India

After a decent half hour of straighteneing his hair and spraying it with a little too much hairspray, Alex was just about done. Muttering under his breath, he shoved a grey beanie over his hair and pulled on a jacket, stuffing his feet into his converse.
Jack's horn beeped for the third time from outside, and Alex rolled his eyes, shoving his keys in his pocket and the bottle of vodka he'd scored underneath his jacket.

"Bye Mum, im gonna go stay at Jack's house."
Isobel smiled and looked up from the book she was reading, glasses perched at the end of her nose.
"Alright sweetheart, have fun."
Alex offered her a small smile and kissed her forehead, slipping out the front door just as Jack honked the horn again.

"Fucking hell, im coming." He chuckled a little, climbing into the backseat of Jack's car. Rian was sitting in the front and Zack in the back, blink blaring loudly through the speakers.
"Chill, its already fucking 10 and we havent even started drinking."

Fast forward almost half an hour, and Alex was shoving his way through the door of the party at some unknown kid's house, alcohol already pouring and the smell of weed and cigarette smoke thick in the air. People were packed wall to wall, loud bass music making the entire place come alive as girls walked around in the shortest dresses possible, guys oogling after them without so much as a second thought.

"Fuck, Alex?!"
A grin spread across his lips as Matt Flyzik approached him, hugging him briefly.Matt was essentially the Alex Gaskarth of Towson. Popular for absolutely nothing except sleeping with a lot of people and drinking far too much.
"Hey Matt."
"It has been way too long since i've seen you man, where have you been hiding!"
Jack interrupted, a drink already half empty clutched tightly in his left hand.
"He's been screwing around with a girl. Think she's made Alex a little soft."
Matt laughed. "Alex? Soft? I highly doubt that. "We'll see how soft he is at the end of the night." He grinned and slipped Alex a beer, the boys weaving their way through the crowd of people into the backyard.

Barely an hour had passed before Alex was pretty drunk, his beer long gone as well as nearly a quarter of his bottle of vodka. A cigarette was between his fingers, puffing at it casually as he leaned against the red brick wall of the house, palm pressed flat against it as a girl stood with her back leaned against the wall, dark brown eyes looking up to meet his. His head hurt a little, but he knew he'd be able to handle more alcohol if he tried. The girl babbled insistently about something he wasnt entirely sure about, her lips moving a mile a minute as he watched. She was fairly pretty, dark eyes and even darker hair, fringe swept to the side and loosely curled. She was thin with a little less boob than he preferred, but she had an ass to make up for it.
"You're so hot, you know that?" He cut her off after a few more moments when it became apparant she wasnt going to shut up.
"Thank you." Her smile was small, clearly intimidated by being so close and so alone with him.
"Can i kiss you?" He asked quietly and blew out a lungfup of smoke, leaning down just a little.
No sooner had their lips collided before Alex was being tugged away, hands gripping onto his shirt. He half expected to see Jack there, cock blocking him only to tell him some ridiculous story. Maybe he even expected to see Zack or Rian. He definitely didnt expect to see a petite and very attractive looking Lisa Ruocco right before him.

"I've been looking for you everywhere, Gaskarth." She almost purred, her arms sliding around his neck as her body pressed flush against his. In all honesty, this would probably be more convenient for him. The brunette girl who's name he couldnt quite pinpoint was gorgeous, but clearly lacked experience and Alex honestly wasnt even sure if she was sixteen, like she'd said. Lisa knew what she wanted, plus her boobs were way more impressive and they looked very nice pushed up and against his chest like they were now. Brunette girl took this as her cue to scurry off, Alex wasting no time in pressing Lisa back against the brick wall.

"I've been looking around all night for a decent girl." He said lowly, hands reaching down under her thighs. With one quick pull, he lifted her and secured her legs around his waist, hips pressing into hers perfectly as her back met the wall again.
"Hmm, luckily you found me then." Lisa purred, fingers tangling into his hair as her lips came close to his.

Alex let all intuition go in that moment, his lips feeling far too good pressed against Lisa's to pull away. The alcohol that clouded his brain made it a hell of a lot easier than it should have been to take Lisa back into the house, the pair of them slipping into a spare bedroom before Alex's hands were everywhere on her body that he'd never dared to place on Indias. Lisa was all too willing, her lips and tongue and teeth working magic on every inch of his body that he hadnt felt in so long. He became distant in that moment, the girl moaning and writing beneath him and his hips pressed again and again into hers, hands gripping onto her chest as he worked to bring them both closer to their peak. In the pit of his stomach, he knew this was so, so wrong,

Lisa should not be pressed underneath him right now. It should be India. He should be ontop of her, kissing her delicate skin and tangling his fingers with hers as he made love to her. He should be holding her close and making her feel beautiful and wanted and loved. A sense of anger washed over him in that instant, the realisation he'd come too hitting him like a freight train. There was a reason he always ended up in this situation. Drunk with a girl beneath him who was just as out of it as he was. This was all he was good for. Nobody could ever love him. How can someone else love you, if you cant even love yourself?

With one final thrust, Alex released everything he had into Lisa, rolling off her to lay on the bed of a total stranger. Soft snores from beside him let him know she was passed out, blanket draped over her lower half.

Alex allowed himself to break down in that moment, eyes fixed on the ceiling as he cried, fingers tangling into his hair in pure frustration. He would never, ever be good enough for India. The girl laying next to him was enough proof for that. Alex finally realized all he was good for. Absolutely nothing,