. Oh, that reminds me. Evander told me to give you this when you got here.” He stood and walked to his closet, coming back with a wrapped box. “He said it’s a welcome to Winnipeg gift. Now I know why he was so confident that you’d say you’d move in. Here I was a nervous wreck and he knew the whole time. Traitor.”

Harper tore the paper away and lifted the lid to the box with a laugh, pulling out the blue Evander Kane Winnipeg Jets jersey. Eric rolled his eyes and took it from her, tossing it into the floor.

“The only jersey you need is mine and there are two in the closet. One home, one away,” Eric told her.

“Only jersey I ever want,” Harper promised.

“Good.” She smiled and pulled herself up so her face was level with his.

“I love you, Eric. Thanks for crashing your cart into mine.”

“You crashed into me,” he corrected.

“I did no such thing.”

“Totally your fault but I won’t hold it against you.”

“That’s a relief,” she whispered as she pressed her lips to his. “What time do you have practice tomorrow?”

“Eleven.”

Harper glanced at the clock on his nightstand. It was only one in the afternoon. “So do you think we can stay in bed now until you have to leave tomorrow?”

“That sounds very doable,” Eric said, pulling Harper back down to him and crushing his lips to hers. “Very, very good idea.”

“Mmm,” she murmured against him. “Very, very good.”

Cuz you leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender
My everything to you

FIN