Bogoshipo
01.
Taehyung drew a lazy hand across his face, pushing the hair away from his eyes. He’d been in the practice room for hours, and he was sure if he looked outside he’d be able to see the dim reflections of sunlight coming through the cracks between the buildings. But he wasn’t really tired yet, he mused. To be accurate, he was exhausted. They had had schedule after schedule – music show recordings, and fan meetings, and radio shows, and no breaks in sight. He was exhausted, but tonight his mind wouldn’t let him sleep.
So he found himself in the practice room, replaying all their choreography and trying to put everything else to the back of his mind. Wondered why his chest felt a little funny lately. Maybe it was just from the extra stress. There had been a lot of added pressure after their debut a few days ago. Sighing, he took another swig from his water bottle and picked himself back up off the floor. Footsteps repeated marks on the floor as he moved through the dance again, slovenly, as the fatigue of the past few hours slowly caught up with him.
Today, or yesterday, he supposed it was now, had been their first fan meeting. They’d stood up on stage, the newly debuted seven boys who were striving for greatness, in front of all those people, and he’d felt butterflies. A little sick to his stomach even. Yoongi, who’d been standing next to him on the stage, must have sensed something was off with him. He nudged him a little and shot him a reassuring smile, his eyes crinkling up a little at the sides. And the butterflies got worse.
As the fan meeting drew on, the boys seemed to lose their shyness, and began to move in a way that was just them – just the seven friends who had practiced so hard for years for this day. Taehyung’s eyes, however, kept finding Yoongi. And as so many days before, he found himself memorizing his movements: his mouth when it moved, how he’d joke around with the other members, how he’d throw hearts and lip-biting smiles to the fans before them, how his eyes seemed to shine as if this was the happiest he had ever been.
Yoongi threw his arm around Seokjin, and they yelled something to the crowd together, smiles erupting into laughs. But Taehyung’s smile dimmed, and he took a step back, raking his eyes off the two. Seconds later, and Yoongi was in front of him, poking a finger into his cheek, with his eyes scrunched up and an ear-to-ear smile. Taehyung laughed and much of the night carried on in this way.
At some point during the evening, the two had found each other very close, and the younger boy’s eyes were drooping in the sunset haze. Taehyung wrapped his arms around the back of his hyung and leaned his chin on Yoongi’s shoulder, listening to him talk with the members and fans, feeling him breathe in and out against his chest. And they stayed like that for a while, it seemed, though no one really paid any notice. It was a frequent happening between any of them. Taehyung smiled a little though, as he pulled the other just a little bit closer to him, and lifted his chin a little further onto his shoulder so he could still take part in conversation and laughs.
“You missed a step,” he heard behind him as he snapped back to the present moment. The mirror in front of him reflected a tired looking boy entering the practice room behind him, shooting him a half smile as he rubbed sleep from his eyes.
“Huh?” Taehyung slanted his weight to his right, not turning around.
“You missed a step,” the older boy yawned, falling into line next to him in the mirror. “Watch.” His feet moved in time to the beat in his head, and he executed it precisely, even though Taehyung was certain he’d just woken up.
“See, now you try,” Yoongi told him, stepping off to the side of the room and slouching down the wall to the floor.
Taehyung tried again, this time focusing on what he was doing, making sure to get it right. When he’d finished, there was a quiet applause from his hyung, and he smiled a little. He sunk to the floor where he stood, sprawling out to lay flat on his back. He tried to pick out patterns in the ceiling, eyes trailing lazy designs over the tiles.
“Hyung,” he said, matter-of-factly.
“Mmm,” Yoongi murmured, his head resting back against the wall, eyes closed, like he might be trying to find sleep once again.
I realized today that I like you. And you probably don’t like me, but that’s alright, I think. I can like you by myself. But when you’re with someone else, or thinking of some other person, even if you like someone else… I don’t like it. My heart starts to hurt, and I get sad even when I just think about it. And when you’re not there, even if it’s just for a minute, or maybe even an hour, I miss you a lot. I think I must like you a lot, hyung.
“Let’s go back to the dorm, I’m tired.”
“Gladly,” Yoongi smiled, and pushed himself off the wall to his feet. He walked over and pulled Taehyung up by his arm, said ‘let’s go’ and walked out of the room. Taehyung half-smiled as he watched him go, trailing behind slowly.
I miss you.
So he found himself in the practice room, replaying all their choreography and trying to put everything else to the back of his mind. Wondered why his chest felt a little funny lately. Maybe it was just from the extra stress. There had been a lot of added pressure after their debut a few days ago. Sighing, he took another swig from his water bottle and picked himself back up off the floor. Footsteps repeated marks on the floor as he moved through the dance again, slovenly, as the fatigue of the past few hours slowly caught up with him.
Today, or yesterday, he supposed it was now, had been their first fan meeting. They’d stood up on stage, the newly debuted seven boys who were striving for greatness, in front of all those people, and he’d felt butterflies. A little sick to his stomach even. Yoongi, who’d been standing next to him on the stage, must have sensed something was off with him. He nudged him a little and shot him a reassuring smile, his eyes crinkling up a little at the sides. And the butterflies got worse.
As the fan meeting drew on, the boys seemed to lose their shyness, and began to move in a way that was just them – just the seven friends who had practiced so hard for years for this day. Taehyung’s eyes, however, kept finding Yoongi. And as so many days before, he found himself memorizing his movements: his mouth when it moved, how he’d joke around with the other members, how he’d throw hearts and lip-biting smiles to the fans before them, how his eyes seemed to shine as if this was the happiest he had ever been.
Yoongi threw his arm around Seokjin, and they yelled something to the crowd together, smiles erupting into laughs. But Taehyung’s smile dimmed, and he took a step back, raking his eyes off the two. Seconds later, and Yoongi was in front of him, poking a finger into his cheek, with his eyes scrunched up and an ear-to-ear smile. Taehyung laughed and much of the night carried on in this way.
At some point during the evening, the two had found each other very close, and the younger boy’s eyes were drooping in the sunset haze. Taehyung wrapped his arms around the back of his hyung and leaned his chin on Yoongi’s shoulder, listening to him talk with the members and fans, feeling him breathe in and out against his chest. And they stayed like that for a while, it seemed, though no one really paid any notice. It was a frequent happening between any of them. Taehyung smiled a little though, as he pulled the other just a little bit closer to him, and lifted his chin a little further onto his shoulder so he could still take part in conversation and laughs.
“You missed a step,” he heard behind him as he snapped back to the present moment. The mirror in front of him reflected a tired looking boy entering the practice room behind him, shooting him a half smile as he rubbed sleep from his eyes.
“Huh?” Taehyung slanted his weight to his right, not turning around.
“You missed a step,” the older boy yawned, falling into line next to him in the mirror. “Watch.” His feet moved in time to the beat in his head, and he executed it precisely, even though Taehyung was certain he’d just woken up.
“See, now you try,” Yoongi told him, stepping off to the side of the room and slouching down the wall to the floor.
Taehyung tried again, this time focusing on what he was doing, making sure to get it right. When he’d finished, there was a quiet applause from his hyung, and he smiled a little. He sunk to the floor where he stood, sprawling out to lay flat on his back. He tried to pick out patterns in the ceiling, eyes trailing lazy designs over the tiles.
“Hyung,” he said, matter-of-factly.
“Mmm,” Yoongi murmured, his head resting back against the wall, eyes closed, like he might be trying to find sleep once again.
I realized today that I like you. And you probably don’t like me, but that’s alright, I think. I can like you by myself. But when you’re with someone else, or thinking of some other person, even if you like someone else… I don’t like it. My heart starts to hurt, and I get sad even when I just think about it. And when you’re not there, even if it’s just for a minute, or maybe even an hour, I miss you a lot. I think I must like you a lot, hyung.
“Let’s go back to the dorm, I’m tired.”
“Gladly,” Yoongi smiled, and pushed himself off the wall to his feet. He walked over and pulled Taehyung up by his arm, said ‘let’s go’ and walked out of the room. Taehyung half-smiled as he watched him go, trailing behind slowly.
I miss you.