Love is Foolish

His expression. His heart broken expression.

One part of her, the part that he'd be proud of, wanted to see what else she could do to him. How long until he'd break? It was that sick little game she couldn't stop playing with everyone. How long until her manipulations wouldn't work?

But they always worked. She could do whatever she wanted. No one ever tried even to stop her.

Another part of her wanted to stop the pain she was inflicting, to run downstairs and give him a hug.

But it was stupid she reminded herself. Hugs, like most things are a sign of weakness. And one must never ever be weak. She had to be in power always. It was the only way she could be happy.

Alex would just have to suck it up and be happy she hadn't killed him. Her one and only failure. Not killing him. She already realized she'd regret it. Why didn't she do it? Why did she want to do it?

She felt torn. Sighing she took a quick shower, washing away the days events and went to sleep. She woke up the next morning, got dressed, ate a quick breakfast and went downstairs.

She found Alex staring into space. His face was almost completely bruised, black and purple covering his face.

But she couldn't help but notice that even with all her rage yesterday she hadn't come near to punching the cut. After everything, she still didn't touch it, knowing how much it would hurt. Well not since he'd tried to escape and she had to.

Yesterday's fit of anger shouldn't happen again, she reminded herself. She must always be in control. She can't let emotions control her. She just couldn't. She had to show Alex she was in control. She couldn't be weak. Never ever could she be weak. Anything but weak and easily wavered. She controlled her life. No one else.

She stood next to Alex and said "Hello." It wasn't cold like she wanted or warm like she always pretended. It was a blend.

Alex glared at her. His normally warm brown eyes looked cold and hating. She wasn't used to seeing that. "Oh are you talking to me now? Didn't I ruin everything?" He asked her emotionless.

She was taken aback by how angry and detached he sounded. "Because you know, I'd like a warning before you start randomly beating me up. Just a quick heads up will do. " He glared at her.

She was slowly becoming more pissed. But she reminded herself to hold her temper. It wasn't the first time people she'd brought over acted like that. Well maybe not exactly like that as normally the pain she inflected was purely physical instead of emotional. She just stared at him, giving him her best cold stuck up look.

"You know, you really had me fooled for a while. When exactly did you decide you hate me? Before or after you stole me away from my life?"

His words were actually succeeded at making her feel guilty. It annoyed her, more than anything. She had to make him stop. She wanted something that would take away her focus.

Sending Alex another cold smile,lacking any real happiness or warmth, she went to her closet and took out a lighter. She saw a glint of fear in Alex's eyes and it brought her a strange sense of pride. He was scared. It was her doing. She could make him scared.

She smirked at Alex and saw the fear grow as she went closer to him. His left arm was still full of scratches, the beautiful scratches she did, marked on his skin. But his right arm was completely bare.

She went closer to it, lighter in hand, looking forward for what she was about to do. Pain was the one who ruled in her world. It fascinated her, the way everyone could feel pain. The only way to truly determine someone's strength is by seeing how he'd react to pain. It wasn't the true reason she enjoyed pain, but it certainly was interesting.

Alex looked at her and said "Just stop. Why do you want to do this? What did I ever do to you?"

With a smirk, she said "Because I can and I want to."

She opened the lighter, looking at the tiny yellowish white flame, and pressed it to Alexs wrist, letting it burn.

Alex screamed, pushing himself away from her, trying to desperately free his arm, his eyes closed.

She found the sick part of her (even if she didn't refer to it like that), enjoyed it, basking in every second. The look on his face, the scream echoing through the room, the burn on his arm, beautiful. Simply beautiful. She loved every second. It was addictingly beautiful.

She knew he would be proud,proud of who she was, what she was doing. She slowly closed the flame.

Alex looked at her, tears in his eyes as he said with absolute loathing "I hate you. So much. I can't believe I thought we had something."

She smirked and said "Too bad." Then she lit the lighter again and pressed it on his arm. Alex let out a cry of pain. She smiled.

Seeing her smile, Alex immediately pressed his lips together ,not allowing a single sound to go through. She could see he was gritting his teeth in pain. He glared at her, looking so angry. She just smiled.

This was better than pretending to like him. Now he could see who she was. Deep inside she knew nothing could ever happen. She didn't want to risk it, not for that stupid love. This relationship, the one of torture and pain, was so much better than anything anyone could offer her. That relaxed her. She could do whatever she wanted.

A part of her wanted to stop hurting Alex. This never happened before, not with any other person, not ever. She shut it up. This was what life was about. Love and feelings had no place in it.

She looked at Alexs arm. Two burns now adorned it. She loved seeing the redness of the skin, the mark, everything. It was truly amazing.

Alex looked at her happy expression and said coldly "I'm glad the fact you just fucking burned me makes you happy. " His little comments were started to annoy her.

"You're right. It does." With that she turned around and went upstairs.

She sat in her study and worked more on her psychology degree. It was her true passion, understanding people, learning how they worked, what went on in all those minds.

She was still angry. Alex finally saw her true emotions and it made her sad. Pity that now she might actually like him. Not that she would do anything. She had her pride.

So she couldn't kill him. Big deal. She still had more pride than to make a move with him. She didn't want a stupid love relationship. She was feeling so lost and the feeling annoyed her.

The fact that she actually had second thoughts about hurting Alex annoyed her more. She never had second thoughts about hurting someone. She would have to get rid of them.

Alex wasn't the first man in her basement and he certainly wouldn't be the last. She would man up. Above everything she wouldn't stop. She couldn't let herself become weak.

She would never stop hurting Alex.